I'm keeping a daily log of my physical activity and estimated calorie intake which I pretty much measure. So this will be a calorie intake tracker as well. Also some log of psych thought police log. I find that this thought log requires people unfortunately to take in a bunch of thought that some of which is abhorrent or crazy to them some of which may be pleasant or interesting. In any event its an exercise for me to get out, combat schizo programming, gaslighting through biofeedback and such and is a log of the brain control experimentation I'm subject to. I do in fact have a programmed schizophrenia and as I write in a few logs below my mind even if my external program stopped will forever be schizophrenic now in how it take in reality and cannot tell the difference. I will probably post my thoughts on twitter less but i will post the daily log there. Eventually it seems like I'll have to publish these logs just to make a historical record of them i doubt there will be wide readership.

I am pressured by a health police CIA to exercise and diet 7 days a week until my body breaks down and including through injuries. I cannot run any longer because they pressured me to run every day at intense levels and I have knee problems now. I have reoccurring foot injury and a shoulder mobility condition. I try to be healthy and treat my body in a healthy way regardless. The CIA controls sporting events through AI brain control. Much of the articles disseminated in media discuss BCI or brain control interface as a way for humans to control machines with their brains, but what they most the time ignore and what the Biden Administration publicly acknowledged when they sanctioned 30 Chinese companies for connections to the usage of "Brain Control Weapons," is that machines developed to control human brains are in play in the world. All I'm saying is that I am singled out for Mind Control operation in which the brain control technology is used on others including sports. They make people make bad plays, mistakes or good plays then have commentary in moment and for days designed to condition me and harass me or give negative/positive feedback. They also control my environment through a tactic called gangstalking or the Targeted Individual program which I describe in a book im writing and which can be googled. they in fact used the pandemic for this as well as start fires and other natural disasters, the sports play is more on the lighter side of what they do.

8/6

This is my last log on the internet I will be doing this offline for myself. They responded with a very dangerous maneuver on freeway. Nobody came to aid they just parallel play like toddlers when we are adults living in democratic society. So I’m just going to write offline.

8/5

Taylor Swift gave 100k bonuses to her trucking staff. Don’t know much about Taylor swift but that makes me like her. The voices said this morning that “you’re lucky that you’re interesting enough for people to want to kill you” basically we are turning people into a bunch of little pol pots. I personally think this is done to ultimately push world right. If you look at the 20th century, that’s what happened. extreme leftwing violence around world had effect of pushing people right, into todays kleptomaniac police state fascist prison planet. I view this as strategic manipulation. If I had a kid under 7 , 8 years old I’d take them to Disneyland over California adventure but I personally like CA Adventure more. Hit lots of traffic on way to San Diego, Ithey had a preppy guy spit at our car angry preppy guy. Then there was a bunch of dodger fans at rest stop. Fans are a bit of a trip it’s like a big family when almost nothing else in society is.

8/4

Spent the morning a CA adventure. Got on 7 rides in 3 1/2 hrs went really well. Parents loved it my mom loved Soarin as I expected. They’re tired right now. We are back at hotel. I shared a breakfast burrito with my dad so it was sausage. But other than that only fish or veggi. We may get season passes we are thinking. Appearently you can get a payment plan. They harassed me with dumb looking mob, then said “I’m playing hard to get” because I think we are developing a culture of lynch mobs and branding them riots or covering them up with rioting. But really I’m pretty easy just don’t be sadistic. Like I wake up everyday and say I’m not going to be a sadist today and I just don’t it’s pretty easy. I just don’t mesh with people who are vapid dumb and sadistic. So people can go have their amazing revolutionary as sadists in disguise life and leave me alone.

8/3

To continue on with intertemporality, many marvel movies deal with intertemporality and posit multiverse incidentally saw rodgers the musical was well done. It’s supposed to be campy done in jest. Well they dealt with intertemporality. One drawback of CA adventure is it’s hotter less shade. Thought they shoulda had misters in some spots but I guess that wastes water. We ate at around 2 which is too late to do lunch because you are in the park in heat of the day. Last time we came here it was April we left ate at noon returned around 5. Musical was a talented cast I liked the guy who did nick fury a lot but they all were great. I’ve been able to maintain pescatarian vegetarian meals and they are pretty healthy and tasty. I’m probably going to start eating more vegetables

They keep insinuating A and B are interested in moving here and dating me and then call me Mrs. Doubtfire when I don’t believe it. First of all I feel like I couldn’t accomplish a successful date.

8/2

I like Disneyland it is a nice environment. It helps to have a hotel room to rest at for a second push in evening. Rise of the resistance is an elaborate ride to borrow from my brother in law. We got here at rope drop. It might be a blackout date. I saw the guy doing the ride at jungle cruise not the skipper I don’t think quickly enough but the seater. and thought I could maybe do that. Looked fun. I was remembering never going here in college when I lived in Orange County, but I may actually have gone once I have a vague memory. Today I had an ahi dish at orleans cafe it wasn’t very big but was tasty had pepper small amount of cilantro dressing. I almost got a salad but ahi was 12 dollars ate a few fries from sister which was good. I’m not really doing health log today, but I’ve walked 9k steps also had a banana and shared half a breakfast burrito with my sister.

Once you get really rich things must just get really weird like when I was in aspen or like Beverly Hills and the designer shops just feels like weird that rich people spend money on this stuff. I actually was drawn to other people and cultures for a long time which is why I majored in global cultures. It was only after being subject to a counterintelligence mind control program that I began to feel comfortable around Americans white people stuff. I guess I liked it somewhat just because people are funny and such generally good sometimes not. So this can be true of anyone around world.

It got busier in evening, but was good. I noticed a programming where whoever sends me the voices will increase voices with an absence of white people many times. Saw the we don’t talk about Bruno light show coming off the small world ride. Giordano Bruno I think is the name of a writer or guy who was burned at the stake by Catholic Church for stating there were aliens or ETs I think is one thing he said. I wonder if that is a reference with Bruno in the movie. Had a lot of thoughts about intertemporality. But basically if time travel has been proven with light particles it means now or in distant future someone accomplished it, so what’s happening in past is happening now or in future. Like nonlinearality

8/1

Health log

Cottage cheese blueberries walnuts, pistachios yogurt, bean salad, dry cheerios, potato chips. At about 1200 cal. I plan to rest today will be doing lots of walking over next 3 days.

Thought log

On page 128 of Fingerprints of The Gods, Hancock discusses images of Sphinx and similarities to Olmec heads that appear to have african physical characteristics of face. I think I see similar head dress but i don't know if that is a similarity he is also citing. There's also an olmec sphinx like character on the opposite page and Olmec double lion gods and such or jaguar lion like things. Hancock thinks its possible a third culture connected to each was involved. But maybe it is 1 culture but i see that the third could be the common link.

I’m all for encouraging people to take care of their health or more succinctly supporting people who want to be healthy. However I’ve been made to feel shitty about my body and have been harassed every day for eating and the state of my body for over a decade 24 hrs a day. This has led to my dissatisfactory existence.

They gave me a dream in which B says she knows how they spend years making you think that someone is the perfect person for you that it’s inevitable you will meet. Then they had them say “stay away from me. It sucked anyway. Stay in one place” but it was a guy from my highschool smoking a cigarette. When I think of moving it's to find a place for all my family. Monarch usually cancels messaging with a cigarette. Don’t know what to make of the dream. It’s a little depressing this morning. This is the second time I’ve gone to Disney Cal adventure and they harass me with B messaging like this to depress me.

Mega Millions is a 529 million Cash payout. When it's this much plan upon winning is to keep 120 million for friends and family Give like 60 million to 60 different friends and family like couple of my friends, sisters friends moms friends, maybe brothers. Idea maybe to give 1.3 mil so after taxes they have a million or so or close. 7 million to each my brother sister and brother sister in law mom and dad. And purchase a house for the 4 of us Would prefer not to go above 2-4 million on house. And then give 400 million to foundation or charity. But for homeless and farm workers. 7 million to me. In my head this is justifiable. There’s certain 5 million dollar houses that are tempting and I think with the money what’s another million for a particular house in a particular area. Like I think I’d like a bigger house like 5 bd for guests families to visit potentially were I able to afford it. Due to cost of living in CA I start thinking I should make it 2 mil for 60 or so friends family on this big of payout. Would still leave 340 million for donation to farm workers homeless orgs.

As fun as it is to read the books and write the little thoughts and such, it can get a little tiring, so I am taking a break today ready for my trip to Disney and California Adventure. I'm worried because of the 3 weeks of harassment leading up to this, but I am excited because this time my mom and dad are coming one of the days. I think they may like California Adventure. I've wanted to show them it. A little worried about the amount of walking, but there's like 4 things they want to hit up. Radiator Springs, Grizzly River Rapids, The dancing cars and the Mater Car ride, and Soaring over California hopefully as opposed to world. I like both but my mom wants to do California. I'll likely read chapter three and start on the three-step process for that for my book. My book when published will likely be self-published due to content and will be a little small like 150 pages and such. But I'm kind of a concise writer so I think it will be worth reading. I'm trying to do it in the living room but my dad is like never quiet.

I think Agent Smith in the Matrix was supposed to be me because I wanted to be a secret service agent as a kid. Also I later came aware of with or identified a weaving of themes actors names and character names in movies as predictions and representations of me and people from my life. Hugo Weaving. They call me Hugo because my dad's uncle ate big sandwiches and always wanted to know what was for dinner. I'm supposed to be Hugo from lost, the voices tell me I've won the lotto and I've gotten bad luck but I play lotto. And Victor Hugo did hunchback of Notre Dame which was later destroyed in a fire I believe as retaliation for me eating or something. Also Hugo Weaving was born on April 4th and I would later entertain and write about in my blog and book about A weaving of sorts of people in history and assassinations or the beginnings of War like April 4th is also the day of MLK assassination and the date which in 1948 Winston in 1984 begins his diary entry and says "Last Night to the Flicks. All War Films" Neo which I believe is possibly a mashup is somewhat based on my cousin was born on 9/11. I've discussed the weaving on twitter before and somewhat in a previous log I think. Perhaps The Matrix was made by people who don't want to pay taxes because I am a Social Democrat. It's rather ironic because they destroyed my life for AI mind control brain content harvesting. Perhaps even "Dame" ian Lillard is a reference to this as Hugo in lost was linked to Lilly character. They are calling me a Lard ass hunchback ugly Quasi Modo who is supposedly wants to join the FBI agents who are complaining of Havana Syndrome in Miami. And now "nobody wants to trade for him" I'm supposed to be selfless and sacrifice my life like Joan of arc so they are saying Mia Mi. Anyways I don;t like how they make my environment hostile or depressing or harass me when I don't eat or excercise or mentally produce how they want me to. April 4 is also the Day NATO was created and the day World Trade Center was founded. ALso the number on the train in Hugo movie was 621 which is the last three numbers of a a car that spunout in a staged accident on the road driving down from San Francisco it was 6nne621 I think I have the number right but whatever the number was 721 or 621 it was direct match. I've just forgotten the number. I had been attacked in an assassination attempt on highway a few months earlier on April 13 my grandpas death date who worked for Hughes (hugo) aircraft.

7/31

Health Log

Pasta, cottage cheese blueberries walnuts, pistachio nuts and yogurt cheerios and milk. 1800 calories 5.6 k steps at 1130. at 12k steps at 420 pm. Ate some pasta at about 2000 calories. i didn't go to the gym because I didn't want to be depressed before going to my trip and they've been harassing me there regularly lately. Voices appeaered a bit upon eating pasta. I have an Ikea CHair and I get stiff sitting in it. Might be because I'm sitting too much lately with the voices.

800

Thought Log:

I think that voices are dissipating a bit for time being so my log may be less whiney and be of better quality. In A Language Older Than Words, Jensen writes how all living creatures are moving toward life and that Humans too are part of this trying to exist harmoniously in their environments and move toward life. He mentioned damned salmon and that's why I contemplated giving up fish in addition to meat. For now I am going to do fish 1 or 2 times a week or on the rare occasions I'm eating out if I can't find and need a healthy vegetarian alternative. Like I'm going out to eat in a couple of days and I am going to eat a salmon salad I think instead of a 10 inch pizza because I plan to eat a couple meals as it will likely be late at night. In Magdelena River of Dreams, Wade Davis discusses how Columbia is the most ecological diverse places in the World. There were peace accords signed in 2016. I am reluctant due to the Donald Trump Psyop and behavior of AMerica to travel to South America, though Columbia in pictures always seemed inviting. I also would like to go to Chile and Peru. What has been rumored a long time or basically acknowledged is that Nazis went to South America. According to Michael Salla's book they are a very powerful influence in the Region. I am afraid of the Amazon and Anacondas though. When Jensen discusses all living creatures moving toward life he concludes how there is a desire by the system to dominate rape pillage exploit and control. somewhere round pg 80

The problem I'd have with living in a mountain town is that there is typically like 1 way in 1 way out and with what happened in Paradise and with fires threatening wooded mountain towns I would be scared to be trapped. Also Blizzards shoveling snow falling on ice.

In Shakespeare's Messiah I'm reading the foreword by Jerry Russel PHD and he discusses how there have been numerous assessments by well educated people that the Romans did in fact create a hybrid Jewish religion one thought he has is that the story of Caesar and his assassination became a ritual of the imperial cult of Rome in remembrance and has many parallels to the story of Jesus so Russel surmises that this ritual was part of a hybridization of Jewish religion long at play functioning as a Hellenistic mystery religion that I haven't read the rest but I think he's going to say that it became basis for the Flavians or possibly was used by imperial cult of Flavians to continue on with hybrid religion. In the Creating Christianity book the author declares that Atwill is mistaken that the Flavians wrote the New Testament and that there is actually another coded literature by another Jewish/ Roman Royal family responsible for it. I wonder if this is misdirection or infighting amongst royal lineages. ANyways I plan to read the book. Just my initial reaction is that Atwill didn't say that the Flavians themselves wrote it as I recall but that a Jewish priesthood that had been converted did but I don't recall if that accurately remembers Atwill's details. I read the book a while back.

Dolan writes in secret space program that there was aNewspaper article from the 1980s which admittted that Vandenberg Airforce had secret 32 different astronauts in a secret space program.

People get mad at NBA Players forcing trades but they've been incentivized and sorta coerced by a lopsided market that penalizes them for leaving in free agency so they sign with their clubs, then 'force a trade'. Some of these air shows are just like "hey want to see a psychopath adrenaline junky fly a plane?" I mean some of the things they do are insane.

In parallel Worlds Kaku discusses hyperspace or 4th dimension and above possibly existing right above ours in which we can’t see things that are right here or like parallel worlds he discusses that planes in another dimension could be cylinders. HG Wells wrote a tale about it. So with the cigar shaped ufos and apparent invisibility of some, perhaps there was knowledge by Wells of this actual reality or possibly one.

Voices have dissipated and they treated me kindly in environment. They had a blonde tan girl in a rock t shirt who was dopplegangar of this woman they call “valley girl” which is just this woman that I saw like 5 years ago they say “valley girl gets it” or “valley girls into it” so this makes me think that dream neighborhood should be studio city because they indicate I’m liked in valleys I’m getting itchy right Palm. Reading about the alleged different ET races on earth and whom we have relations with the different factions and such. According to Salla, Eisenhower signed a treaty with the grays who cooperate with reptilians for one world government supposedly anyhow.

I'm reading in Area 51 book about a colonel Slater. Slater from saved by the bell looked like this kid I knew in school who went into the coast gaurd. Anyways it discusses how the advanced craft for it's time "Oxcart" was about to be retired to Palmdale. I am born in the year of the Ox and was going to go to Palmdale years ago when things were really hostile here. I wanted to get away with my family and build a lap pool to satisfy the voices. Anhyways at the last second in Area 51 book the president gave the Oxcart the green light for the CIA. They call me Ox because this guy named Ox was very into my friend and he worked with her but she wasn't into him. I think they are saying I'm big like him. Also I had a funny incident with a shopping cart, they follow me in Trader joes while I push a cart and my grandma and I used to stash carts from the store by her apartment building to carry groceries.

They have this story of Hakeem Olajuwon from the 1992 season and it seems to be a mental parallel to the voices and such. Olajuwon could be O LA Jew Won. Hack Keem They call me Key alot or names that linguistically start with Key. Charlie the owner of the Rockets could be refernce to King Charles. I didn't want to oppose Kings and such. I'm not about annhialating the past or traditions, but rather accept that they are forms of cultural structuring that some people buy into so there needs to be evolution with some semblance of cooperation with tradition to move forward away from conflict which has the potential to annihilate all life. Now there's certian things that are Archaic to continue in their traditional form but we don;t necessarily need to erase them or annihalate them and people. I've begun reading over my book again I will do a chapter a day or a segment of correcting Like 3 steps to one chapter There's a couple things I need to do to Chapter notes. I think I may have the normal amount of voices which is very managebale for reading and writing. They try to synchronize voices and such with final 3 weeks before my shot to cover for the technological abuse. I like chapter 1. I've added some to it. I like Chapter 2 its been edited. Next will be Chapter 3 to read and edit notes. I've been stuck here for 3 weeks due to voices.

In New Jim Crow, Michelle Alexanddr discusses how politicians used civil disobedience tactic for rhetorical effort and manipulation to blame crime wave on the breakdown in "Law and Order" i find this same tactic is used to attack the anti poverty effort today. It seems that a non-violent struggle at social reform in which multiracial coalition of poor people are led out of poverty as was taking shape between kennedy and king was attacked from left and right.. and the order that came out of it was this dystopia we live in now. Seems like a playbook in which left right feed off eachother into social order for rich impoverished divide. I'm up to 23 books reading three pages a day from each. It is kinda fun, don't know how fruitful it is in the way of thinking or retaining info, it has some advantages i think like drawing connections and seeing synchronicity. It's entertaining at least and satisfies my adhd. For instance I'm reading in A Language Older Than Words Jensen's bout with coyotes stealing chickens that "belong to him" paralleling the crime content in Alexander's book about law and order. Perhaps the Lanuage Older than words is matrix simulation or Universal being alien dna or whatever properties leading to my taking into account these records in books right at this very second. Jensen recounts a friend who said "new coyotes, new deal" so perhaps new generation or new people new deal. i don't know.

Since I got those voices and was being harassed to leave california and thought maybe the writings on the wall that they are going to try to make us leave the past two weeks, I looked up property in a few places, so now I get emails from a real estate site suggesting some. I got one from Roseville CA a three bedroom house 529k. Got a nice 3 bedroom house shared wall in Silver Spring MD for 334k 95 dollar HOA. 3 bedroom very nice Standalone in Silver Spring MD for 580k. An ugly house in 4bd jersey for 515k price. The voices told me Obama was obsessed with me moving to Michigan. And this is one reason I'd be hesitant to move to Ann Arbor. It may be heavily influenced by CHicago as that's the big player in the region. I didn't have too good a time under Obama Presidency. So I don't know if that's his doing or if him being obsessed with me is good or bad. I learned that Palm Springs is going to do a retirement community by Disney Or Disney is going to do one in Palm Springs. This is likely going to result in properties there going even Higher. But You can get into a 1 bedroom condo for few hundred k plus HOA.

Recalled since reading book on Columbia and voices saying Bogata is into you, that Castro may have worked for cia in Columbia before going to Cuba or something. Servando Gonzalez wrote a book on it.. Some days I give into the harassment mentally and think I'd like to move from here. I didn't go to gym because they've made it depressing for about 3 weeks. I saw a 5 bedroom colonial in Bloomfield New Jersey for 419 k. It is a suburb of New York and has average crime rate as rest of U.S. Don't know about schools just one rated as a 7. Columbia MD doesn't seem to have that great of schools. Unless you are paying big bucks in MD you get not very good schools or hospitals.

7/30g

Health log

Still being harassed by voices much of the day like a torture mentally. This causes me to eat but I’m doing my excercise went to gym. Did 40 minutes on elliptical 10 min bike walked 10 k steps probably ate 22~ 2300 calories. Did 12k steps

Thought log

I’m reading in book Parallel Worlds that there was an experiment done in Geneva Switzerland that demonstrated teleportation of light particles. The Chinese have done this too with their space station. Supposedly there’s no tech that can do this with larger objects. But I wonder if that is true probably not true. In the circle the Annie character seems a bit obnoxious and like there’s something way off about them. I’m reminded that I don’t think I’ve ever deliberately done something to someone in a premeditated way that I knew they wouldn’t like. Maybe in passion on sports as a child. The voices shit on my mind hours a day so that’s why I’m not having very fruitful thought logs or book editing. I don’t want to have relations with someone who tortures me for sadistic fun or as a pawn to manipulate for a political purpose science experiment morality police show and who doesn’t acknowledge reality and my ability to discern reality. And as I said in previous log I don’t want to bring someone into our circle who will play psycho games and such and doesn’t value harmonious or constructive participation. I wear kinda ugly casual clothes. I need to buy clothes I gained weight since getting voices because of them. Im going shopping tomorrow. They mirror UFC fights with my program like the fights represent personalities and themes they then use to taylor the harassment. It’s a joke that they see themselves as a ufc fighter. They are the biggest spineless cowards hiding behind technology, duplicity, manipulation, some desk somewhere or computer invading my brain mentally torturing me.

In Homo Deus Harari notes the similar structure between corporations like google and such and Sumerian Gods Enki and Enlil right before supposedly writing was invented, then Pharos. I don’t always agree with Harari but he is a treat to read because he has interesting thoughtful takes on humanity, history and society. They are trying to make California hostile and depressing so I suggest to my family that we move. The voices said “go to oregon” nobody in my family wants to go to Oregon and I’m not sure I’d like it. If we did decide to move Maryland is most likely place but I don’t know if it is just filled with spooks from all over the country and world and is possibly filled with power grubby slime balls. They are using old sex trafficking messaging to attack my self of steam so that I’m a softer target to direct and manipulate. When I get voices and hostile gangstalking my dream becomes to move to Santa Barbara and retreat. I’m reading about Edward Cayce after Joan of Arc. And I find it interesting that the voices I hear wanted me to lead a rebellion or some sort of revolution at one point. And when Joan of arc followed her voices like a pawn she was burned alive. So like that’s the general attitude of these people. My life is sacrificial so I haven’t read all of the cayce story yet but he may give coded info that a case is better than rebellion for my fate.

Because of the mass martialization and weaponization of community and social relationships connected to racial politics with war on terror homeland security with manipulative and controlling motivations I’m skeptical when they try to set me up with a woman of color. Like I know there are socially conscious women who are independent minded but I think there is a nazi science experiment and abuse with martialized people with racial grievances. This is partially why I stereotype a potential compatible partner as a conscientious emotionally intelligent open minded or mindful white woman. But I know the same weaponization of relationships exists across races I just think I’m more likely to find a stereotypical woman like this who is white.

7/29

Zealot could be something Zelinsky or cryptogram zel in sky is also referencing. Ot could be reference to what ought to be. After writing this a picture of Lucy from Seventh Heaven appeared in a suite with Jessica Biel and the lady from Buffy the Vampire slayer. So I looked up Lucy in the sky with diamonds, but found movie Lucy in The Sky which is a psycho drama movie that is harassment or something. Then I began reading Shakespeare's Secret Messiah which is where i read about Zealot. anyways in Shakespeares Secret Messia it discusses Herodians as a faction in a war in Judea. So I remembered that Rod was a character in Seventh Heaven that I had just read about. So I looked up Hey Jude Lyrics and the line "the movement you need is on your shoulders" so I thought of meanings and looked up phrases with shoulders like "got a good head on shoulder," "head above shoulders." Then I thought movement I do with my shoulders like Elliptical and Swimming. And so elliptical is like Oval. So I looked up symbology of Oval and there is a bunch of symbology it took me to oval ring symbol about fertility rebirth and such. So I also looked up meaning of Oval Office. It was created by Taft and later moved by Roosevelt in 1934 to overlook ROse Garden. I went back and looked up actor who played rod in 7th heaven and He is named Lane Toran Caudel. SO i thought Toran may mean torah and Lane I was attacked in a lane spinout or parralel lane on freeway. So I looked up what films he was in and one he is in Is Mysto Johnny Boy Wizard or something that includes time travel and magical rings and such and Merlin and King Arthur. He appeared in the movie with an Amber Tamblyn. AMber is a name the give B sometimes. AMber Tamblyn appeared in a comedy movie in which a guy is giving a rendition or talking outloud of a self help book and the boss thinks he's selling a customer so he loves it and sends him or promotes him to sell a drink called Thunder Muscle. The guys or acors name is blake something. I knew a kid who took creatine candy bars or gmc bars to gain muscle named blake. Anyways. I think this means that I don;t need to get buff as in reference to buffy vampire slayer and my movement i need is my brain and swimming and elliptical with minimal weightlifting otherwise i become a characature self help book Thunder Muscle comedy. There'a also equation for ellipse which says that A is -= to B essentially or y +B or something.

Upon looking up Seventh Heaven I remembered that one of the Actors was in my class in school and I thought he was generally nice. he vfell in with the social kids who by virtue of being social were i guesss coolish, I had basically 1 friend in School who moved in 6th grade then my other 4 friends were a kid named Chris, Matt, greg and eric. You'll see politicians and actors with these names. I then recalled that all the kids in my class to be conspiritorial in nature or secretive demonstrating to me the human behavior is common. I also looked up the lyrics to the opening song of Seventh Heaven and it goes "where can you go when the world don't treat you right? Home seventh heaven." I saw that alot of actors got partially their start on the show including Kaley Kuoco and Allyson Mack who I both like and they are imitators of B I think.

I had referenced the rose garden link to oval and woke up this morning with my parents believing they found an ancestral link 7 or 8 generations back on the French La Rose line.

I’m just a pawn in a counter intelligence program and like I said in a previous log, society has no conscience, I’m just someone they can use like a tool to get something they want. They're doing this thing where they are doing old style mental torture and harassment. They blanket my envirnment with all people harassing and depressing me all white women removed from environment or wearing harassment colors and there will be 1 lone latina woman they call Yessenia and say "Yessenia's into you." I personally think this is because I questioned Robert Kennedy Jr ascension and covid narrative implications of NIH study he just bombed with and there’s no conversation about as I wrote about in other logs.

7/28

Health log 1800 calories 5k steps at 9am. finished at 14k steps and 2000 calories

Thought log:

In After Disclosure Dolan and Zabel talk about ARV or alien reproduction vehicles. And vehicles that go light speed. They also discuss alien abductions and military abductions. Supposedly according to Greer the military is paralleling alien abductions with psyops military abductions too with more negative elements. I remembered this morning going to highschool and it being a big change for me, when it became clear I wasn’t going to make the basketball team all of a sudden the only thing I loved to do and thought I was good at I wasnt going to do anymore and I had to become this social being in this immature teenage world, I was playing a brutal sport I knew nothing about while my body changed and hormones were going. I still wasn’t interested in school very much. I took honors English but I didn’t really understand the Greek literature of Homer when I read it at home. My teacher would explain it and read it in class and this I liked because they were knowledgable, so I enjoyed that. I didn’t really like any class until honors civ in 10th grade. I liked English class a little then the other classes I liked earth science, and govt history, finally humanities. I aimed for 3.0 my sister had aimed for 4.0 and that seemed too undoable for me, but I did finally land a 4.0 in senior year once college was on the horizon. Light was at the end of the tunnel and it dawned on me that there were transactionally open doors and benefits to higher grades. I ended up choosing San Francisco state, because I couldn’t get into a UC. I went there and didn’t mesh with my roommates. My grandma was in hospital. I got homesick and I decided to go home to a community college to try to improve my gpa. This worked out. I got into UC Irvine. Got into transfer housing, got along well with my house mates, enjoyed my major and most content. I got to play basketball regularly at a fancy gymnasium for students. More so my Jr year as I took 20 units and worked Sr year because I got convinced somehow being busy was the respectable thing a college student does. But eventually got depressed when A left and by second year I burned out. Counter intel had seemingly revealed itself to me by people weird with guys stalking me online and such.

They make it impossible to function socially in society and then ridicule you for not functioning or tell you how pathetic you are for not functioning. They destroy your life and then present themselves as your opportunity. They try to convince you that society should be monitoring your sex habits. They act like this is normal. I already had decided that I don't want to deal with people and decided that I was going to give society the silent treatment except existing relationships and some family. And now with the voices it just reminds me how these people made my life a living hell for a decade and they want to just act like that's no big deal. In a report or segment on cnn which is included in an earlier log, a reporter reported that victims of longstanding programs in the soviet union and that was reported with havannah syndrome victims of hearing voices or commands. I'm currently being mentally tortured by a weapon that is described in this very mainstream report. The reporters say "this is fascinating" but the behavior of not addressing or following up on the glaring implications of the report is so nonchalant. Like they are just intellectually bullying people by gaslighting them with stupidity. And the public takes this as an order that this is the behavior that is expected.

7/27

Health log

I plan to walk 14 k steps no matter the voices today eat 1800 calories. I’ve tried to wait them out. 1900 calories 12 k steps at 4 pm got to 14 k finished at 1950 calories.

Thought log.

I don’t want to leave California unless all my family would decide to. I like the sunny weather, the natural settings like ocean, or mountains, the cultural places, the Mexican food, the way you can be casual or how it gets glamorous on occasion or sometimes(even if it rarely involves me) I like that people have things to do besides science and drugs, even if that is also done. I like that arts and entertainment have a big base here. I like open mindedness. I learned in Norse Mythology book that Vikings had almost androgynous facial features with men having effeminate facial features and women having masculine. I feel that some of my facial features are effeminate and my grandmas name Higgins literally means Viking, so maybe that’s why. In Homo Deus, Harari writes that what people 1 thousand years ago thought was the sole purpose of their society is today meaningless to us. I find that fact to be fascinating.

I’ve discussed previously synchronization of Lincoln’s first wife Ann Rutledge singing a song written by a Joseph hart about vanity and how monarch uses this kid Joe lacravain from my schooldays as a nemesis who went to my highschool hart high school. Well I think Lincoln and those surrounding him were dogging me through time or he was surrounded by time travel cult trying to get him to commit suicide. I think Ann Rutledge is supposed to be A and Mary Todd is supposed to be B. Haven’t read all the way through but judging by some of the content and synchronicity in dramatics I think this is a parallel.

I want to get a book on Sam Adams but I don’t know if he is like some god of the American revolution and if I think a critical thought if some cult will retaliate. I don't think I'd want to move to a state that hasn't been Democrat for the past 10 years. And I know that there is manipulation in Divide and red states have positive qualities, but I just see numerous negatives that are too much for me starting with Abortion and theocracy. Monarch has consistently told me that nobody is going to take me seriously until my physiognomy is in order

I started Shakespeares Messiah, atwills follow up to Caesar’s messiah

7/26

thought log

I was discussing with my dad the other day that being a gas station clerk might be a doable job or nice job for me. And then I laughed to myself that I would be close to the Lotto machine and I'd be spending all my money on the lotto like some comedic gambling addict character. But then we discussed how you get robbed or shot as a gas station clerk. Then this morning there was a report of a gas station clerk being shot. And a guy being interviewed on the news was a Steve Lucero. Steve is my alias for occupy news and they refer to me as steve alot. Also Lucero is the name of a band and my family knew a guy named Ron Lucero. One of the guys ar the Nonrpofit house building org I worked at in San Diego was going to a Lucero concert one time and I remember this for some reason. With Targeted Justice being denied at a lower court I was reminded by RFK Jr that he made all his money suing people for violations. ANd I thought like they want me to move to Michigan even have voices saying Obama says move to Michigan, when he lives in Cape cod but people in government supporting RFK and suhc won't reveal information for Targeted Individuals to receive restitution in court cases. Like I think I deserve some sort of payout for lots of reasons including how my body and life were destroyed. 1 of which is how content from my thoughts is pilfered and capitalized on without any sort of acknowledgement of me other than diagnosing me with a diseased brain and insider jokes. Sure i think some of what was taken was expanded upon and created thoughts or art that I could not so that benefitted humanity thus by extension myself in addition to the capitalizing. Although some didn't take everything and altered some like with Trump and such some politicl manipulations and gaslighting.

We can't keep living how we are living in industrialized socities or like humanity on earth and have the earth survive and we survive. It's like people are waiting for some revolution or genocide to change things. I think it's going to take good democratic leadership and that the clownshow disaster leadership manipulation thing is just setting us back. Like it doesn't work and it isn't going to get us anywhere.

I saw this thing called niche and it kept rating Irvine neighborhoods as best neighborhoods to live in California and I thought I guess because it has nice schools it’d be nice to raise a family to give them that advantage, but then I questioned whether education provides advantages, like I was tortured for my education. If I had been uneducated and been a truck driver I might be better off.

On pg 107 of Monarch New Phoenix Program. Thomas writes “Cointelpro was the counterintelligence program primarily run by the FBI as a covert action program against dissidents. The use of infiltration, psychological warfare, harassment through the legal system, and the use of extralegal force and violence, including murder, probably began in the 1950s, and is now a permanent feature of US government.”

In exopolitics salla writes that China was brought into UN as a leader and given sphere of influence to control ET artifacts and technology with other world powers. Cold War again being used as cover. Read about Bacons rebellion in The New Jim Crow and can’t help but think the system of priveledges afforded poor whites to subvert alliances with black slaves is today afforded to people of color to subvert alliances with mind control dissident slaves activists whistleblowers or independent thinkers.

7/25

Thought Log.

I'm sick of being manipulated into being more conservative or more liberal or live a way other people want me to live or thinking how other people want me to think or doing what other people want me to do. I looked up best neighborhoods to live in California for a Social Democrat but like the terminology is not used. People have been brow beaten into communist, liberal, democrat. It's like people are constantly saying we should have universal or medicare for all, housing and free education like they have in Social Democracies around the world yet there's nobody identifying as social democrats here. I find that really weird. I'm not moving to the south, the people may be friendly and they move at relaxing pace, but they have hurricanes. flooding, tornados leftover kkk and no reproductive rights. Like Nashville supposedly is Liberal, but they are in a massively red state and that rules the day. I'm not allowed to say this, but I am waiting for the right person to come along and i realize that may never happen and that the program im under interferes with this happening by flooding and limiting my social standing and personal space attrieval. Also I'm not allowed to get into a good physical, financial, emotional and mental space.

Read an article from the Time Magazine in 1951 that discussed socialism in Europe and how they were bulwarks against soviet communism. And how the British and Scandinavians were solidly socialist or social democracies. Maybe this is why british people like me or blonde people treat me nice. Although A seemed to be influenced by a crowd that disliked me. Or at least in my head i imagined so. I liked britain when I was there though. It felt refreshing to be somewhere culturally refined compared to the U.S and polite at least London, then Later Edinburgh seemed really calm for a city like people seemed relaxed a bit. Also pubs and such were homy. The voices like to call me Slobodan for Slobodan milosovic who looks like a cross of my Grandpa on my mom's side and my dad's cousins. I was looking up house in Maryland and it was 6 bedroom at 500 +k which in event of move could be nice to house a bunch of people until they get settled. It was in Beltsville MD which is a suburb of DC. Saw that Scarsdale floods but not in an extreme way. It was during a hurricane they had a flood so if i lived there i'd evacuate.

Appearently Laguna Beach should be added to places that are dream neighborhoods for me because it was ranked with Compton and Inglewood as most liberal cities in California. It has an art scene i've always just pictured it as on the dumber side of partying rich scene. Also there's some conservative with money. My family would not move to Compton or Inglewood. In a different political climate i would consider Inglewood because it's being built up is in a nice location and has good weather. Probably good investment. I looked up Ann Arbor some more. It has a lot of appearently nice qualities. Its the most educated city in the country which could be great to be around educated people however they may be abusive scientists or martialized, and also you will have to compete with them all for jobs. But I guess that's the tradeoff makes for a nice vibe appearently according to reports. Its also considerably affordable compared to here. Like you could buy two houses for the price of the sale of this house. And I think be paid off mostly. So the job market is supposed to be good, but I think our family if moved would rely on education and University so not necessarily diverse, but if a house is paid off the big pay job isn't the as important but still important. Average pay is 60 higher pay is 80 and 25 percent mark is 40. My uncle Pat lived there and worked at the University he said it was the happiest time of his life. It's a 20 minute city meaning you can get from one end to the other in 20 minutes. Has a good hospital and good schools. Ranked 6th in nation as best places to raise a family.

Looked up DC Maryland area and that may be more fruitful for Job Market more cultural places things to do and on east coast more places to drive to train to better weather but similar. , but more crime hospitals aren't rated well and more seriousness I imagine at least that was my brief judgement of everyone I saw when I visited years ago, but DC is like a clown show these days so I don't know how much of the seriousness is real. property is cheaper in some instances you could also swap 1 for 2 in a couple suburbs, but schools aren't as good. They started a fire because I’m eating some chicken and cheese. I’m not exercising either. Also I discussed with my dad that small amount of flooding is potentially safer than breathing a bunch of smoke all the time from fires. So they are trying to run me out of California like a slave being recolonized to Liberia like state.

7/24

They want to torture me 14 of 16 waking hours and read and exercise in between. They call me lazy for not doing so. Because the Monarch voices are harassing me and Monarch is generally obsessive in trying to find me a partner and keep saying you're "hella celibate" i thought this I know that I like A or B but there are about 13 or so other women that I have seen 2 or more times or spent time around that I think I generally like or would possibly like. I think they all have similar energetic qualities and they generally seem nice and are attractive. If Monarch would get out of my life and let me take care of myself in peace I could conceivably get to a space mentally and physically and emotionally to attract someone like these 15 people or A or B i just say them because monarch is likely not going anywhere and indicates 1 will show up one day which i likely will be so damaged that it doesn't matter. However with voices I can't pursue anything with any woman. ANd in general I am undateable for a host of other reasons that are related to Monarch's involvement in my life.

Due to being a brain control research subject I’ve never been good at bonding with anyone besides a few people and my family and this is likely also a contributing factor to being tested on. I’ll likely die isolated and alone and be isolated and alone due to my being disabled socially or affected socially by this program. Additionally being diagnosed and programmed by a covert organization with schizophrenia I lost the only thing I had in this world which was most friends and family. If they had their way I’d be homeless and die on street. I don’t even get the friendship of my own brain one of the last things I possessed.

There’s a lot of different kinds of Christian churches and I suspect some are fronts for pagan gods. They keep saying “move to Berkeley” when I see dopplegangar of B. I don’t think she lives anywhere near there and also Berkeley is like a big prison experiment or something. I think I was drawing conclusions about the possibility of going back to work and just coming to realization that I am brain damaged don’t have skilllset anymore to work in brain experiment social science prison experiment cointelpro targeting. I came across jobs that 12 years ago I would have been more confident in society and in myself and my competence to do. But I don’t feel competent or confident in myself or society anymore. And I was drawing conclusions that a lot of ducks would have to line up to foresee having a romantic partner and so I was just realizing those ducks aren’t going to lineup. And so Monarch decided just to torture me like trash to reprogram me or punish me because I became useless to them, so they treated me like useless trash.

I think that it’s likely I will never be able to support a family so that eliminates partners, but also that presents another problem because by not supporting family or finding someone who doesn’t want a family or kids there is likely going to be other expectations that I would not meet about lifestyle and such. So I thought I could just read more and focus on reading thought and writing and that something would emerge in which I can turn it into something worth reading or something, If i could live in a house in Westwood or Pasadena. I think I might like the physical environment in a home in Pasadena which may offer some creative benefit being peaceful and comfortable, but I don't know that people in Pasadena would like me all that much and I might experience indifference or hostility. If I lived in Westwood I think that there's more liberal minded people and I may be more accepted with a Univeristy learning there. Of course I may be subject to prison experiments and such. But i would be by indoor pool, Ocean, restaurants, cultural places although Pasadena has some of that too. weather would be better in Westwood and I'd be close to federal building to protest. Of course it's a younger trendier place and I'm neither of these so I would somewhat be a bit out of place. I desire to live in a safe nice neighborhood where Social Democrats are accepted, people have open minds with proximity to cultural places and events. I also like bodies of water or ocean for weather and natural positivity.

Some basic problems i have with finding a romantic partner is whether our personalities are compatible and have chemistry, a plus would be intellectual stimulation, but i don't want to bring someone into our circle that will try to do or cause psycho drama and such i want someone who respects harmony and peace. I also don't want to bring someone into my space that is part of an organization manipulating me to be more conservative and i think i feel the same way about someone trying to manipulate me to be more liberal. I don't expect someone to think exactly like me so like its not like i don't want to be challenged in thought ever but as organic thoughts not agenda driven motive for control and manipulation. And i'd want someone who'd be comfortable eventually living with my family because they took care of me so i want to take care of them. These are just a few ducks i want to line up. I also want someone who will treat me like im sane and not diseased and can't discern reality and accepts my mind as being independent and at this point believer in Social Democracy they can think differently i just don't want to be manipulated into different beliefs like a monkey experiment.. It's kind of a delicate balance I'd need I think like i think I'd need to be the passive one and they be the strong one who speaks alot and can still enjoy quiet and has emotional intelligence to exist harmoniously and functionally. I don't know how head strong Im supposed to be in life. I don't think I would function with a passive person. That doesn't mean violent person. I don;t want a martial law person or UFC thing.

As I look back on college I suspect this attractive dancer named Julie in my global cultures major was like maybe a plant like they were trying to seduce me to initiate with her because she was to play role of Julia in 1984. She was like Taylor made for me to be attracted to. Also there was this really intelligent woman in one of my classes that looked like this girl in my elementary school that all the boys were crazy about.

7/23

Remaining thoughts today:

I likely won't find another network Blue Sky is invite only so I don't foresee being invited anywhere by people in society. I'm basically resigned to being tortured in silence. Eventually Musk is going to delete inactive accounts so the record of me will be eliminated. Threads is only a phone app as far as I can tell and that's sorta fruitless for me. So all that's left is my book and this blogger accounts and thought log

They keep saying this woman’s name and saying they’re into you. And like I recognized this lady liked me years ago, but I wasn’t into her. If I was really into myself or loved myself a lot I would have been acccepting of this woman but like I don’t think I want to be with someone I’m not into just because they’re into me…They're torturing me with voices because I ate some strawberries and cheese

Society has destroyed my life and to top it off they decided to torture me for fun. Right now they are saying “learn to f&ck me” in womens and men’s voices in response to various thoughts I have to disapprove of my thoughts because they know i don’t want to do sex training with their chosen gangstalker women that I don’t like and am not attracted to. They also know it reminds me of trauma of whole society participating for years conducting my mind control operation. Due to this I don’t like use of the f word anymore.

The mind controllers sit on a technological throne invading the church of my mind. They are like a royalty class of people and have reinstated monarchical rule over me. They somehow sell this to people as revolutionary relationship calling it the hive mind and such. But it’s just a class of people being treated like royalty raping pillaging and terrorizing lower class of people.

thoughtlog:

I am leaving twitter. I know that X can often times refer to Satan so here is a billionaire, richest man in the world chipping peoples brains and so I think I should find another social network. Like I don't trust that its not some symbolic reference to conducting ritual abuse on people who put out tweets and such which could have already been being done. Plus he's sort of redone the algorythms and such. So I will just post the pinned tweets here because I felt they were useful. Perhaps Elon is trying to run me out and eliminate my speech but I don't know. So here were some thoughts or pinned tweet thread I hadL

When there’s duplicity manipulation you ask what is scope of manipulation duplicity, like if there’s something that you become aware of was it intended you become aware of it? Like when people draw up war plans I know they factor in conclusions that will be drawn by populations.

It doesn’t matter how much evidence is in the public domain to the contrary people will just play stupid that schizophrenia hearing is caused by bad actors with technological advancements and no appeals to people of this country’s conscience will make the slightest difference. Because they have none

I assessed how this program ruined my life and their response was not any conscience but to torture me like a piece of trash It is hopeless appealing to society’s conscience or trying to raise consciousness . This is why I don’t want to lead such a group of people in any capacity

If I ever had a kid I fear they would think I am crazy diseased or insane or be embarrassed by me. With a boy I fear they would be ridiculed and I don’t know what it’s like being a kid today like there’s so much violence I feel for a boy it’d be hard traversing that. Then eventually they’d be targeted like this and I know they’d have an independent being and mind of their own but it’d be eventually seized by AI generational targeting

The problem with the military industrial complex is they turned the world into a catch 22 it has been made through violent and psych war a mafia prison planet.

What I like about the idea of capitalism is that u can conceivably have some choice autonomy and a piece of property but I don’t like that we all become production machines competing with each other for essential resources guided accumulating wealth for rich people

society takes work there's some crossover appeal of successful hard work paying off into merit as controllers capital in society, but that's not necessarily descriptive of how system works and it ignores people as human beings deserving of basic dignity

Also people who produce alot shouldn't necessarily dictate economy which is the obvious problem

Washington Post excerpt below is one of most significant pieces of evidence that story of a genetic cause for voice hearing and 'schizophrenia' is a complete lie. The Air Force admits they have technological weaponry that transmits words and phrases into the heads of a person.

People say in response to this eyewitness account and evidence as to how Echelon reads your mind: " I don't see it that way" "It's not my reality"

ECHELON Signals Intelligence Systems: Invasive Surveillance, Unauthorized Medical Device, Environmental Hazard, and Biological Weapon (logicismyfriend.com)

CNN discussing how weapon producing Havana Syndrome also produced messages and voices in the head just like schizophrenics describe

(18) CNN journalist admits that US diplomats were hit with v2k acoustic torture attacks in Cuba! - YouTube

Why do we as humans accept a society that requires poor workers or poor people period to function at a modicum of pleasentry

Warped beliefs or beliefs that lead to warped behavior by general society 1. abuse makes the person stronger 2. survival of the fittest 3. Privacy is old world 4. sacrifice for the greater good or God . 5. be a part of something bigger than yourself. 6. rule by mob majority rules

“Witnessing the horrors of slavery drilled into poor white workers that things could be worse, and American freedom became broadly defined as opposite of bondage. This had the effect of making “all non slavery appear as freedom,” as the economic historian Stanley Engerman has

written. It was a freedom that that understood what it was against but not what it was for, a malnourished kind of freedom that kept you out of chains but did not provide bread or shelter or a means to get ahead. It was a definition of freedom far too easily satisfied, a freedom ready with justifications and rationalizations as to why some were allowed to live like gods while others were cast into misery and poverty…”- Mathew Desmond

i think my priorities for voting are tied at the top between liberty , food and housing for homeless here and in the world, healthcare and peace. Freedom of mobility is attached to liberty , but that may be tiered as well with freedom to think freely at top of that. And cleanwater is probably there as well. That doesn't mean I don't value other issues. But these, I tend to prioritize. Environment is up there as well so some sort of setup that doesn’t see planet as infinite resource so life continues through the age of stars Then what? can we learn to create stars?

We should really be working 3-4 days a week 5-6 hours a day. We consume many unnecessary bad for u things because we r condition in survive mass produce mass consume system. Everyone who’s able could be employed and trained to share work load on necessary or worthwhile endeavors

There's 10s of thousands of people online describing being subject to gangstalking, mind reading, ' biotech directed energy weapons and synthetic telepathy. The corporate owned newspapers like the New York Times say they are all experiencing a "mass delusion."

A rich billionaire or corporation can go anywhere it wants in the world. It can buy up resources, bribe governments(lawlessly or through legalized lobbying) even overthrow democratically elected governments and install dictators so they can exploit poor people. Yet, if a countrynationalizes a resource, or if a poor person moves internationally they become criminalized and fed off of by the dominant society, while they live as a permanent underclass in society.

Journalist Mark Zaid claiming 10-12 agents coming forward in Miami and DC are tip of iceberg for domestic incidents of what National Academy of Sciences says is likely electromagnetic pulse weapon attack:FBI Agents In The U.S. Report Symptoms Of Mystery Syndrome (scrippsnews.com)

We need to cement human rights like housing, food, clean water, medical care, living wage jobs as amendments to constitution

A suppressed 2006 academic Paper at Sonoma State University. Done by Peter Phillips, Lew Brown and Bridget Thornton Sonoma State University Project Censored Media Freedom Foundation(55) US Electromagnetic Weapons and Human Rights | Lew Brown - Academia.edu

The govt threatened my life in staged car attack on freeway while I engaged in anti war activism Then put me in a counter intel operation and used microwave voices to discredit me drive me insane while taking me as some slave. Instead of acknowledging this Im treated as insane

It’s just false that “growth doesn’t happen in your comfort zone.” Nature nourishes for growth pretty regularly and as far as humanity goes, the whole point of civilization is to provide comfort in order that humanity grows

I didn't even know about this law, but here it is trying to pass laws legalizing thought surveillance. I guess its hidden in the thousands of pages of legislation passed in bills or something. Obama-Biden administration legalized 'neurological surveillance' after Trump's election - LifeSite (lifesitenews.com)

Learning how many ancient temple and pyramid sites around the world line up to the Pleiades (a greek name) and that they share symbology of a "Staff God," known in the Americas as Viracocha. It makes me wonder if the word Play in english and coach is a reference connected at all

I've been interested in this topic for 12 years and this is the first I've seen of this lecture. I don't know what to make of that except to think that it is being repressed with overload of information.

(18) Robert Naeslund: The Human Brain Project - YouTube

Modern day America is a bunch of people who think casino owners deserve to be billionaires because they tricked people into giving them money but immigrants don’t deserve citizenship even as they break their backs picking our food for almost no wages

Very Interesting Document discussed by Robert Naelund in 2011, the document is from 2005. Ethical aspects of ICT implants in the human body:ec.europa.eu/commission/presscorner/detail/en/MEMO_05_97

I don't need or want equal material goods as everybody in society. I think people need basic material goods to have dignity, housing, food, medicine, clean water, arts, entertainment, access to recreation, transportation and need not be measured like robots and overworked.

7/22

Health log

Thoughtlog

When you are schizophrenic you are like society’s pet monkey and experimental monkey prop piece for political organizations. People are aggrieved by slavery and genocide in the 1800s and are silent and support genocide and mind control today in 2023. And that’s why I say they are little Nazis with their grievance. The moment everyone else believes my life is MY blessing then it will be so. The voices are going to turn me into Jorge Ramos and Hurley in Lost.

I remember reading or hearing a while back that the physics or science they teach at universities is all a false prism that they brainwash or keep people occupied with or it dead ends and the real physics is blackops and such. Also data driven stuff is only good if the data is based on a real reality.

They have a picture of b dopplegangar with orange heart wearing black which means I need to be a skinny protestor and she will meet me. It’s just stupid I don’t know like why are people dumb? B is likely gone and wouldn’t recognize me nor want any part of me. I’m undateable. And I don’t like society. The voices also say Ruth Fowler comments on my thoughts and is interested in what I say. Because I recognize her from occupy.

Tonight the voices want to me to Move to Florida. They've wanted to move me to Michigan in past couple days and Berkely. I would never go to Florida. Their leading politicians declare it unsafe for socialists and communists of which I'm not necessarily one but I'm likely socialist in the Scandinavian sense or Social Democrat but according to a republican if you want any sort of social safety net you are a socialist. Also I don't want to deal with the severity of their hurricanes. Michigan is too cold to me and I don't really like Lakes all that much plus they did that FBI kidnap the governor thing. Now the voices say "learn to negotiate" "you're hella jarvis" like they are making me move and such.

I had written but it got erased that one of the things I was alluding to in reference to cultural production of the Iraq war and U.S barbarity in middle east or oppression in middle east for 60 years has always been supposed or broadcast openly by U.S officials as being done to protect Israel or for the benefit of Israel. This is like bashing people in the head with a baseball bat and then telling them i do for this guy right here see him if you want this to stop you need to eliminate him or blame him. They did this thing where they tried to change the personification of a woman they say all the time in my head “yessenia” the woman they followed me with today was considerably more attractive. I don’t know if they are trying to reorder history or if they are reprogramming me. They also tried humiliating and angering me today they made blonde women or white women angry

7/21

Health log:

thought log:

Wasserman Schultz and Kennedy are both suppressing discussion of the NIH Study and the implications of whether a bioweapon is responsible for the discrepancies. Some sophisticated group would seemingly account for such a study becoming public and certain groups being blamed in their plan to manipulate the world with biowar. I have discussed this in previous logs. I think I include something in the book regarding my thoughts on 9/11. I view it along similar lines as I’m viewing covid. That sophisticated govt group left clues behind to implicate govt I believe the wmd lie is also same tactic. I think they maybe were creating cultural production to create doubt about WWII and vilification if nazi germany. Including lies like Pearl Harbor. I also think they used public knowledge of Soviet spymasters and such in homeland security and lies about 9/11 that would eventually become public knowledge as intelligence tests and to sow doubt in American institutions. As well as sow doubt in opposition to dictators perhaps even use Iraq as parallel to nazi germany as a way to turn Germany into victim. I don’t know how Kennedy factors into all this perhaps it is commentary on reason science vs superstition and Kennedy is the shadow govt head. And now there is a resurgence of shadow govt taking over jfk assassination coup govt covid 19 and 9/11 the numbers are related and I think this is designed

If we get pushed out of California two nice places that seem nice are DC Suburbs and NYC SUburbs and conceivably if we combined house holds we could pull it off. Or Bowie Maryland where there's not much to do is cheaper. I was reading the log back around 7/10 7/11 and the voices subsided. They keep saying otherwise "apprecia8 ""polish your C*ck" "negoti8" or other invasive domineering dehumanizing commands.

If we combine households Bethesda and Greensbraugh or Scarsdale seem idealic but like I say don't know if that is a Matrix invite. I actually don't want to leave I just see some writing on the wall a bit. They earlier were flashing image of one of those perfect size ratio blonde women they follow me with and then allude to Hayden Pettitiere with the pretty friendly sane looking faces that give positive thoughts. They say she's my soul mate and that she is a lawyer so I said fine whatever I guess if she wants to take my case or advise a law firm that she would get a nice chunk of it. I wanted to swim today but as soon as I walked outside voices were thrashing my mind. So I will have to do some walking. The logs are not as fruitful or interesting to me at least during the voice attacks. It cripples my mind. I can't read much. The voices are trying to program me by calling me "Lasagna" this is a common theme they use they'll have people make lasagna to say I am lazy and such for not working or not exercising enough or hard enough or writing enough and such. When I worked I never complained about any of my jobs. I only didn't like food service at the theme park because of lack of training and they harassed me in their harassment videos defamed me. I am now as I said that disabled and brain damaged I am subject to an organized harassment on jobs mobbing me and such. People are hostile and controlling toward me violate me and such. I didn't have the most difficult jobs construction maybe most physically demanding, but I prefer that to working at a middle school, which besides not being trained and moved around at food service was most difficult.

I also in reference to Iraq war or war in middle east that for 60 years any misdeed or barbarity the United States took it would broadcast around the world that it did so on behalf of Israel. So like every act of oppression and atrocity taken was then said you see this guy right here its for him. This is like hitting a person with a baseball bat and then saying I did it for this guy so that's who you should want to eliminate.

Tonight the voices want to me to Move to Florida. They've wanted to move me to Michigan in past couple days. I would never go to Florida. Their leading politicians declare it unsafe for socialists and communists of which I'm not necessarily one but I'm likely socialist in the Scandinavian sense or Social Democrat but according to a republican if you want any sort of social safety net you are a socialist. Also I don't want to deal with the severity of their hurricanes. Michigan is too cold to me and I don't really like Lakes all that much plus they did that FBI kidnap the governor thing. Now the voices say "learn to negotiate" "you're hella jarvis" like they are making me move and such.

7/20

If I could live anywhere I'd live in Pacific Palisades or close to UCLA Medical Center because it’s the best hospital. Or I'd live in La Jolla/ near there because they have the best 2 hospitals in San Diego. They had Hayden petitierre say I was going to die in 10 days and to keep up the good work in my head. They know that I was guilty attracted to her as a youngster because she was 4 years younger. Reading in Monarch New Phoenix program about NBC program The Other Side from 1995 in which Psi Tech associate Ed Dames stated the government could insert thoughts into peoples brains. A little later Matshal Thomas gives synopses of 1984 brave new world and Marshal Macluhan. It would seem meme culture is the fruition of maelstrom.

People who think they should have access to my brain and influence my thoughts are sick people. In Homo Deus, Harari is talking about how individual humans think there’s something special about them and this isn’t so, I can’t help but think this general intellectual fodder is used to undermine general cultural practice of respecting human beings and their individual rights and lives. In AD After Disclosure Zabel and Dolan discuss alien abductions and efforts to allegedly take souls or interest in souls. My thoughts are that aliens might have studied us and know we are believers in souls and they think this would be funny or interesting to experiment on us with this soul content. If I wrote a book on “finding your purpose” I would just write about being free, to be alive and treating others well. Somehow I’d have to elaborate on this and of course how you can find this in the system. Then I’d be a millionaire. If well written. I’ve never read his book but maybe I could even have a mega church like Rick Warren and milk high level political connections.

They want me sometimes to move to Italy. I’d be like the ugliest guy in Italy I’d be disabled wouldn’t speak the language know nothing of their politics except gladio. Voices keep saying move to Berkeley had depressing domineering stimulus that they blanket environment with removed all attractive women sent in young girls and said “negoti8” I think they were teenagers hard to tell. Had obnoxious guys in yellow usc shirt to say socal is crazy. They are trying to make it depressing so I think about moving. They destroy your life then treat you like monkey shit or are like “do this monkey slave do that monkey slave think this monkey slave think that monkey slave” said Asa is in love with it had teenage philipinos or Pacific islanders. Asa was this girl I danced with in 8th grade dance I didn’t really like her very much she was Asian or Pacific Islander. They had this kid weightlifting he looked like 7th grader or something with an old fat guy. I think the kid represented me and such. Anyways to drive me crazy create narrative etc about reality and life.

America is crazy you are dealing between totalitarian polarities. Like you have the 1776 obsessive who don’t want to leave the 1700s and we are headed to a nazi dystopia as the legacy of 1776 like it’s now a precursor for fascist dystopia because the 1776 crowd wants to remain stagnant and deal with all problems through a 1700 lense like rather than evolving and having 1776 be a precursor for responding systematically to changing perceptions of humanity and dignity. They are trashing the American revolution by allowing it to turn into an unresponsive fascist dystopia. Then you have like the younger generation championing criminalization of misgendering and such and this pushes people into 1776 obsessive right.it’s like different players moving chairs around but using politics in a similar way to Nazis like Nazis were an aggrieved populace from atrocities of ww1 and unfairness they then responded to this by villafying Jews as traitors and turned this into motivation to create a dictatorship and go after their “enemy”

I’m not sure what my face looks like but women with intelligent, experienced faces either past life or this life are attractive to me

I’ll probably never speak to anybody in society again except business purposes and existing social family purposes.

While they are following me around with women I’m not attracted to and teenage girls I’m pretty sure, they are saying “negoti8” “learn to f!ck me” “you’re hella celebate” and generally driving me crazy then sometimes there will be attractive women to me and they say belittling things and such harass me. Again treating me like monkey shit or monkey slave

I find the whole dysfunctional going back n forth between Kennedy and committee and media is hiding the issue of what the implications of Kennedy's statement is and he is denying what he said so there is no conversation about it. Like the elephant in the room is the NIH study. So like why are certain races affected more than others with regards to COvid and if it is due to it being a race based bioweapon what is the motive for releasing such a weapon. Like I have said before this is alot like 9/11 and so it would seem that the organization in the Chinese and American government would be sophisticated enough to account for the implications of studies being done in race based bioweapon with those eventually becoming public and that there would be discernable identified races who were affected at various levels. So it would follow that this sophisticated organization would assume that certain people would be held politically accountable or blamed for the deed. So this raises the specter of possible duplicity or false flag. In fact no organization took credit for the deed and there is already demonstratable duplicity involved so duplicity is a tactic with this that is undeniable.

In response to sharing these thoughts I am being mentally tortured with Cell Towers and Synthetic Telepathy voices 24 7 and inundated with sex trafficking directives and domineering physical stimulus and deprivation.

My sister said something that the Republicans are interested in Kennedy running getting people excited and then eventually siphoning votes from that contingency in general. I agree that's their motive with Kennedy I believe.

They keep sending these like perfect size blonde women with pretty faces or intelligent faces soft faces and such. I'm probably predisposd to be attracted to these Hayden Pettitiere type blonde women because I am part viking. Its like written in me to be attracted to them to probably keep a percentage probability that humanity remains diverse or something. There's also a type of women often blonde that have experienced intelligent faces that I am attracted to predispositionally.

7/19

Health log

I was supposed to have a good health excercise run during this summer to try to get into shape and Monarch decided to sabotage it. Ate Pasta pork unfortunately, cottage cheese berries walnuts pistachio yogurt a plain bagel some shreded cheese. About 1900 calories I think I lost some water weight on scale I'm gonna start weighing in 5 am again and fasting til then.

Thought Log

I'm having a hard time reading right now because of the voices. Community is not supposed to be some arduous difficult or unattainable thing. Its made that way by bad faith mental health system and intel agencies and cult psych game players. All these things create a sociopathic culture and people. The voices are making me anxious and to release stress I am eating. Was reminded of a Government declassified document from 1998 which described a weapon system or technology to beam voices into people's heads to mimic Schizophrenia. Additionally, I was attempting to redo a notation from Chapter three and came across the article and video on Daily Star UK which showed a group of Iraqis laying down and faking being victims of a car bombing. The next notation I used in the chapter three was an article describing Pentagon Spokeperson John Kirby in a press conference declare that Russia was going to start the Ukraine War with a false flag event that was going to use fake victims, fake mourner, fake explosions and fake corpses as pretext to invade. So for reading these articles and discussing them you can become diagnosed as schizophrenic and then harassed by mobbing sociopathic public directed by Fusion Centers while being hit with the weapon described in 1998 government document torturing you with voices in your head.

It doesn't really make sense geopolitically that China would deploy a bio weapon virus that is discernably designed to kill off mostly old and sick black and Caucasians more significantly. Like they are militarily going to eliminate elderly and sick people in Africa Europe and United states right before WWIII or in order to start it with the West? I read a Newsweek poll that showed 44 percent of the millennials questioned were for criminalizing the misgendering of someone. And I am all for people being identified however they want to be identified and being relatively respected I say relatively because some things like women's sports I don't think should be taken over by transwomen, however most other instances fine be identified however. But I don't understand the desire to criminalize and to me this seems to reveal that the trans movement is a cover for a police state or fascist movement. I don't really understand the uber wealthy obsession with fancy Yachts like they'll spend 400 million dollars on the things and i just don't get it or how that is worth it.

I have this stereotype i do in my head in which I see an attractive latina woman and I assume they want a man with money. With blonde women I do this 50 50 time. like I assume they want high functioning or money. This is maybe why they have Salma HAyek and Lauren Sanchez with billionaires. Was going to buy a book on Synchronicity but there are so many I don't know what to buy. Maybe women like dogs so much because they get more love out of them then they do their family or partner. Monarch sabotaged our plans to be in Hawaii for Christmas.

The UN came out with a declaration that developments in neuro technology threatens freedom of thought. They cite chips. What I include in the book is a lecture by Robert Naselund that cites New York Times in 60s and 70s and Naselund describes a beginning of as early as 1948 in which hospitals around world began chipping people with brain implants and they would be experimented on in their homes without ever knowing. He goes on to cite NY times articles from 60s describing a future of push button people. Naselund then states that new technology bypasses implants. And what is stated by Bezos security gaurd and Security Industry Specialist whistleblower Bryan kofron is that dna resonant frequency is now used in other words somebody obtains your dna and they have access to your brain remotely, which we know from public experiments can be thought decoded at University of Texas and elsewhere. Additionally what we know in public domain now as it was reported in New York Times is that DNA can be obtained from particles in the open air as you enter or leave a space. One professor called what is happening a free for all or “Wild West.”

The weapon system causing the voices in my head keeps saying "negoti8!" or Appreci8!" tell me people hate me then they harass me with attractive women and remove any postive stimulus. have obnoxious people surround me. I don't want to be at any protest because I don't like society. I am not a voice hearing slave or schizo slave. I think they want me to beg for the voices to go away and have my life back and stop being harassed, but this is them destroying your life and acting like they gave you something.

7/18

health log

cottage cheese blueberries walnuts, pistachio yogurt smoothie spinach, bagel cream cheese, dark chocholate. I plan to go to the gym today in a few hours. I think I can handle it today with voices. I'm still kinda pickin at meat in the evening as snacking which I don't want to do.

thought log

Still reading about cults this morning in Monarch The New Phoenix Program. Marshal Thomas discusses that the CIA took over closed loop systems in cults and they operate mind control out of these to hide what they do like free masons moonies, scientology etc. Targeted Justice declares that gangstalking is run by Fusion Centers. Anyways due to my experience in society I suspect RFK jr could being controlled and have a system propping him up managing him etc as part of a multiheaded hydra. And so he doesn't acknowledge if this is happening so it makes me think he's not telling the whole truth so that makes me think that He could be like the Mysterio character in Spiderman and that the virus is computer controlled etc. I hope he's not I may vote for him hoping he's not Mysterio. Of course I am preconditioned growing up with knowledge of history and the way this country has operated under false flags and manipulation in war since its founding. The Revolutionaries dressed up like native americans to throw out tea because they didn't want to pay a tax. all the way through 9/11

If I lived in LA my thoughts are that I would volunteer at the UN chapter and protest maybe contact Targeted Justice and see if I could protest at the Federal Building with connection to them or see if they have an la group, or maybe I would just do so independently. I suspect the TJ people are likely infiltrated how could any group not be If CIA can infiltrate Freeemasonry chances are they can infiltrate a Targeting org. So i see that they maybe or are sacrificial lambs similar to me as pawns in a counter intel op. I once told a friend that I wanted to start a people's intelligence network because I thought I could trust them and it turns out they work with schizophrenics now and never talked to me again. So I was likely wrong in that.

The US propped up hitler and then presented themselves as world saviors in defeating him at least in appearance so that’s the general history we are dealing with here. Learned about clever Hans a horse that could deduce answers to math problems through examining emotional expressions of humans. Han Solo could be reference to this.

I was reminded of falling asleep at the wheel 15 years ago on Father’s Day. I had spent all night moving a friend then traveled up for Father’s Day and back next day because I had work on Monday. I was too inexperienced to realize coffee and my will wouldn’t keep me awake for the trip home. I crashed into a wall and totaled my car. I slept at a dennys in San Clemente that was locally open before somehow getting home to San diego and going to work. they hide their assault and targeting of my brain behind this incident.

I had this thought today of getting fit and being an extra in a movie for extra cash and vanity selfishness of seeing myself looking nice in a movie for historical record of me physically. Hopefully it’d be a goood movie but beggars can’t be choosers in this rendition of reality. If I win the lotto I’ll basically attribute it to the Aliens or universe. I had said in a previous log that I don’t really want to order people around and am better being obedient in hierarchy, but also like anarchy because I wouldn’t be forced to do anything detrimental to others or for soulless purposes. Problem with this is unless you are moving up your being moved out due to cheaper younger people and cheaper turnover and you aren’t earning an income to make it in society. The voices say “learn to protest” again evidence of using my life like a pawn to further causes and such like a prop piece. They like to harasss me before going to the gym with fit people and such. Getting voices.

The way my mind works is that some politically motivated organization tied into American and Chinese government used a bioweapon virus to manipulate the world for some purpose. So I use the Italian phrase qui bono? Who benefits? Conceivably it would follow that this organization is very sophisticated and would factor in implications of studies done to pinpoint which races were effected and which weren’t. So seems obvious that they would factor in or calculate eventual backlash from this knowledge becoming public and that there would be some form of accountability. So happens that killing old and sick people aligns with nazi ideology and accountability for Jews and communists would lead to their benefit as well. Additionally money exited from small businesses and working class and went to a few rich people and corporations. I view 9/11 in a very similar manner.

Voices telling me to move to Michigan. Too cold and I don’t know they have functioning city. I guess if California Workers, citizens and activists want to make me their tortured voice hearing slave or be recolonized to some new Liberia state I will just pack up and leave. All they keep saying is "Apprecia8! to everything I see and read and think and then they remove all attractive women from my environment.

Because my mind works like this and I share its content, Cell Towers according to a Senior Darpa Scientist are used to send voices into my head to drive me crazy and punish me for my brain's ability to detect manipulation. And I am left destitute and labled as diseased and genetically inferior unable to discern reality.

7/17

Health log

I ate about 1900 calories the usua: cottage cheeseyoulgurt nuts fruit pasta veggie crumble smoothie. I thought that if I didn't go to the gym for a few days voices would subside. I don't like being harassed and pushed and dicked around at the gym, but I need to go. I need to get back into my excercises. I hope I don't respond to them they are trying to provoke me

Thought log

In Fingerprints of the Gods Graham Hancock states that "The Past though dry and dusty is rarely dumb. Sometimes it can speak with a passion." I found this to be an interesting statement. I can't imagine being in charge of anybody. That's why I like being obedient in a hierarchy, but I also like anarchy because nobody will have me do anything detrimental to others or for some soulless or sinister agenda. I thought a while back and maybe put it in a log that I should have been bigger because I could have been a security gaurd. I'm very aware I think at least and I think I would like providing protection if I were capable of that. Then I think well I'm actually lost in thought or daydreaming alot..Maybe I could have trained myself not to. Before I went to college I read science of coercion by Christopher Simpson or stimson.

A or B would be like dream partners for me but I don't think I'd be for them. Maybe even they were like taylor made or matched to me. I don't know. Voices back a bit. My other contact with women is just the gym women and trader joes women, but there's not much promise with that. I mentioned a minor crush on one of the trainers whom I believe they used to remind me of B and A as a combo but I'm not really interested in the trainers. I just go to the gym to exercise. Monarch just sends women in there. There's some attractive women but they go on their merry little way and I mine. It's not really a good place to meet people and such and mingle. Same with trader Joe's like am I going to be like "I saw you stock the cheese or select the cheese for your bag." Or "hey i notice you are blocking the yogurt." I don't really want to do online dating. And in fact as I think i've discussed previously I'm rather undatable and don't forsee myself being successful or an apt dating companion. For lots of reasons I don't think I really want to date anyone or don't see myself doing so. They had a picture of me and A kissing in disneyland paris. but Also like there would still likely need to be rekindling for A or B to work out which is i think doable for me at least. But this is maybe a problem because I am damaged. This is one of the effects of the abuse in this program I don't know that I have the capacity for loving relationships anymore.

In gym other day they had dopplegangar of Occupy woman give me an "i hate you" smile. I think I've seen her with a PHD now. They tried to set me up with her. I'm likely not cut from the same ilk, Because I don't really like society and by extension people all that much I don't know if I'd really want children like would I even like the child after Monarch turns them against me? I guess I would but of course as I think I've said in previous logs they would likely view me as insane or would be confronted with society treating me as insane or diseased to which they could be harassed for even if they viewed me as sane and discerning reality. Another reason I don't want a partner. They will treat me like a project or like a diseased crazy person. I'm a little weary of potentially trying to work in Hotels. 1 I don't know what I'm capable of and with Intel potentially responding to thoughts I have or share that they don't like by mobbing me out of a job and my book im reading how various hotel chains are tied into intelligence I don't know if I'd be secure in one. Sad because I like hospitality and even went into my major thinking perhaps bizarrely that Global Cultures would lend itself to hospitality jobs and interfacing with people.

I guess one of the things they do is turn you int beta programming mind control thing that’s not very confident in yourself as a person. In Norse mythology book I’m learning that the Norse Adam and Eve were named ask and emba. Which makes me wonder about intertemporality because Emma is a name they give b or Emily blunt for instance etc.

being targeted by counter intel massive state and disabled and single or alone about the only thing I’m interested in is family books and women, but I can’t be right for women and am not dateable so I am mostly interested in books. I’m in a different reality than family and friends my only friends I have are into music which is good and I find that agreeable even if I’m not very knowledgeable. I think I found what men in America are interested in: cryptocurrency, Donald Trump, communism, sports, ufos, podcasts that don’t typically garner my interest. Of these I lean toward implications of ufos aliens etc. ancient civ. Podcasts are still generally better than infotainment combative news, but I think it’s designed to send people to the podcasts. I sometimes go to movies. I like coffee sushi and burritos. I just started being pescatarian/ vegetarian. I had tried vegetarianism once before. I find I like conversing with women even though they don’t talk to me anymore. They usually have interesting info and perspective. I don’t like to consider romance with every woman I like because I like women friends. Monarch has interrupted this and beta programmed me. Tv people by design are trying to annoy me. I dreamed about Emily blunt liking me. Schizo programming makes you feel like anything is possible and you are relevant no matter how destitute boring and ugly you are. I know it’s not. I found this funny that my brain did this.

Marshal Thomas discussed various cults in New Phoenix Program today. I also had a similar thought about Elizabeth Olson as Emily blunt.. I learned that Vikings were involved or invaded Sicily maybe which could explain my dads blue eyes. This would mean that he potentially has Viking blood like the rest of us. I’m supposed to be Lewis capaldi and A is Emma Watson.

They had this woman I’m attracted to at Trader Joe’s pretend to look at me. In fact I don’t want to sound like Paris Hilton but she’s like the hottest woman I’ve seen over the years. I happen to know though that they are 22 so realistically that’s not really good for them. I also don’t know our personalities or how they’d be compatible. They also keep doing this like perfect ratio size blonde women with sane pretty faces. There were 2 today. 1 was more my age. I don’t know if older but she had like a timeless beauty to her.. she also looked at me. That’d probably be better, but I’m likely not successful and functioning enough for her she seemed high functioning.. they also had A dopplegangar pretend to be interested in me and an idea I had which I don’t want to say because it is stupid and would debase society maybe make Aor b hate me if I said it.

I thought of a real manipulative fantasy in which I get fit date Emily Blunt and we are in the tabloids all over the press then A or B get jealous and I call it quits with blunt and they become interested. B said appreci8! I’m not like this. I wouldn’t do that. I just cracked the joke to myself as an ugly non functioning undateable bachelor . Getting voices which is debilitating. I’m trying to walk 14k steps. I don’t want to be dicked or pushed around at gym. They like to say I’m like a dog going on a car ride. In fact they have dogs drive by looking out the window.

I read Caitlin johnstone article where she discusses that position of negotiation that executives take like with movie industry. They start by taking everything with massive bonuses and salaries, then you strike and they say we will come to the table if you have a “reasonable offer” so you make a reasonable offer and they respond by walking you down from there and giving you half the reasonable offer from their original takeall position.

I think some of the happiest I’ve been in life is drinking. Sometimes when a Hollywood movie strokes my ego when they aren't harassing me I think maybe they are like making fun of me still like saying haahaha this guy thinks he's so cool. Like so over the top. Perhaps they are trying to build me up for a tear down like I think they did to britney spears and Lindsay Lohan or Royal Family. Maybe I just was a combatant to the mental production of movies in past and I became necessary to utilize for cultural production. I am like a petri dish AI thought experiment. Brain experiment. Maybe they are tearing me down to build me up instead of the other way around. Maybe I am like a significant piece intertemporally to civilization. When Obama was president they used to play that Gnarles Barkely song everywhere I went Crazy. Maybe I just know too much and I'm not supposed to know.

Today is the 17th a lucky number in my program. So I will buy Powerball. I typically use my money. My mom has given me 20 dollars I don't know if our deal still stands with her spending the money I personally think it should we don't want targets on our backs by universe or terrorists or cult intel. So It will be the 50 million to 8 immiediate, 33 million to cousins parents siblings 6 to friends with the housing money and rest to charity Farm workers and homeless I contemplate construction workers. I personally don't want to be involved in the managing of the money I just want to find good people or orgs to donate to. My mom wants a foundation and to be involved. I'd rather just find an org to get involved with seperately and donate my life's free time. Since I'm not keeping as much I may find work but feel less stressed if they run me out of a job. I may hire someone personally to teach me office skills one on one and for that matter swing dancing and making sushi. They don't like that I have fun drinking. They are the no fun police only beta programming. It's like living under the thumb of a prohibition terrorist cult.

I don't forsee the Targeting program ending any time soon. So if we did eventually move to a suburb of New York maybe I could be involved with the UN or even protest at the UN or do consciousness raising there. I guess that's an advantage of Bethesda in DC but of course it could be spook tyrannyville. And But again with New York there's just the fear of the ice and shoveling snow and ill health affects. It looks idealic, but maybe it is like the Matrix being enticing. Apparently there's UN LA chapter or something i don't know what volunteering entails. There's also a UN chapter in San Diego which has a really nice website.

I had this thought the other day seeing a cowboy actress embrace trump. That the world is not a cow pasture like these cow pasture people need to step outside their world and realize they need to be part of the world and that they can't dominate the world from their cow pasture no matter how big their weapons are or sophisticated. Like eventually they will blow up the world or bankrupt the country and neglecting reality will get so dystopian that we crumble and chaos ensues

I got tired and they started torturing me with voices and made environment hostile. I’m at 10.5 k steps at 430.. The point I think I was thinking with regard to the cow pasture people and supporting Trump is basically Trump is a big F U to people and it feels like people in the middle of the country see one true way of being and everybody has to be like that it is like ditto head, Now it appears there is a programming on left like this. I suspect though that some of the liberal trans and communist play is 76 revolutionaries Larping like they did with pretending to be Native Americans to dump the british tea. What I happen to know about covid is that they synchronized reported deaths and hospitalizations to my eating and excercise habits. So like somebodies are lying about race based viral weapons and the nature of the virus and or means of spread.

One reason I want to have money is that if I ever do find the right partner potentially I don't want them to be turned off by my destitution and disability. Also eventually I don't know what I would be capable of in thise fascist technocracy targeting being brain damaged and such. Also it would afford me space to settle into living with someone potentially or at least give me that option. But first and foremost is helping my mom retire since they aided me when everyone else experimented on me gave me brain damage and for a time all of society tortured me and now they want to just be like "that's in the past" "embrace us embrace the now!" Lastly I'd like a piece of solitude I think and space but I don't know if that is something I will ever afford nor be circumstantially be available for. I think first I'd like to take care of my parents for supporting me, then my siblings, then me possibly affording extra solitude space since I don't think I can rely on a partner treating me like I am not diseased and insane nor as a project to fix and control. Then if by miracle there's compatible person who would eventually be ok with moving in with my parents and helping them age, then I would be for that but it's not likely that all those ducks will line up so I'm for the first three. And that includes probably moving a little bit more into town and where there's stuff to do and live a little both community participation wise and fun. At least these are my desires with wanting money. And potentially moving either to San Diego where my parents have said they'd move to if they could afford or potentially out of state if we get priced out and TJ lawsuits don't open up and the counterintel keeps me isolated and nobody buys my books and values my thoughts or experience or perspective with money and I am unable to return to work or get mobbed out of jobs and such or continue to be disabled. All throughout this paragraph they kept saying "appreci8!" this is a sad response by putrid little nazis who want me to appreciate my abuse and damage they cause as well as dictation in life and living and relationships and appreciate being a monkey experiment. Or treated like a monkey.

Likely I will finish book not sell much TJ won't win lawsuit and I will return to work and be voiced out or mobbed out but afford a quick trip to California Adventure and grande California Hotel, where they will make fun of me with a child mocking me.

It just seems like the government was willing to release a race based virus and or targeted individuals with AI controlled virus in order to capitalize on it politically and had a many headed Hydra placed in response to do so of which Kennedy could be a head. I don't really know what is going on with covid and rfk jr. I know the whole government is dirty across the board and perhaps we are in WWIII. WWII was very dirty. Dirty deeds were done to win that war, so I guess people feel comfortable doing so in WWIII. I don't know where I lie. I don't think I am for releasing a virus and killing a bunch of civilians. I don't know how to vote. The other options are seemingly worse. Due to history of false flag this country's behavior demonstrates I don't know the nature of the attack. And who was the driving force. Voices saying "too gay for it" "Dolph's pregnant" "So and so hates you" "You're a genius"

7/16

Health log

As I said they sabotage you and pretend they are making some massive effort to aid you. Had some chocholate, grilled cheese cottage cheese walnut blueberries, pistachio yogurt spinach berry smoothie getting voices will still try gym I think.. I walked 14k steps had a bite of chicken over 1800. I'm currently avoiding the gym because of voices and harassment.

Einstein according to Kaku compared philosophy to mush. This made me think that if Einstein had been influenced more by philosophy whether he’d had made the atomic bomb or participated in science that led to the atomic bomb. I think I've been sensitive towards people's intentions toward me my whole life and have been subject to hostility and manipulation and evil my whole life to which I have been sensitive to. This is why I need to know people like me and that I like them and feel like they are not stupid which lends itself to evil like there is something repugnant about stupidity. My professor stated that I would want to be at the top of the pyramid and not at the bottom with all the commoners and I thought actually I kinda like regular people more, I felt this was a very elitist mindset when I encountered this but I think i have a feeling of wanting to be around good vibes and intelligence including emotional intelligence and this can be found throughout all strata of society like someone can be ignorant but have good intentions and positive energy or emotional intelligence, however there seems to be more pressure and stress on people at bottom with desperation and a general backlash organized which doesn't always lend itself to emotional stability and positive vibes. I find stupidity throughout the social strata. And like my professor demonstrated a simplistic view and stupidity which I found repugnant but there was a kernal of truth in a strand of what he said in that I like emotional and intellectual intelligence and positive energy so. I like positive energy and feeling secure in my person which can come with higher strata more often I think. This is why we should lift everyone into higher strata or do what Thomas Paine said and make people's happiness our goal in society and treat our minds as our church. Of course this is within reason like people happily murdering the earth while on pills is not the end goal here. But an educated and intelligence developed among the population of earth that values nature and others well being would see to it that we are tending to the earth and people.

On 4th of July I had shared what I was reading on that particular day and some of it included atrocity committed against Native Americans in Colorado during the 1800s and how this was in fact part of the history of the rise of Nazism. I stated that American History is nazi history. Anyways tonight while reading John Meacham's Lincoln book I was reminded of something else I read that discussed how The Founding fathers words in the Declaration of Independence and founding documents like the Bill of Rights were bigger than them as people. Sometimes people's ideas are better than them as people. And I find this to be true like for instance there's plenty of truthful statements made by people today throughout society, but they by virtue of gangstalking and the Monarch Program practice slavery and act like slave masters. If by their standards we are supposed to disregard all ideas from people practicing slavery it would follow that majority of critical consciousness reached today is to be disregarded. I don't think this should be the case. And I think that to some degree practicing slavery today in the 21st century shows a complete disregard to humanity's evolution of consciousness and is in some respects more repugnant as a modern act. Perhaps this is the angle with enticing people into this practice though as a means to dirty the moral high ground through historical and modern perspective. I still believe we should be a bit measured in our reverence for systems in their original state when there were contradictions in practice involved so I'm not saying we should suspend all critical thoughts because of some nice words either.

They keep putting 12 out there as "dirty dozen" Majestic 12 etc for sleeping with. So maybe they've given me 12 sexual encounters in dreams and such I don't know but like I said I don't know the participation of other people with regards to this like were they cognizant of the image used or digital person or other realm person or whatever it is in these dreams I don't know if they condone it. maybe it is most of the time fake images or AI generated. Some of these have been same sex rapes and non desired encounters or pleasant ones. Possibly to spread anti gay hatred or something.

When I get voices the world seems insane without morality and hostile. I'll never understand the reluctance of people to acknowledge reality that voice hearing is a technological abuse or weapon that someone is subject to. There are government documents and reports describing the technology and a senior DARPA scientist stated openly that Cell Towers were being used to target people with synthetic telepathy or "v2k" which is the term for voice to skull. One way that the government gets people to participate in ruining people's lives is by telling them its "for revolution" which never happens and is like some scientology doomsday cult that actually just wants to destroy lives for counterintelligence purposes.

Politics in this country is a dirty game. RFK Jr. is a politician. politicians manipulate I am a bit suspicious that there is a Biowar with U.S goverment and Fauci involvement and money went from working class to rich people by trillions and now it is being said that communists and Jews were responsible. I'm reminded that lenin was funded by wallstreet and of the reichstag fire as a false flag. What's never been acknowledged officially in this country by history is that 9/11 was a false flag in which arabs were blamed in a cave, but which appears obvious that Government involvement took place ushering in fascism.

I once threw a basketball and hit a kid in the face for antagonizing my friend about his weight. The kid being made fun of was named Chris. Think that’s why they have Chris Christie, they also intimate that I am Chris Christie being made fun of now.

I was reading the section on critical consciousness being a prerequisite for social action in New Jim Crow and was thinking that there’s a little more uphill battle for TIs because they don’t have the political organizing history or power that black people have there is just less of them. It affects considerably less people. So the nervous laughter response and lack of dialogue will likely continue on for a long while. In fact the sacrificing of TIs is done to use them for other more powerful and organized groups purposes and political movements. TIs are basically used as pawns and as prop pieces for this and don’t have any real power. It’s just a show for how they advance other causes. Their life be tossed aside.

I actually suspect that bioweapons or viruses can be controlled by AI electronically remotely. And race based is cover for individual targeting. Another place we could live if we combined households that seems kinda nice is Bethesda Maryland. But I’m not too sure about dc area just seems nice weather wise and possible nice cultural political outlets could be spook tyranny ville. Took my evening stroll with my coffee it was a little warm for coffee but cool enough I guess. The birds were all out chirping and seemed happy or relieved to be in the cooler evening shade. I thought they are survivors maybe I could be like them and be a survivor, but then I thought they are still living with nature and off earth and land and I am a disabled cyborg human living in a technocratic fascist state so its not quite transferable. It's pretty warm in my room but with the portable AC it is livable. I again feel sorry for those without AC in warm hot areas. It should really be a right in these areas to have cooling systems.

I think they are saying that women want me to have hair on my chest instead of shave but I don't think these people understand what that would entail. I've never seen 1 person with the hair I have on my chest and as I got older it just became fluffier and fluffier and hairier and hairier. There was a short time in my twenties where I could clip it a bit and it looked not so bad. It doesn't look good either way, but I feel better about it shaving it which again I know looks stupid I just have no option. The voices liked a Hollywood Hills 'dream home" i looked at. Which is kinda funny because I don't know I'd spend that much on a home no matter what if I won a lawsuit or something. It was 3.5 million. Also I am reluctant to be on stilts like I think they could demolish my home like the rolling hills estates and such. There was a home in South Pasadena which was way less and conceivably we could combine households and swing in the distant future. My family has expressed interest in these homes and area but likely undoable still. I think we want to be here barring any unforeseeable swings good or bad for a few years. My niece has a nice outlet here and supportive community ties. They're giving me middle finger pain and saying "appreci8!" as response to this.

7/15

Health log:

Cottage cheese blueberries with walnuts, Smoothie with spinach, Pasta with veggie crumbles tbsp cream, yogurt with pistachios, Crossaint, cheese bite of chicken unfortunately I'll try to cut that out. Walked about 8.6 k steps at 630 I had voices so I avoided going to gym. Then they had guy dump is trash to say I am dumped across the street. You know just average psychological abuse. like I am a slave.

Thought log

They have Kari lake represent a woman from an old job named Kara and Katie Hobbs represents a lady named Katie. I don’t really know their politics. The Kara woman I think I’ve seen in commercials. The guy that ran my dad out of his job was last name Lake so I don’t know if there is a reference. Reading about the parallels in South American civilization in gods that were described as white bearded men in robes and who were memorialized as feathered serpents or symbolized. This serpent theme is said to course throughout history and world and supposedly represents a society of the serpent. Which maybe symbolized dna structure of universal energies in cosmos structure.

Considering I am getting voices that are being oppressive and torturing again. Trying to drive me insane and society has never acknowledged what they put me through and that it is wrong and inhumane, I’d like to give society the silent treatment except necessary business, some family maybe a few friends until they acknowledge my sanity and compensate me for my violation and damages. If my whole family wanted to I'd be open to it but I don't really want to go to Oregon. I think I'd prefer New York to it. Oregon seems like a civil war petri dish. Voices keep saying "youre too short" "Appreci8!" "brick" like i am a slave. they had rengifo leave for lack of hustle as commentary on me or to chastize me like a slave.

I can’t really read today because of voices maybe later. Dirty politics by intelligence is usually manipulative and duplicitous, so if in fact covid is a bio weapon that targets certain races while affecting other races less, it remains a possibility that it is done to frame certain people a certain way..

I've contemplated being involved in RFK Jr.s campaign and I think it's good that someone is talking about bioweapons and I'm not necessarily against acknowledging race based weapons. In fact, I shared a bit ago in the log how "crowd control" technology report in European Union Report from 2000 discussed the ongoing developments with race based DNA weapons that included viral or biological. Of course the Bush Administration said they'd be a politically useful tool in a "New American Century" which I don't think should be lost in all of this. However, I am a bit curious as to how RFK Jr seems to being positioned and how there is involvement with the highest paid actor in American government that seemingly frames, supposedly, anyhow jews and chinese. Like the involvement of the American government's highest paid players rise to suspicious framing and intelligence structures having a hand. Like with anything I'm reminded of the symbolic technique of rule that I see the bible as control heavens celestial control rebellion lower world with fallout aristocrat. You never know what is going on. And in my own experience I know that the government will do false flag even joint operations like is in Ukraine that have an appearence of one thing but serve another. Also Fauci China and Jewish play could play the antagonist to the rising "truth teller" RFK Jr in fact it could be a false flag or a framing altogether with little involvement by those groups. Or members of those groups could be involved for purposes of framing all of China and Chinese communist party and excuse war on "marxistss" or marxist thought here in America or strictly to make Kennedy palatable. Of course there is also the possibility that marxists were at the helm and motivated, but I personally think that Fauci is anti big government and played the White Coat mockery of government so I suspect due to his involvement that there is duplicity which I would suspect with American involvement. I personally experience this with Targeted Individual program which I'm their "truth teller" whom they manipulate and try to manage. Because of all this I have a hard time getting involved with RFK Jr. even though I generally agree with his thought processes or find them palatable. But I potentially see links to Nazi operation even though I acknowledge that he could just be a traditional liberal trying to bring sanity to situation and is also being mindcontrolled and managed perceptually by the huge system that abounds us all. It's too muddled at this point for me to be gungho.

When the lotto is this big winning plan is to buy 4 houses for 4 households of my immediate family and give 7 million each. Then to buy houses for all my siblings' immediate inlaws and children or give 800k I personally think we should make it 1 million. And to my Parent's siblings and their children. Then my dad's 1st cousin's on his mother;'s side and their children. And a few family friends and buy them a house or give 800k to 1 million. Then I guess a foundation which I would like to give to farm workers and homeless and I started thinking construction workers. 200 + million dollars I guess. This amounts to 28-32 million or so for cousins and inlaws and such. 5-6 million for a few friends which could grow and 36-40 million for the 8 of us. So about 70 million then This leaves the 200 + million for Foundation or farm worker orgs, homeless orgs or Construction workers.

If we get priced out of California another place I saw that is supposed to be nice is Providence Rhode Island they have houses for 350k and it’s 1 hour to Boston.

1 glaring thing keeping me from working is as a subject in a science experiment, if I wake up one day and express a thought that intel doesn’t like they will run me out of my job or drive me insane as punishment. I don't really want to die of a heart attack shoveling snow. Or my family to break a hip on ice. I looked up Portland and the voices said "you're a genius" I don't really like being led around or dictated to by my slave masters. This is like recolonizing of the slaves "You here move over there ok great." Now if my whole family determines this is nice and makes sense economically I am fine with that. However it feels forced. Looked up East Brunswick New Jersey. One advantage of New Jersey is they may still believe in family being east coast establishment italian influence.

Portland seems nice but it’s too weird like proud boys vs liberals vs pride vs corporations. Lotta craziness. They even pride themselves as homogeneous weirdness. Plus my voice slave masters approve of it. They turned voices back on because I don’t want to go to Portland.

If we combined households we could live in a suburb of NYC Greenburgh by Irvington. They are now just interfering with my daily exercise and mental activity and reading and writing while pretending that they are concerned about it. They sabotage me then act like they are making massive efforts to encourage me. It is the MO of this program, ruin your life and act like they are doing you a favor. I imagine somewhere it makes sense to a fascists in their limited brain activity to turn someone into a slave because they view the world as a community in which people are responsible to a commonwealth and to their fellow human. Like I will remind of Thomas Paine's rhetoric in which he stated his mind was his own church and that people's happiness should be the goals of our efforts. I'm reminded that I saw a big very nice church today somewhere out there in the country and I thought wow that must mesmerize a bunch of psychos to do atrocity and cult behavior. I don't know if Suburbs of New York would necessarily have a positive view of family. Maybe. Maybe its ritzy or snobby or maybe it is comfortable and liberal minded or open mind inclusive idk anything about it. personally I'd like to remain in California. As I said I don't want to shovel snow and die of a heart attack or watch my family slip on ice and break a hip. Saw a nice place in Scarsdale NY. Seemed like a nice town had good schools. It has name of family so maybe it's preordained or something.

7/14

Health log:

They harassed me gave me voices I left gym early did 20 min bike 20 min elliptical. Some weightlifting. I’ve walked 6 k steps. 10 k steps

Thought log

They are indicating that they harass me and hurt my feelings so I focus on myself. This reminds me of a motive I think is obvious with gangstalking and mind control harassment. I don’t see how any intelligent person could view gangstalking or harassment as a means to create a populace that is empathetic and generous toward their fellow humans or community. My grandma's maiden name is Higgins which literally means Viking and Viking apparently according to this book on Norse mythology means pirate. I responded to a prompt on twitter that if I could go back in time what would I do differently or 1 thing and I thought I should not do activism or care about it and people less and care more about myself family and money. But in reality I'd have to suspend my person to some degree to do this which is what the gangstalking does it destroys your person hood. So the theocratic cult responded by making me uncofortable hitting me with voices and trying to torture me as punishment for that thought. This is why I don't like people. They find this sort of thing funny and it has ruined my life and treated it like a joke.

I was walking in my house and told myself I want to get to 8k steps by 4 “8 by 4” I said. Then I looked down at my step counter and it read 8844 steps. So we are in a simulation because I don’t know how they could so effectively accomplish that synchronization. Was reading in Lincoln book a section discussing how slave owners were in favor of recolonization of Africa by free black Americans because it would minimize or weaken abolitionist cause and would support slavery. I feel like this moving me out of California is a similar tactic and a similar slap in the face as well.

I saw that Ana Toledo said that according to a survey done by Targeted Justice, people self identifying as conservative are 5 times more likely to be targeted. I know I didn't respond to this survey when i found it because I didn't feel like identifying myself, but I consider myself on left. However, I speculate that I am targeted by rich powerful capitalists to prop me up because I believe the way forward is a hybrid economic model from systems of our past and new models. So I think that I got targeted from a right perspective while trying to manage my perspective even if leftwing footsoldiers may have been motivated by ideologies and such I think motive vary among foot soldiers. So, to me it fits that conservatives are targeted because I see the operation as an anti-government anti empathetic profit sharing society counter intelligence operation so it would follow that they sacrifice some conservatives to display ostensible motive to debase government. Like for instance The whole of the Republican Party, a largely anti profit sharing society pro competitive social darwinist etc, were silent for 50 years regarding this program and I don't think it's because they hate conservatives. This false flag behavior would in fact fit the manipulative traditional culture of intelligence. In fact, I know I've been gangstalked by nearly 4 to 5 million people in a general area of 10 million. And I really believe these individual motives vary while management executive motives are different.

Right now if I choose a woman over another the nonchosen woman I believe feels a sense of relief. If I make myself fit and have money then I think I may actually hurt their feelings potentially. So it’s not necessarily entirely better. As I’ve said before I don’t know what I’m capable of anymore with regards to work. I’m almost 40, with no professional development or skills, numerous abilities I did have have been neutralized by harassment targeting, and I have brain damage. Even if I were to get past that I still have what happened today which is voices and harrassment cutting my ability to be in public or complete a task. Or a psychotic episode.

I thought of having alot of money and living in Pasadena and I thought I could attract a nice pasadena woman there's alot to do in Pasadena and then i thought they are going to think of me as the R word and then I thouhgt no you never know I could have some sort of weird appeal. Also saw a nice 1 bedroom 1 den place in Cardiff so if I sue or win lotto or sell books... that's really all I got at this point. Anywyas this place was nice about 750 sq ft and I thought that it would be nice for solitude. Or guests. It was about 1.5 million.

In After Disclosure. Richard Dolan discusses potentially or allegedly different types of Aliens visiting the planet or with a presence and he discusses Nordics and how they are seen as nice or benevolent. I find this interesting because blonde people will give off good vibes toward me alot of times nowadays. I don't know if this was always the case growing up. But my parents lived in Utah and said the people were all nice. Could be that blondes now trigger B thoughts for me.

If we eventually get priced out of California I looked up a town in Maryland Called Bowie, its 30 min outisde DC and doesn't seem like alot to do there though, but it's cheaper says its the 3rd nicest place to live in Maryland. Has a 6 Flags.

7/13

Health Log:

My legs are sore today from doing lunges the other day so will return to gym tomorrow. Cottage cheese walnuts blueberries, pistachio yogurt, bean cheese burrito, slice of cheese, bean taquitos. Mac cheese . About 1900 calories. Walked 7k steps at 2pm I found a veggie high protein high iron product at Trader Joe’s I plan to cook it with some pasta, it’s a crumble thing. I got up and had a bite of cheese and they had a bunch of women actresses dressed in black appear with black heart emojis which means you’re too fat

Iron daily value: 17 percent plus beans so not good

Heart healthy, pistachios blueberries, walnuts

Thought Log

The thing is that they are likely going to penalize my loved ones and family unless I follow orders so I am open to almost anything due to this fact. So i was just venting. They are continuing their hostile environment little nazis running around phoniness messaging me that they are running us out of California. I don't look forward to going anywhere else, California has its problems, but I see what goes on elsewhere and I don't look forward to being around such stupidity. I don't think I'd fit in New York. Or most of my family anyhow. I remembered wanting to ask out anybody in High School to prom because I didn't want peers to call me gay at least partial motivation. Not that I was homophobic I never joked about that sort of thing. Anyways I asked out a girl and she denied. I really didn't want to go anyways so it was a blessing. I didn't really like her really so she was right to deny. Anyways they have a "is myles turner Gay?" headline for thinking this.

Saw a PBS segment with Mo Rocca where a psychiatrist demonstrates a crude handheld device that can control your brain and make body parts move change speech. I came across this quote attributed to Nilz Melzer which I include in my book, but I need to find it as a source. So I need to read this whole website of his words and quotes to find it maybe. Allegedly its there. I'm not too techno-savvy so I don't know if there is some easier way to traverse the website so alas I will read it today. But here is the quote which basically spells out the theme of my book. I'm not sure if I thought this and Chmosky stole it or if I thought it independently or if I was fed it by Chomsky as a youngster. I don't know where my thoughts end and others begin historically being a mind read brain experiment but here's Melzer's quote:

"Freedom of expression is guaranteed so long as we discuss only what is served up to us in the headlines. When we stray into subject areas declared off-limits, our dissent becomes a 'conspiracy theory' & our thirst for knowledge criminal 'espionage.'"

Chomsky quote is It is attributed in 1998. so I would have been 13.. don't know what my thoughts were then.

“The smart way to keep people passive and obedient is to strictly limit the spectrum of acceptable opinion, but allow very lively debate within that spectrum....”

They had a woman on tv championing microdosing mushrooms for”sober mindedness” then had a psychiatrist determine it was dangerous. Meanwhile the psychiatrist kidnaps people and force drugs them with pharmaceuticals, he’s considered the authority and the woman is considered the danger. It’s possible that we are alive on earth right now because some being had no life and decided to create this all as an obsession.

I’m at the portion of Monarch New Phoenix program where it discusses the women’s camp and British targeting of it in 80s. It’s weird that they want me to be their leader when I hate society for what they did to me. The quote from Melzer is from his book page 209 line 14. So I bought the book. I will locate it and quote it properly. This took up most my limited efforts today. So maybe I will read my other books or read the rest of chapter 3. for direct quotes.

I was remembering the days when we didn't have AC out here. I don't know how we did it or how people do it. I think that AC housing should be a right. I've started The New Jim Crow again to find the quote "critical consciousness is necessary for social action" I need to find the page its on in the book. But in reading the first few pages. Alexander states it's never been proven that the CIA deliberately sought to destroy the black community, but Nixon's own advisor admitted that Their antidrug campaign was used as an excuse to break up the black community's political power and to break up and destroy antiwar movement and people. Then she cites how the CIA prevented law enforcement from going after Nicaraguan drug cartels who were selling drugs in black neighborhoods. Like I don't think CIA is intentionless when it condones a drug gang to sell drugs to particular neighborhoods. Their whole purpose is to manipulate communities and society for their objective which with the original leader of CIA being Allan Dulles who had business dealings and meetings with Nazis in WWII. This, seemingly to open eyes would indicate historically their entrenched power brokers lie in a field where the objective is to increase the power of rich white racists at any costs. But of course I'm reminded of my thought on the Cross which is that it possibly symbol representing control of 4 points in society with blood sacrifice in middle so this could be a simplistic rendition of reality.

7/12

Health Log

Cottage cheese walnuts blue berries, Yogurt pistachios, Nectarines 2, Vegan Tiki Masala, Pizza frozen, walnuts broccoli, cottage cheese slice of cheese. I was at about 1900 to 2000. I walked 8k Steps and did 23 laps pool. I also did rows weightlifting and dumbell shoulder press. They had a dopple gangar of my friend and a woman who could have been B or A or an actress and they were kicking splashing alot i think to say they get a kick out of me. But maybe to criticise my kicking in the pool Idk.

Another one of those crazy things making me think of intertemporal relationships is that as I had discussed a few days ago, when I first became aware I was being targeted was in college when weird guys were stalking and harassing me online and such. And I changed my email and called myself Frank, A was one of the people I contacted to give them my email as Frank as the alias. Well A looks like Anne Frank which I noticed later. That Gal Gadot and AT&T with the last name Vayntrub is supposed to be the occupy lady. In fact it’s kinda weird but I don't know if the Vayntrub lady is actually her but i don't think so. If they flood the pool tomorrow with people I'll cut out early and do some extra treadmil walking. If I could live anywhere in Los Angeles i don't think I'd want to live in Pasadena. I know its nice in some areas i like oldtown its got a nice vibe to it, but with the dystopian push my family lived there and there were multiple gunshot killings by their house when they lived there. It's also sorta remote. That's why I would choose Studio City Brentwood or Pacific Palisades. I'd also think of Los Feliz. One advantage of being in California is that you can get to some pretty nice places by car and for less expense than traveling across country or out of the country by plane and such

When I fell in love with A I deep down knew she needed someone else and this messed with my mind. Selfishly I wanted it because I thought the love had some purpose.. I know it’s served many purposes regardless. And as I’ve said before this assessment I was aware of was compounded by lives being in different countries, but I was ready to leave country at the time. I’m not much for that now. Falling for B I think was supposed to workout. I sometimes wonder if there are parallel realities where they each did workout how I wanted them to. Monarch is giving me the middle finger. I don’t think there are meant to be’s I think there are desires and fruition or non fruition of desires.

I don’t find the things being done to me or treating me like a lab rat to be funny. But just like the intel agencies used Comedy Central to launder our dissonance and human emotion during early 2000s they use comedy to ok this stuff. The whole Dr. Fauci as the highest paid government employee white coat demanding you get shot up lying all the time and people losing their jobs and businesses was like a caricature of government. Kind of like deliberately making a mockery of government. I had referenced Derek Jensen's alluding to a Nazi concentration camp experiment in which the Nazi gaurds would make the prisoners play a game and the winners would live and the losers would be sent to their death. This to me was based on capitalism in which we play a game and winners get homes or healthcare and losers live on the streets and die without health care often.

If I could live anywhere I would live in Los Angeles to be close to my family here and niece while she goes to school through high school, but my parents if they could live anywhere would live in San Diego after that. I am finding all these nice jobs that I used to think I would want to do or could do in the past when I was more competent and confident in society and my capabilities. With the brain damage and my lessening of capabilities or not knowing what I'm capable of anymore and my confidence in society dwindling as a counter intel brain control monkey experiment, these jobs have less appeal to me as a prospective candidate than they did years ago. This makes me think I should really focus on reading and writing. Sometimes or often times that seems like a deadend financially but it pays in knowledge and mental stimulus, thus my mental health while creating a general feeling of contributing to collective consciousness.

They like to push into my mental sphere the idea of "starting over" or Starting new" like i just had some bad luck. Rather I've been dictated to. I've had people screw up my life on purpose threaten me and force me to live here, a place where I've never had friends or fit in. Because I've been here so long its like become a part of me now when I always resisted it before. They are making planes make depressing noises over my head in disapproval and that about sums up my opinion about this place it is a bunch of control freaks who won't even let me have my own thoughts and feelings without being entitled to their feeling that they have to modify it or fix it in some way through controlling me with their power. Anyway I always like to balance out these less positive thoughts with positve so I'm reminded that I got to spend time with family and we only have so much of that. I enjoy a country club almost at the gym i go to. People are generally happy here in this town somewhat i think at least they most of the time have an elevated mood compared to other areas, probably due to general safety and wellbeing. There's lots of trees and vegetation so there's some animals. There's some nice movie theateres and restraunts.

In Project Monarch The New Phoenix Program, there was a person or mind control victim giving testimony who said they had been in therapy for 12 years but only recently (at time of their testimony) for the past two years made any real progress because they got a therapist who was aware of or understood mind control programs. I'm reminded that therapy was useful to me in some respects when I went because it gave me someone to talk to, but I didn't get a whole lot out of it because they were treating me like I couldn't discern reality and wouldn't acknowledge reality. I found a psychologist later who did know about the Targeting program and such and her name was Cathy Meadows I believe, but when I tried talking to her by phone in preliminary interviews, I began getting harassed heavily and voices became more abusive, so I had to forget about that avenue.

LA obviously has a lot going for it, but there are just more nicer neighborhoods for cheaper price in San Diego with closer proximity to the Ocean due to less traffic and sprawl. In this respect it is just nicer.

They had a dopplegangar of a women I liked in High school look at me like they liked me. I believe this woman is married. But anyways this dopplegangar woman has like a perfect size ratio to me and one of those faces that say sane and is pretty, gives you positive feelings. Anywys there's more to things than that there's personality compatibility, brain, heart, spirit and such.

I think that “birthing person” dehumanizes through homogenization of cultural identities and people. I think it’s very ageist to dismiss golf courses. Older people don’t have a lot of sports they can play and for that matter some disabled people can manage golf. Karen’s everywhere should sue everyone else for emotional distress.

Unfortunately I have a minor crush on a woman at the gym so let’s not make a big deal out of it. I’ve seen her for like a minute 3 times. She greeted me once because it’s her job. . She’s probably not single and I’m old and really undatable. I probably wouldn’t be good for her. And one reason I might have the crush is she is like a combo of A and B. They had Joseph Gordon Levitt do steamy scenes with Scarlett Johanson because i stated in earlier logs or they know that Scarlett Johanson is my celebrity crush and they know that Joes represent my nemesis. Jokic Joe Biden levitt etc.

They are putting me and family under stress I've stated before my family is subject to stress due to psych war and experimentation they are little pawns like me. I'm a pawn in a counterintelligence op. I was thinking how they want me to be some protestor showman in a podcast or in the streets as part of a counter intelligence operation for like leftists or rightists secret societies and I thought today they can kiss my ass I wont be their little didly doo monkey who they make insecure until I'm given restitution for the way they damaged me and treated my life like entertainment etc like all that I wrote in the previous log to Jim Jordan prompt. The only way I can strike is by not protesting and writing I guess. Like people treated my emotional bonds as something to jsut piss on so that I would become some podcast hero or to generally demoralize me and crush my soul so that I could rise from the ashes and ascend like Plato says is the purpose of the State or some meta spiritual bs like I said bs spirituality is one of the 4 things 21st century fascism hides behind. Butterfly monarch etc.

7/11

Health log

Chipotle yogurt pistachio, strawberries, 1800 . Yogurt 1900. Elliptical 42 min bike33 min 500 calorie burn. 4.4k walk at 330 pm. They were obnoxious the first half at the gym today. Did weightlifting as well.

Thought log

I was adding to chapter 1 the bit I wrote in the log from a couple days ago after being prompted to submit to Jim Jordan how the program affected my life. I decided not to and end the bit I wrote with the sentence Finally it has treated me and my life like a pawn to "expose a problem." After setting the laptop down in which that is the last thing written in chapter 1. I picked up Monarch the New Phoenix Program and this is the first sentence I am to read today A testimony from Claudia Mullen: "Good afternoon. Between the years 1957 and 1984, I became a pawn in the governments game." So this makes me wonder where I am thinking and where AI is doing the thinking. Like I was controlled to synchronize that scenario.

I’m sure telling white people in America that the only thing worthwhile about the country was built by Jews and poc plays into the popularity of white nationalism. I’m reminded of my theory about the cross as a symbol, control 4 points with blood sacrifice in middle. I may have included this yesterday but 21st century fascism or nazism hides behind both sides of white Christian nationalism and multiculturalism fight, health enthusiasm fitness cults, BS spirituality, notions of natural order to economy. In Derek Jensens A language older than words he discusses that were he as confident as a student as he was now that he would have flunked all his classes for not going along with the stipulations of the classes. I’m starting to think maybe I am made of something significant. They're threatening me with wildfire starting if i eat. My dad just made dinner and it smells good. I'm not hungry however. so I won't eat.

Just read an article that 3 open source intelligence analysts (i don't understand open source, never been explained to me) anyways they said Neurostrike is the military term for brain control or neuro weapons that they say China is using as part of the conventional military applications and shouldn't be considered as something that only gets used in extreme circumstances. What this Washington Times article of course ignores is that this ability is used in the United States. I have recorded in my book the well known information that remote control of humans through brain control goes back to the 50s and 60s at least with regards to efforts to accomplish the feat by U.S Intelligence.

I wish they would have had all these jobs when I was more competent and confident in my abilities and didn't have brain damage. I don't know what I'm capable of anymore and I really just feel that the control system is hostile towards me. It’s crazy living in a fascist society where the only opposition is a few communists who are like we are all equal here except you the guy we practice our mind control operation on you are our monkey. I’d like to be involved in a housing as a right group but I’ll be mobbed treated as insane like a monkey science experiment. I’d like to be involved in a TI group but I’d be treated similar and as a pawn in a counterintelligence operation.

7/10

By now it should be pretty obvious to earthlings that I need things to go a little slower just look at the way I walk. I can’t go to a rave or something. I’m out of my element at party mingling unless I know the people and I know they like me. And if I like them I might be weird. I’m kinda too weird for this place. I have multiple personality disorder I think because of the schizo. Or maybe it is just anxiety and my personality acting out or ebbing and flowing. I am very much like earth. Im not very good in groups all the time I get lost in all the different stimuli energies and conversations. I said yesterday that I wonder if I’ll ever have friends in LA that like me and are nice good people. I’ve been a social outcast my whole life and it’s not really nice.

I went to gym but my legs were tired because the pool has been crowded and I’ve been supplementing swim days with elliptical, so my legs need rest I’ll just make this my rest day instead of tomorrow. 21st century Nazism hides behind bullish!t spirituality, both sides of white Christian nationalism vs multiculturalism, health enthusiasm of physical fitness cults.

Chipotlanes by my house is a lot like In N Out in that they are young competent friendly people doing hard, skilled, high volume tasty work. I wish I didn't have brain damage and was competent at something like that. I wish I was good at something. They gave me a message that said 'bad writing.' These thought logs are just for quick jotting down information or thoughts for record and such as I have gone over in previous logs. I will try to make them more readable and take time from here on out. Life is not supposed to be an endless psychological war. That's not what life is meant to be about. We are not supposed to be lab rats. In the meantime, when the country isn't going to abolish prison and move to alternative means, as of now there should be more money put into them and make them softer rehabilitation centers. They should be smaller and more manageable rather than just more hellacious environments that act as deterrents through human mass cruelty. They're saying that a B doppelgangar tennis player quit to become a nun, this is because they intimate that B is upset that I will look at women in bathing suits or actress ads on Facebook when I scroll. Alot of them are doppelgangers of her, but I do this sometimes because they manage my environment and remove attractive women from it from time to time based on my eating and exercising. And I get no stimulus because I'm in my house all day. I'm not really reading today because I am tired. I need a break.

I guess I'm just going to say this, but A looks like Anne Frank and my uncle looks like Einstein. They're saying that I am like an unlikeable hollywood actor that nobody wants to work with anymore. That lady on the plane is supposed to be B. I’m not real supposedly, also I’m disheveled and physiognomy isn’t as good. So they’re saying nobody will believe me until I get my appearance in order. All these tennis players having breakdowns is giving me anxiety. They are hidden messages to me. Also not exercising gives me anxiety because of the consequences. I'm getting voices. I don’t really trust the congressional hearing on “weaponization of FBI” I believe the government knows all about it.

Starting tomorrow I plan to really focus on the book. I need to change the format of the notes, eliminate where I can’t find sources for notes (there’s a few like this) and find page numbers for direct quote out of books. I’ll likely do 1 of each of these things per chapter per day. So should take me the month.

I just really don’t want to go back to work and be around people they are like the most annoying little weasels and psychos. They are also brainwashed with much of them being fascists. When I went to work at the theme park their harassment trainings all were based on me and were defaming and harassing me. And on top of it I’m not skilled or professionally developed which I think they will hammer me for like psychos. Thirdly, I’m brain damaged with schizo brain and ideation and counterintel target.

7/9

Health log

Walked5.2 k steps at 3pm. Swam 15 laps. 11 crawl 4 kick. 20 minutes elliptical. Shoulder dumbbells 20 lbs. they had attractive red headed woman there later messaged me with advertising dopplegangar which they’d only be able to do with knowledge of my environment today. I like to take an evening walk with coffee in summer. Pool was busy again so cutout early and went to elliptical. They had stereotype mafia and non white “terrorists” there from my imagination of breakaway group inter temporal killing Kennedy.cottage cheese blueberries walnuts, pistachio yogurt, bean salad, pasta salad, more cottage cheese, 2 nectarines, avocado 1900 calories 7k steps. Cheese.half slice.

Thought log

Another way the program has affected me in reference to yesterday's log. I am subject to a vehicular floating box in which people will cut me off etc play games on the highway. I was subject to a targeted threat on my life in the past and I believe my dad and uncle were both targeted in staged car accidents. So a job that I learned to do when I worked was drive a small box truck. This is a job that they will pretend they are putting out there for me to do, but I just don't feel comfortable on road on a daily basis as work. AlsoI get voices from time to time and the radio distracts me with targeted psych messaging.. Additionally on a personal level I find driving to be otherwise exhausting and unhealthy to do 8 hrs a day or more. I don't think me and my whole family are going to move to a place on the off chance that a woman will talk to me when i am very publicly on the internet and they could just talk to me electronically and don't. like its not the 1800s. They had an orange Moving truck labeled "Prodigy" on the side. Orange means protest so don't know how to interpret the messaging. again seem like people are trying to coerce us to move which we are not going to.

Because they are putting these thoughts of moving in my head I looked up images of Nashville. Then thought I’m supposed to be that John nash later Steve nash because of giving Alias Steve to occupy reporters, anyways there seemingly was a cloned group of white women walking around Nashville having fun like I couldn’t tell the groups apart appearing in different venues. Also saw this group with a guy wearing camoflogue and that would take some getting used to and is maybe a red flag. Then there was a big pub crawl group that seeemed nice people of all ages. They were all white and I thought I don’t know about all white society, like I like think I could do Ireland or England but they both have some diversity nowadays, I liked the white people I went to college with but they were California college educated. I remember what a bubbled off like society was like in my youth out here but now changed a bit. Nashville is also a city so may have some sophistication to it maybe even see me as the hillbilly or uncouth. Then I thought I’m being very judgemental, but it’s the south and I know the groupthink is real culty stuff happens. Then I’m like that seems to be the op get lower class or liberal white people in California moving to the south where we’ll be neutralized swallowed

Reading in Origins of The Gods about Native American beliefs in upper lower and middle world and how creation has order which is upper and disorder is lower, but this has me think how sometimes the view that creation is order posits that any new creation is disorder to old. In Alanguage Older than words, Jensen cites a game nazi guards played with concentration camp prisoners, that the winners would survive and the losers would be sent to their death. This seemingly is modeled after capitalism

They had dopplegangar of B wearing black tshirt with blue writing saying “conquered” because they used to heavily program my mind with blue and black messaging which I’ve shared in earlier logs. If I had money and was close in proximity maybe I’d buy a share into a co-op. Idk a lot about it or if that is how it’s done. I also think of opening a bakery and doing profit sharing or something which I also don’t know a lot about. Advantage of owning is you can’t be mobbed out by counter intel. They had a guy blow a breakaway dunk in response to this thought

I have rewritten a section of Ch.2 finished making reccomended edits I think at least. Can't find website i used to cite note 20. I may have to rewrite that section I don't know if I can say I copied this section but cant find where I got it from. I'll likely have to introduce john robb another way. I still have another section describing his global guerilla's thing. open source war etc.

I'd probably be a shitty business owner and i don't want to ruin people's lives like that. I'll have to think of something else. One problem I have with looking for places to volunteer at and just for peace of mind in general, is I don't know what organizations i worked for or volunteered at in the past had a role in my targeted threatening of my life and weapons testing experiment nazi experiment etc. Like I'd like to volunteer again for the international rescue committee, but I don't know if they had a hand in my targeting and attempt on my life etc. This is a general problem for me going anywhere in society like I don't know who is CIA or some intel group and who will kill me drive me insane. Then I'm like maybe I should volunteer for politicians, but they are all insane. I'm reminded of an earlier log a week or so ago in which I was questioning like if I'm done with all this and need to find a way to contribute to my life, family, earth and society in a sane safe way in a way i can. Maybe writing is this and i need to create some space for that where I focus on that. Like I can't solve all the world's problems.

There's a couple of women I worked with who I believe I've seen later use different alias' and it kinda makes me wonder if they are dopplegangars or if they changed their names. I've had the thought that I wouldn't want to live on stilted house or near a canyon or on a canyon and they seemingly made those houses collapse in response. I keep thinking that I am enormous and like 500 lbs because they follow me around with big versions of me and other super fit guys. Like I saw myself and i am like 186 lbs. I wonder if I'll ever have friends in Los Angeles that I can trust and who are nice people or good people. Eden is funny because it has that Den syllable again like denzel of course zel is used often as i've discussed in other logs. We are being banished from finishing our den. because i am seeking and passing knowledge. If you want people to "tell their story" but not focus on the past i don't really understand. Signs are pointing to staying in Los Angeles due to writer strike and such hotel strike.. incidentally I noticed some hotel jobs out here. Don’t know that I’m skilled enough or capable at this point for a job like that and something has happened that I can’t get into which maybe is a sign to steer clear. I’ve managed to skip out on meat snacking, but I think I’m digestively backed up because of cheese so need some other snack

7/8

Health log:

Headache gone. Chest pain briefly yesterday. Ate cottage cheese with blueberries and walnuts, yogurt with pistachios, strawberries, broccoli with hummus, salmon on bread with cream cheese 3 black bean taquitos 1800 calories. I think I’m deciding to do indoor gym instead of swim today I’m a little sluggish I think I need to chug water and I can more easily go to bathroom. Did 42 min elliptical 33 min bike 500 calorie burn, weightlifting. Walked 4.5k steps at 420 pm. I'm actually a little hungry. Might have some cheese. They threaten me with bad sports play by my fantasy team and favorites.. then commentary. They also have fighters get pummeled and know I don't like that. they start fires tornados hurricanes natural disasters based on me going over 1800 calories. Had a piece of cheese at 1900 calories.

Thought log:

It’s kinda nice reading The Eyes and The Impossible David eggers book. It’s like real art instead of non fiction or traditional fiction makes you think a bit differently. I joined the targeted individuals LA Facebook group and it just doesn’t seem serious. I don’t know sometimes I think they have the whole thing staged to target just a few people. In Homo Deus Harari claims we have no souls because of evolution. I don’t think he makes a convincing argument. Not that there’s necessarily one for souls either. I went over to threads and they had Reese Witherspoon holding a book titled yellow face. I had just about a week ago discussed with my sister how my face looks ugly in yellow shirts so we bought a pink shirt. We agreed yellowwasnt my color. There’s a woman who I think pretended to be interested in me once and they’re having dopplegangar of her at Trader Joe’s act disinterested and pissed that I thought that. Monarch often tries to set me up with young women. And it's not necessarily like they are too young, but I am too old for them. I changed my Twitter bio to read “I have programmed scizophrenia” instead of “I’m not like this at work”

If I sell alot of books, sue the government, or win the lotto, I'd like to take a few trips to various baseball parks around the country. One thing that got me about the lady who I think pretended to be interested in me is that she seemingly maybe tried to interfere with me being interested in B and so I wonder if it was counter intel or something. The workplace ended up unionizing years later which I am for but its a little suspicious because like nobody is in a union in this country. This makes me wonder about Orcas attacking boats brain control and A and B simultaneous interest in me again... like something extracurricular was taking place. I've gone over this in early logs. Because I don't know what the Targeted Individual program is other than that it is counter intelligence counter insurgency and it seems like support groups aren't really serious minus maybe Targeted Justice lawsuit and could be psyops. I wonder if they just target a few people at a time and then have all these people flood the space as some ritual soul ascension or crushing even task. to organize people who are there to foil you like that myth pushing the rock uphill. So because of that were I to move out of here i would likely try to start something opposing war in Yemen, because I think that is a real thing happening. I think russia vs u.s is like what michael salla says that it is just cover for controlling ET, but I think it is cover for breakaway civilization and such as has been leveled. but maybe it is anti war itself trying to get people involved because americans don't care about middle east. Eventually it seems like I'll have to self publish these logs just to make a historical record of them i doubt there will be wide readership. My mom may retire soon and we want to do a mother son book on schizophrenia and my take on it. her take my take and exploring how we navigate that living together.

When I first realized I was being targeted was in College when these weird internet guys were harassing me and stalking me. I was depressed at time because A was gone. I began to change my email and notified some friends of this I called myself Frank, so they have people in media as personalities who are Frank represent me and such. Also a highschool kid who was kinda weird guy in highschool like something off about them seemingly did a directed convo on facebook declaring we needed to start a new Non-AMerican activities committee and such. I felt it was directed at me. I ended up leaving facebook due to the targeting started a new account and eliminated a bunch of people. If I ever had money through those three previously mentioned avenues and bought a house. I wouldn't have stairs maybe minus a few bedrooms insinde because i'd want my parents to be able to live or visit without climbing stairs as they age. They've been giving voices more today.

Reading in Origins of the Gods how crosses were found in South America as a cultural symbol a thousand years at least before Spanish missionaries. Also Hancock cites that Egyptians used very similar cross symbols thousands of years before Christianity. Decades ago I recall wondering what the significance of the cross truly was like did it symbolize some social formation political control formatative representation like I think Christianity and the bible are a symbolic representation of a technique of rule control heavens or celestial control rebellion and underworld with a "fallout" aristocrat from your org. So cross could symbolize social control at 4 points with blood sacrifice. anyways that was my thought ....I just remembered Charlie Daniels' name. I suspect that the titanic was some sort of secret society symbol to denote the rise of the "Olympians" or like a new powerful aristocracy and cultural programming in the West. Perhaps they are intertemporal and traditional twelve olympians is reference to Majestic 12. They use "dirty dozen" in my monarch program to say that I am supposed to sleep with twelve honeypots. Other times they do like !!! and 38 49 etc or like 3 hearts and such to message me to sleep with three womnen and then B or A will be interested in me. Or they'll have an attractive woman in grey or white which connotes the same messaging. In a dream they said "do you want to win or do you want to die?" because i think often if i had money some terror group could convince somebody to kill me. But I think not actually. Money would just afford me the ability to live a life of self direction to some degree ability to care for family contribute to society. kinda like anybody, buy me some space to live foot in door of society where I'd be wanted at least somewhat or more. like anyone else in our society money does this for you. security and such.

When I look at jobs to do. I quite often pause on early childhood education jobs, as something I may be capable of if i got some education in it. However as a Target by cointerintelligence program I would be hesitant dealing with children and be accused of mishandling them and molesting them or something. Like changing diapers and such. I think i have the patience for children and enjoy them. However an additional problem is that I am kinda ptsd and brain damaged. I don't know if I have the right energy for children and I don't know if it would be fair for children to be around me or rely on me as a source of care. It's really crazy I am looking up volunteer opportunities and the voices harass and chastise me for finding things of interest or not. Like i don't think they know the level of creep they are.

Targeted Justice rep was asking on facebook for people to write to Jim Jordan and tell him how being a target has impacted your life or something along those lines. I don't know where to begin. #1 I'm not sure where the targeting beigins and ends. Like I think it ruined my interpersonal relationships, made me isolated disabled, brain damaged, financially destitute limited my professional development and I'm considered insane by society and treated as if I am diseased and genetically inferior. It's caused me trauma by abuses. Made me distrustful of other human beings, damaged my sense of self or identity. And this is just the basics of it. Stolen my ideas taken away privacy shared my intimate moments and whole life with strangers who then harass me dehumanized me. Treated me like a lab rat used emotional bonds and revoked them made it so that i didn't have emotional bonds like a monkey experiment. Treated me like a sex trafficking victim at times. Treated me like a human trafficking victim. Turned basic human activities like eating food into life and death terrorist games. Irrevocably gave me shcizohorenic outlook on reality. Drugged me with possibly damaging medication, tortured me physically and psychologically, depressed me, controlled me like a robot slave. took away years from my life decades and ruined them, was effectively a eugenics operation considering i am not economically capable or have the social capacity for loving relationships necessary for possibility of having a family. violated my human and political rights. Made me think that even with the brain damage and limitations placed due to the program I cant trust working because an organized group will try to irritate me or harass me covertly and i may look crosseyed at someone or something and then get fired by HR or something actinng like tyrants get mobbed out of a job driven crazy. Treated me and my life like a pawn to "expose a problem"

Since I’m a target and other targets have been infected by hiv, purposefully I’d need any partner to get tested, which would mean that I don’t necessarily trust them which means our relationship is wrong and a failure.

7/7

Health log

Walked2.4 k steps at 830 am. Ate garlic bread,, strawberries, cottage cheese with blueberries and walnuts, yogurt pistachios.’ Bean salad, bagel cream cheese. 1700 calories. had avocado half. 1800. Cottage cheese 1900. Walked 5.5k steps and I have headache when I alked around so skipping swim. today. since starting this log i have been getting less chest pain

Thought log:

Woke up this morning was a best man at a wedding and A was there in background and I focused on my hug with the groom and didn’t look at her so she walked away. Left.

I had this thought after being awake eating breakfast, that I’m so repulsive even people who love me hate me. B doesn’t like to show me compassion she makes riddles to do so while simultaneously not. I don’t really see the use of falling in love with anyone they will eventually hate me.

I question the desire by supposed communists who want to see the US fall or crumble because what overwhelmingly threatens to take its place is ultra fascists. I to me it’s like the Soviet Union supporting nazi germany invade America in wwII. I find it bizarre behavior. FOMO, remilk, real deal milk are lab grown dairy companies based in Germany Israel Spain. EU report cites weapons being developed out of the "emerging out of the national military and nuclear weapons laboratories" in the U.S. : include directed energy beam, radio frequency, laser and acoustic mechanism to incapacitate human targets. pg xix. I need to go over 6.1 again.. and learning about Janes Group which was instrumental in iimplementation and proliferation of 2nd generation 'non-lethal weapons'...Jane and Janus goddess i believe used often or pointed to in my program Jan janet etc. movies actresses character weaving plot details future past predictions etc. I need to re -read 6.3.4

Saw a home today in that Kensington Neighborhood for 1 million dollars. Minus the kitchen floor its pretty nice place no trees out front though. There's a whole section in EU report (from 2000) about race based genetic weapons viral and non-leathal bio-electric etc that could target specific dna types. They even discuss 3rd generation weapons being even more developed.

The Lakers always have like one token white player to sell to their rich white fans. Kurt rambis, mark madsen, sasha vujacic. austin reeves. Supposedly this is me.

On pg 64 65 of Monarch New Phoenix program marshal Thomas explains how frank Olson murder demonstrates how development of mind control are interywined with bio chemical weapons development, radiation testing and building of Manchurian candidates. “Mk ultra sun project 119 was foundation of all “non lethal” weapons programs currently active. Summary of five areas E: trchniques of activation of the human organism by remote electric means. This memo was dated august 17 1960 and when viewed with other evidence not destroyed, shows significant interest in radio frequency (RF) weapons and direct control of human behavior at a distance. This aspect of the research has been where the greatest modern emphasis has been, rather than chemical and biological agents , both of which violate existing treaties” I think I don’t have the right document cited I think I have cited the followup document I’ll likely have to change the segment of the ch 2 here and use this followup document report oh 65 of marshal Thomas book is actually related too I’ll probably include it. In origins of the gods it discusses how Native American traditions are most likely to have preserved ancient knowledges or ways because they weren’t influenced by east or west, I think they may be most likely to preserve ancient knowledge but I think there was global difffusion going back long ways, as seems to be evidenced for instance in parallels between viracocha and Jesus etc

Reading in exopolitics about how Iraq invasion was related to et presence historically and technology from et. Cans realized that possible cryptogram of Saddam Hussein or sad dom who sane who’s sane etc.. he looks like a combo of my uncles. I’m reading A language older than words and feel like I’m not in agreement that death is necessary and sacred. It was programmed to me by a designer whom I don’t think appreciated this type of existence or respected it. Sometimes I'm not sure about my thought that I would not have kids, because i think this feeds into my idea that its pointless to fall in love because they will eventually hate me. Like also if there aren't little half mes running around maybe they wouldn't think I'm cute or good. like nothing would draw attention away or back to that. Maybe this is messed up of me to think like this. Or maybe I'm just acknowledging to myself that that is a helpful thing, but not likely at this point so its all going to have to rely on my own draw longterm which seems like a problem.

This book is becoming an albatross. I need to find a way to finish it so I can leave my house. we are dealing with something here. Nobody wants to leave the house ever. Like its crazy to live like this.

They're saying I'm squintz from sandlot and B is wendy peffercorn. Sometimes I think its better to live inland because of tsunamis, but that's living in fear isn't it..Getting voices as I listen to music and work on chapter 2. They call me brooke like the attractive high school girl like as if women can't get enough of me, or they are making me like brooke hogan but its more like every once in a while they want me or like me. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a little bit proud to not eating meat besides fish or have the resolve not to because i've had some guilt about it for a while that I never adressed until seeing Derek Jensen's writing compel me through what I felt was my own psycho talking to me. But I also don't judge people that eat meat. I don't expect people to feel the same way. I also probably will in social situations like dinners and such at other peopl'e houses eat meat if they cook it. I don't expect this from other vegetarians or think they should. I just figure that I've eaten meat most my life and so what's another few meals. Since I'm not very social. I don't think this will matter much. I wonder now if there will be healthy or smaller options for vegetatian meals out and such, but i don't eat out much either so shouldn't be too big a problem. I'll probably get sofritas at chipotle now. they are giving me pain in my left middle finger saying FU!

Another weird synchronicity time travel intelligence thing John Meacham cites a Methodist song sung by a dying Ann Rutledge to Lincoln. It’s written by a Joseph Hart and starts off talking about being vain or vanity. Repenting etc. anyways this kid from my catholic elementary school who went to my high school hart high school was named Joe lackervain. When we were kids traveling in his car to basketball games the pregame music was devil went down to Georgia can’t remember the artists name. Any way monarch obsessively uses Joe as my nemesis and such in various or different joes.

Jennifer Connery was supposed to be my sister

7/6

Health log

They harassed me all day for basically substituting cottage cheese for chicken. This somehow is a major health defect. They don’t want me to be vegetarian.1800 calorie chipotle chips strawberry, then had half cup of cotttage cheese so 1900. Negative at gym mostly. Wasn’t too crowded. Did weightlifting 33 min bike 42 min elliptical burned 500 calorie took 20 minute walk with no step counter. Whatever other steps throughout day than put on step counter at an additional 1k steps since 3 pm

In reading Derek Jensen he talks about the “dance of death” in killing his food and sometimes roosters fight and scream and you know It just seems like there’s something in his words compelling me to give up meat, maybe I’ll just eat fish on occasion. Seems psycho. Immediately after thinking this I picked up fingerprints of the Gods and read about statues or depictions of the "fish man", found in South America and Mesopotamia. Don’t know if this means fish are sacred or if that by decision to give up meat and only eat fish on occasion is favored by universal intelligence. They’re saying through dopplegangars that A and B think I’m awful.

I'm reading the EU Report on Crowd Control Technologies from 2000 States in section titled New Bioweapons for Crowd Control: "evidence emerged during the course of this study indicating that advances in neuroscience modelling of receptor sites in the human brain coupled with knew knowledge of the human genetic code(emerging with the Human Genome Project and The Human Diversity Project), is already opening a path for malign use of the biological sciences for targeted human control. Whilst the research is still embryonic, there is risk of behavior modification, race specific crowd control weapons and area denial technologies emerging with profound implications which need to be further assessed in both current capabilities and what the results of the projects might mean in terms of state of the art, which is rapidly changing. Given that the EC has already agreed to ban any weapons which directly work on the basis of targeting or otherwise interfering with the operation of the human brain, a new STOA study is proposed, covering the potential malign implications of human genetic modification research and related genome projects on human control weapons of the future." A little later in report it discusses need to restrict 2nd generation crwod control weapons such as kinetic, acoustic, laser, electromagnetic frequency electrical disabling and paralysing weapons, unlesss legally binding are forthcoming both from the manufacturers and the government agencies deploying these weapons about their alleged safety.

Maybe Biden is just going after the cocaine vote.. I've never wanted to do cocaine because I saw doctor photos of how it puts holes in your brain. These people are the killers of spontaneity all they care about is you being in a routine

7/5

Health log:

I ate extra ribs last night so they started fires in canyon country, they’re going to have a new Trader Joe’s out there. I ate about 1800 -2000 calories today walked about 5k steps. They’re trying give me negative riddles and feedback for eating. I plan to swim in a few hrs. I walked about 6k steps then lost my wristband so I bought another for 20 dollars. I had left it at the gym. I swam 20 laps 14 crawl 6 kickand 10 minutes on elliptical did shoulder press. They had a guy do 17.5 lbs obnoxiously to make fun of me so I did 20 lbs there was no option. I don't really want to do more. I'll probably try to go back to 17.5 next time.

People think they’re really cool when they wear white which means to me go away and sleep with 4 gangstalkers. I talked to my uncle and he suggested that I watch a podcast by a guy named Lex Friedman and this guy Andrew Bustamante who is supposedly "ex cia" and its all about the Ukraine war and such. I am of the opinion that Michael Salla is correct and that these wars or cold wars and antagonisms are all a charade for cover covert cooperation in Managing ET or Space colonization or what not or covert programs related to UFO phenomena and technologies breakaway Civilization or control by Breakaway Group as Dolan and Zabel name them in their After Disclosure book. So I'll give it a listen but I don't think I can handle 4 hours of talking about it. The only podcast i really liked for a time was Henrik Palmgren, but he went all white nationalist which I had semi suspected when listening to him a decade ago. I don't think I could ever write a biography because I couldn't throw a bomb off on all my relatives and friends when remembering everything or remember things in ways that would offend them. Also due to the medication I don't have a very good memory. I'm thinking of adding a book on Operation Gladio to the rotation. Mostly I think I'd remember things positively but who knows some thing could offend, but I guess people are already offended by my existence and see me as a monkey or labrat to practice "science" upon. Family is coming to realization that we can’t trust healthcare providers out here. I wonder if you can anywhere. I saw a news story that showed Ireland was one of the most well off countries in the world. It didn’t have a huge income average but like cost of things and poverty was down propert for instance I don’t think is astronomical, I’m not sure the metric used to determine this. Singapore I think was the most well off

I really hate this culture of using people like pawns to “expose a problem” they said the other day they want to see my sister do one of these thought logs. The reason they haven’t said my brother is they’re probably afraid of his. They had dopplegangar of B say I seem really nice nice and it creeps them out.. they had Jeanie buss leave Shaq off all time most important lakers for Phil Jackson as reference to A leaving me out of people they wanted around a few years ago. I don’t think I’m that important or supposed to be in fact I think I may have said so in early logs but I backed out of their life to some degree at one point because I thought they’d be better off a second reason is that I would be like a fake friend giving advice when I was romantically interested in them which I probably could pull off as a human so idk

I didn’t know how to wade into this Karen thing but it is done to mock a lady or refer to a lady with that name who was a family friend, I hope they don’t have to internalize it more now if they didn’t know also it’s been used to dehumanize white women like the way osama or trump dehumanized Arabs and white men.

Zelinsky zel in sky cryptogram could be reference to Denzel Washington who could be cryptogram predicting that we would have den built at our house that we are adding a bathroom to and facing resistance to and hitting a snag. Also I really like Denzel Washington as a teenager and he appeared in that movie about deja vu time travel etc. I think one about robbing a bank with diamond the analogies and plot seemed symbolic with Clive owen. You can’t just fall in love with someone because you want to fall in love with someone.

I tried to accept all changes from editing on ch2 I am going over the notes section of my editor's notes on chapter 2 and I am going to need to re-read a report because the way I have it cited is confusing, also what I unfortunately didn;t want to hear is that I'll need to find the pages in books for direct quotes. I knew that but pretended to myself that I could just do one of these books that don't do it. I may change what I cite in the report from EU. I'll have to read the whole thing this week. I may set aside my other reading for a bit while I do that so thought log will be less fruitful for a bit.

Chevrolet amalgam of Che revolt? “Chevy runs deep” commercials Chevy chase Khrushchev crush chev? To crush Chevrolet? To crush Che? Chevy with a crush?

Amal Clooney Amalgam clue? Cryptogram? Francois cluzel? My grandma father was Francois Grandma maiden name was Higgins means Viking. Colin Higgins directed Chevy chase movie foul play with Goldie hawn. Wuhan like woo hawn? Adam schiff proposed to his wife Eve in delmar 30 years ago today. Eve 6 just announced they are leaving California because of Wokeness. Eve 6 is named after an episode of X Files from 1993 where two girls a teena and i can't remember who else were murdered as part of a eugenics experiment or something identically or something anyways the name of the girls last names were Reardon and Simmons I had twoe kids in my class at that time named Reardon and Simmons. They were boys. I believe prince william is supposed to be this simmons kid and I am supposed to be Harry anyways reardon is a kid I punched eventually because they were trying to irritate me a few years later in 4th grade he was pounding on my backpack as we were lining up to go home at our desks, he flew back into the desks and fell down and all the class looked at me and I got embarrased and cried. I got a pinkslip was only real time I got in trouble in school My teacher was a lady with last name Melink my favorite teacher growing up. I really began to love reading in her class read a book called the Giver later that year David Reardon was stealing our class' soccerball and picking it up and running with it when we tried to play. I got angry and grabbed him trying to get the ball as I did that Simmons kid came jumping off stairs pucnhing Reardon this got dubbed "4th grade riots" in our memories as scuffles broke out. Reardon's dad was a sherrif. I sometimes wonder if I was experiemnted on at that time. Anyways in the Eve episod of Xfile the Deep Throat character is a guy named Jerry Hardin. My uncle is named Jerry and I have a cousin as well. The other eve's are all clones and try to kille the FBI agents. We had twin in our class whose father was the lead guy for the rodney king beating which started riots. I sometimes wonder if that was a staged thing or Mind Control.

I don’t know if they just made up these stories of Lincoln and Ann Rutledge, but strange parallels to me and such maybe some amalgam. They had a trainer smile and say high to me again at gym. I wasn’t really paying attention I’m not sure if it was same one.

7/4

Thomas Pain is quoted in Jon Meacham's Lincoln book as saying: "I believe in the equality of man..and I believe that religious duties of doing justice, loving mercy and endeavoring to make our fellow creatures happy. I do not believe in the creed of any church I know of. My own mind is my church". I take a lot of truth from this sentiment. Apparently at local taverns when Lincoln was beginning his political career, thomas paine was passed around and Lincoln liked his writings. Lincoln even wrote a freethinking work declaring christianty false or something and his friend made him burn the book and said free thinking is not for one who is a politician. Lincoln spoke in christian vernacular because that was the vernacular of the country.. This is funny to me because solidified in his monument is that which gets ascribed to christianity. Lincoln thought there was a creator and that christianity maybe had a good effect on people all together, but he didn't necessarily believe Jesus to be God or equal to creator. In origins of the gods authors discuss that secret societies go back at least 40,000 years on earth. They discuss Massaum. Wagner group is like a reference to wag the dog movie and fake wars. In yesterdays log talked about Michael salla writing that Cold War was charade and that Soviet Union america cooperated clandestinely to combat or manage ET presence. I thought of having a Coca Cola at Target yesterday and then there were reports of cocaine found at Whitehouse

In Area 51 book it discusses or author discusses how pilots would try to get closer look at CIA spy planes. So cia devised plan to spook the pilots bu dressing their pilot in gorilla masks, supposedly for fun but it seems at some point ridicule was involved and psychiatrists. So to me seems obviously coordinsted. In Language Older Than Words, Jensen talks of an army man from the 1800s who spoke of fighting or massacring Indians he said “I long to be wading in gore” Jensen remarked that this guy “was no lone lunatic, he had an entire culture for company” Jensen then states that the major newspaper of the time in a local mountain west community had 10 editorials in a year calling for the extermination of native Americans. People are saying that Indiana Jones Ending is "unrealistic" i don;t know if this is because they used time travel, but I'm reading in Parrallel Worlds by Michio Kaku about time travel theories and how in theory it is in fact possible according to universal properties that are believed to be true. So I know also that there was in fact a public testing of these theories in a sense when a university sent particles of light back in time.

People like to sabotage a person treat their life like a science experiment, give them brain damage and everything a person does and then ask them "so what do you do?" Appearently my moms favorite neighborhood is Arroyo Seco in Pasadena or South Pasadena. I think it’s a little remote from ocean for a neighborhood if you have the luxury of choice in a neighborhood. But it’s nice I’d move there if I could. I don’t really feel celebratory on 4th of July because I don’t think that society actually believes in what the ideas behind the day are about, they don’t believe we are equal they don’t believe we deserve freedom, they don’t believe in people having a right life liberty and pursuit of happiness, they don’t believe in constitution or the fact that the American revolution currently culminated in consenting to human rights through consent of governed Geneva conventions. So I don’t really feel like celebrating with people. I don’t know what they teach in school now but I don’t recall Native American genocide being as forcefully taught as nazi holocaust. And Hitler actually said hey I like what you did with the native Americans america we can learn from that. And scientists in nazi germany were friends to American organizations. Extermination campaigning began in America nazi history is American history. Sure there’s nuance in that there’s those opposed to Nazis.

Science is not my strong suit. I used term Hispanic the other day because that’s the term used in the statistic. We are in fact celebrating 4th but I’m watching baseball as my observance. Somebody pointed out that you can celebrate the 4th in America where you won’t have healthcare. So it made me think that maybe we should have paid that tea tax. My grandmas brother committed suicide and so did her best friend when she was 13. Makes me think that she was possibly experimented on.

I found out today I’m related to a MacTavish in my family tree going back far enough. Mactavish is the name of an actor in outlander and I read his book with Sam heughan. Two fighting chicken hawks landed in our backyard. I had been thinking about graham mactavish father and grandfather fighting as he discussed in his book one was socialist one was communist. I think I remember correctly. Animals likely brain controlled by AI so don’t know if omens more likely or less likely.

They had this adams guy spit at me on the field on diamondbacks. He’s supposed to be Adam schiff who is maybe supposed to be kid Adam when I was in highschool. I thought this guy liked me sorta he would call me little Hercules. He was good but he quit and maybe was doing so to try to get me to quit. I thought about it, but decided to continue through 4 years. Adam was there this one time that this guy tried to irritate me and I sorta lashed out .the kicker. That’s why they call me max mad max etc russel crow was prediction cryptogram he looked like me played Maximus in gladiator. looking back I was likely experimented on max is for maxing out weightlifting we were weightlifting. So maybe they’re say Adam was investigating me. Some weird thing like that.

It’s funny I’m the worst golfer but if I hit like 1 good shot it keeps me coming back for like 3 rounds. Sometimes I’ll hit like 3 in a row and think I’m getting the hang of it. Then I’ll suck for two straight rounds. I’ve only ever golfed at verdugo , Los Feliz, Roosevelt, and weddington van nuys. Never out here. Someone reminded me that in our current formulations psychopathic billionaires inevitably control economy and society.

7/3

Health log

Ate Chicken and chip and dip, yogurt pistachio, blueberries, chips , bean salad, feta spinach egg white wrap, 3 slices of cheese. Swam 15 laps, 15 min elliptical, shoulder dumbells, rows. 1800 calories sausage 2000. 5.6k steps. I was operating on 4 hrs sleep today, but took a nap in afternoon.

Thought log

Harari writes about an experiment with monkeys that demonstrated monkeys have an instinctual need for emotional bonding deeply wired into their being through evolution. I’m a monkey of sorts and the monarch program damages your emotional bonds. People weaponized emotional bonds with me. Marshal Thomas writes that the Cold War was a “secret war that was started by men who would stop at nothing to win” Michael salla says Cold War was a charade hiding cooperation between soviets and Americans in managing ET presence. So perhaps a secret war was started but the targets were chosen for reasons besides Cold War suppositions. Thomas writes “ the nature of these patriotic crimes are largely unknown due to the cult of secrecy created by us intelligence agencies but certain crimes against the American people and crimes against humanity can be identified namely the subversion of democratic institutions and the race to control the human mind” my memory is shot as far as retrieving information. Possibly the brain damage. Voices said “cut the crap” “you fit in” “you gotta get out of here”? The double white percentage leaving California to Hispanic could be that white people feel more comfortable leaving California for rest of country voices said “you’re working too hard.”

Top states I’d want to live in

1. California

2. New York,

3. Maryland

4 Washington

5. Massachusetts

6. Arizona

7. New Mexico

8. Rhode Island

9. New Hampshire

10. Colorado

Top cities in California I’d like to live in

LA, San Diego, San Francisco, Santa Barbara, San Clemente.

Top neighborhoods I’d like to live in, Los Feliz, pacific palisades, studio city, Westwood, Kensington, lajolla, South Park, or somewhere north county sd,

I was feeling heavy brain fog today and just feeling a step slower than everyone. I often go to drivethrus and food places and don't quite understand how people could be so competent and quick. I think this is because of brain damage that I don't see myself capable of doing these sorts of things. I just think I motor skills wise and thinking wise, process slower than others and slower than I used to. I used to have more confidence in my capabilities. I took a nap this afternoon since I only slept 4 hrs last night after the gym and I feel somewhat better but there is like always a pressure in my head a ringing and now a small chatter that I seemingly don't notice until I'm silent. I still have a good sense about myself and world and so this makes for some beneficial element in writing to some degree. I thought this the other day that I have some talent in way of thought but that it is marginal at best. I don't know if I am alien possessed or like possessed by Universe I think it lets me operate though independently some. what the AI is doing with me I'm not sure, could be overwritten by Universal Intelligence.

Women not A or B who I intuitively think I’d like is a lady at Trader Joe’s who has a face that just says intelligent nice etc it’s a peaceful face. Another few women who seem too young thought if I’m thinking clearly. But I don’t know them. Then there’s the woman trainer at the gym who is nice has a warm disposition and energy about them. They had another trainer look at me and grin today. Maybe supposed to be b. Maybe herself. I’m not really interested in the trainers like that. They could just be the gym mental conditioning of monarch like the other ones. I don’t really know that I’d be romantically interested in the women. Maybe I’d just like them

7/2

health log

6.8k steps at 7pm whatever that burns. 37 min elliptical, 37 min bike. 500 calorie burn. Ate about 1600 calories. Turkey and cheese so 1900 maybe 2000. Weightlifting. They had women smile at me at gym. Don't know why. Something to do with log.

Thought log:

Where does religious freedom end? “ I need everyone to say a prayer before I give them a cheese burger “ you want my service? Do you believe in God? My god? The Indiana Jones movie posited that a nazi contingent would have to go back in time in order to alter history in order to win the war. But what if they already did that and the victory we think we enjoy is a covert nazi victory? I don’t really like the hotdog eating contest. I think the new Indiana Jones may be symbolically Astra Taylor. There’s a likeness. They had a bunch of women smile at me today. They also had women wear white which means go away and sleep with 4 gangstalkers. Last night the voices said “it was predicted with exact precision.” Don’t know what. I was redoing my bibliography for the book or notations and I've done them wrong. I need to do Chicago Manual Style. And the 3rd note is an article citation written by Mike Mcphate. In 2007 I came across a Charlie rose interview with human terrain system anthropologist Montgomery Mcfate and Sara Sewell. At the time I was struck by something manipulative or seemingly mass manipulative about it. The interview was conducted discussing a great “paradigm shift” in military affairs and mcfate cited the counterinsurgency manual which is what the interview was about withp regards to iraq and Afghanistan, as an inverse of the Powell doctrine but in the interview she kept saying inverse to emphasize the concept almost like a code. Anyways later when I read the Targeted Individual victims dismissal in the New York Times as “mass delusional” I was struck by the authors name Mike Mcphate. I know that the TI program is counter insurgency or counter intelligence. I was reminded of Montgomery Mcfates name. And so I happen to be communicated to in cryptogram often or I decipher cryptogram often. I recently in other logs discussed Transgender General Rachel Lavine and the way she seems a combo of my professors Mark Lavine and Dr Rachel Sarah Otoole. Anyways there’s something about fate they are drawing attention to here with mcphate mcfate. Also when I was a kid the highschool basketball coach in 9th grade was Mike Montgomery so Mike mcphate montgomery mcfate. I ended up being depressed when this coach determined me to be not good enough and I stopped playing basketball when i should have just kept playing parks n rec. So perhaps they are saying that was my fate I don’t know some occult thing. In previous logs I discussed how sadam hussein cryptograms and osama bin Laden and Zelinsky are possibly cryptograms. Sad dom who’s sane or who is sane? Oh some have been laid. Zel in sky. Donald manzel mj 12. All this talk of fate so i got an itchy palm and bought a lotto ticket. Its somwhere 400 + million which I guess is 270 if i have that right. So when it's this big plan is 70 million in a family trust. 28 million of which is immediate family. I kinda took control of the winnings in my mind today. I sorta capped off immediate family at 7 million a piece like me..so i don't know if that's right I sort personally determined thats all i'd ever want. 200 million to homeless and or farm workers. I don't trust the social justice warrlike footing people are on where they target white liberals. I think it is ostensibly being done in the name of social justice, but really the motivations lie somewhere else. I think it is like a coordinated targeting of people and done to create division in society amongst liberal or left minded people. I’d probably give a couple million to friends upon a winning ticket. Since astra Taylor is like supposed to be new Indiana Jones and they are referencing Taylor swift henceB does that mean B is by degree new Indiana Jones? I guess I’m supposed to be Roy Cohn as a 12 year old. I Whitney Webb book. Peter Otoole was in Lawrence of Arabia in beginning of Indiana Jones Harrison ford is yelling at a Larry. Otoole was also in Supergirl the actress in supergirl was maybe prediction of B. So Dr Rachel Sarah Otoole they call me Peter for Peter Pan. A is supposed to be Wendy. Lawrence of Arabia was what? Colonialist I never saw it orientalist? B I think is tinker bell. They had celebrities talk about faeries after I asked in previous log what was fair in economics of capitalism and communism. I’m not saying that if someone doesn’t go to university that they aren’t intelligent or necessarily dumb, but there is a lot of stupidity in America and i don’t think that less education is the answer. Supposedly California is going to be upwards of 40 50 million people in coming decades but there’s like no new UCs being built.

I don’t quite experience the same type of hostility as I did years ago now, but I did experience hostility because I was white and opposed to a black president in California appearently the amount of white people leaving California doubles Hispanic and I don’t know if that is due to being generally upset with californias economy politics by particular segments of white people or if there is not some extra curricular to try to drive white people out of California.

7/1

Health log

Blueberries, donut, chick salad sandwhich, chips cheese salsa 14-1500 calories. Walked 9k steps at 1130 am.

Thought Log:

I had written and then erased that I was beginning to think that brain control artificial intelligence technology and such was alien tech going back thousands of years or used for thousands of years on earth and that the secrecy and agreements between aliens and our clandestine government was related to this that the Aliens had reason to want to remain hidden. They have some sort of combo A and B lady at the gym. She has a nice disposition and is friendly. I had said that Monarch will throw your life into turmoil destroy you mentally financially and such then be like "you need to go on a date" I’m going to see Indiana Jones today I guess it’s by a different director than Lucas and speilberg. I enjoyed Indiana Jones was a little long and had a lot of chase scenes Nazis basically hunting them the whole time. The actress that they are likely handing off the franchise to was great with the kid. Harrison ford almost made an 80 year old punching people believable.

6/30 got erased. unfortunately it was one of my better logs so

thought log:

I had made reference that they had a bunch of buff guys at the gym today and tried to make me feel guilty for being open to A or B. If the AI is not manipulating me and one of them shows up one day I'd be interested in them. Neither talks to me in fact nobody really talks to me. Except family. and like a few friends. I think each has a view of me or what I'm supposed to be or some vision of what I'm supposed to be and I am not that and I would need them to accept me as I am which is damaged now. Also I wouldn't want to be considered diseased insane or genetically inferior which is what the implications applied to being considered schizophrenic are. I had read about the Luxor in Egypt in Fingerprints of The Gods. I remember liking the Luxor in Vegas for some reason, i also liked the Venetian and New York New York. I'm not much of a Vegas person, but its ok I can enjoy it. Im not much of a gambler with money. In Origin of The Gods the authors discuss how a John Keel wrote that we are biological antennas traversing through an electromagnetic spectrum and are tuning into it like radios each affected differently to different frequencies and such. In a Language Older Than Words jensen writes eloquently of the way Decartes and Francis Bacon posited or championed a dominant cultural belief in dominating or controlling others and nature. I was reminded of a number of years ago and thinking how I thought that humans could evolve to such a level that we traverse the wild and predators leave us alone because we emit an energy that does not threaten and communicates with nature, and we could transcend "laws of nature" this way there are in fact people doing this with lions and such now. Jensen discussed communicating with coyotes in the book and later talked about insects being outfitted with robotic packs on their backs and being controlled by humans. My imagination did not include robotics and remote control. Some logs are better than others my thoughts aren't always good or i have better days than others. I had said "No friends' yesterday in the log but really I have a few friends i just meant essentially in response to anthony mackie. they keep insinuating that I need to move to texas so I can sue the government because Targeted Justice is in texas and such. I'd rather live in California on disability or minimum wage than move to texas as a millionaire. Thats where Kennedy got it. I guess RFK was shot in LA, but he wasn't presidnet but RFK Jr lives here now and is comfortable enough here now. What you deserve and what you get are often different things. In an old newspaper declaration from the 1830s it declare that Jacksonian Democrats felt "The world is governed too much" Bush gave a speech in front of Jackson's statue and i think that the Targeted individual program is conducted with that underlying motive.

6/29

Heatlth log

Chipotle burrito chips strawberries, chicken about 1950 calories. 7.2k steps. swam 22 laps 16 crawl, 6 kick.

Thought log

The voices said “ the world did you dirty” last night. I woke up to a dream of debri falling out of the sky where I was sitting right before I moved. This would be accomplishable deliberately if some mathematicians put their minds to it. I don’t know if I should buy this Astra Taylor book or not. Like is it some cult thing? I think maybe it is. They had Brook Lopez on nba today with a cartoon character in a yellow T T shirt giving the shush signal yellow means insanity which means they want me to talk. I’m supposed to be Brook like Brooke hogan and there was an attractive girl in highschool named Brooke which I maybe interacted with once I don’t really remember much just an incident with three cheerleaders on a bus but I don’t really remember anything. Rocks got thrown at our bus once but I don’t remember if it was this incident or not. For some reason I remember 3. I think they must have been nice to me once or something. Anyways I think their code is to make me fit like Brooke or something. In Origins of The Gods, the authors are discussing Carl Jung and his assertion that the UFOs were maybe something visible only partially on the electromagnetic spectrum. The author goes on to discuss The Trickster archetype throughout history cultural memories tales and such. They have B doppelgänger as a “Becky grant” because of “key” connotations I discussed in earlier logs it was a way to harass and trigger me. Grant is because I discussed my professors yesterday and their combined transgender general doppelgänger Rachel Levine. I had received a grant when I first went to college. So they’re saying B doesn’t like you or B is 😡 people with their dogs is like kinda influencing the way we deal with humans we keep them around expect love and loyalty then just discard them when they are old get a new one. Doming German pitched a perfect game in response to yesterdays log and email to family which I can’t share. I bought a book on Norse Mythology and they had a commercial come on about El Diablo burger at carl's jr. I went to catholic school and lived in suburb of LA. Not very many black catholics out here at that time. I had black kids that I played with at boys and girls club, but most of them lived outside the valley and would only visit in summer, but I basically have no friends. I don't really have friends. The friends of harry potter Ron and Hemimy are predictions of my uncle and A. PEopel will weaponize friendships and differences and then say Hey why aren't you friends with such and such people? I kinda want to see the new Indiana Jones movie I enjoyed the most recent one. Indiana has the most lotto winners so maybe the universes intelligence is saying I’m a jones keeper upper, not really I’m just a bit disabled damaged by this program and need money like anyone else. My roommate who I suspect was part of iso takedown op would also always sing “something is happening here and you don’t know what it is do ya mr Jones.” By bob dylan

They had car go by and backfire. They did that submarine thing because I would never go on a submarine except at Disneyland. I probably belonged in some future new aged reformed military. I follow directions but also I’m sorta peaceful but I have killed people in my dreams. Maybe not I don’t know. Also Jorge Ramos is supposed to be me in Lost as Hurley and he won the lotto, so I'm hoping this is written in the stars at this point. Hopefully I've already had my bad luck. Maybe I once had that thought that I'd be unlucky if I won the lotto so it got to the character. But Now I don't think that anymore. I feel lucky. On second thought I don't belong in a military. I belong in a Pub or Pastry shop. I had remembered and read a bit on third way politics in20th century and nazi connections, I’m reading a book on Lincoln, and came across writing on thirdway that discussed people being opposed to debt and I had talked about having no friends earlier in todays log and while returning from the gym a car in front of me had “I’m a loaner” written in dust on a Lincoln car. The most magical places I’ve been are probably old man Storr, glacier natl park, redwoods, Edinburgh, cliffs of Moher, Dingle peninsula. Irish villages. Rome and sicily London Dublin. California, grande canyon. My mentality was tainted at 18 going to east coast with the war going on in Iraq. But There was something magical about the cities there. I enjoyed Lincoln Monument FDR exhibit. there was something magical about statue of Liberty and seeing Manhattan, Boston's history. If you offered me a home at 18 or free education I might take home and educate myself. But I think culturally or as a civilization we need both we need to educate widely and need housing as a right. When I chose my university for education I chose UC Irvine because I felt it had greater diversity than UC Santa Barbara. It was a main factor in my decision. I also don't know if today if people would have similar feelings now that race has been operationalized and weaponised in psyops and psych warfare around the country. I think some of what happened at the supreme court is related to that. I personally still would choose the same thing for the same reasons, but I also think that im more welcomed than say a moderate or conservative.

6/28

Health log:

Pistachio yogurt, ice cream, chicken, bean salad, chips, hummus, guacamole. 1800 calories. 30 minute bike, 40 minute elliptical. Weightlifting I’m leaning toward trying 6 days a week at gym since it is turtle method. 7k steps at 645 pm. at about 1950 calories.

Thought log

I woke up feeling my real deep down self where I just was tired of putting up with the bs of this program and the way it treats you like a lab rat I’m really tired of people. I was angry and beating the medication this is the self they suppress. AI made me yawn in yawning attacks in response. I worry about my younger family that have so far escaped the takedown ops. At about 4 or 5 I plan to read rest of my books outside. Read in Origins of the Gods about Archtypes and Carl Jung dismissing UFOs and such. He would fit that of the intellectual bullies discussed by zabel and Dolan. In AD After Disclosure they discuss The Breakaway Group it seems like much of the world according to Dolan is managed or influenced by this breakaway groups power. I may be misrepresenting Dolan in my thought. Derek Jensen points out in A Language Older Than Words how Jews and rest of Germans went on pretending that everything was fine when it wasn’t during holocaust or lead up to it they denied reality. He then goes on to discuss how when scientists experimented on animals they would cut their vocal chords to avoid hearing their cries and screams this functioned as a way for the scientists to deny reality that animals are sentient with feeling. Cutting off people from being considered sane by mental health institutions is a way to deny reality in a similar way we just pretend that someone doesn’t discern reality and that their determinations are not anything to incorporate into reality they are considered not a part of society. My view of the breakaway group intersects with my view on borders and such I think that people should have access and enjoy benefits of wealth and technology of empires that extracted wealth from their countries and world. I think humanity deserves access to technologies obtained by select elite of breakaway group. RFK Jr tweeted out a Truthout Article about MK Ultra and Mohawk Mothers in Canada. Documents were released pertaining to this. I thought of posting this log on facebook and they showed a group of Americans at a 4th of july celebration and someone lights fireworks and it malfunctions and explodes their car and such and they all leave their lawnchairs and go running in fear and chaos ensues

The first Picture is of My Professor in college professor Mark Levine, The second picture is of my other professor in College Dr. Rachel Sarah O'Toole, the third picture is of Transgender General named Rachel Levine. The image and likeness and combination of their names of the General and the professors is a common tactic that the military uses to make commentary or psychological jokes about people in my life. In fact some of you may have seen your name or likeness used in politics, sports or in entertainment.

6/27

Health Log:

Ate Slice of Turkey. Have hip pain this morning. Putting me out of commission. I plan to walk 10 k steps today no gym. Hip pain has subsided. At 9.3 k steps today at 415 pm. No weightlifting. I ate chicken pesto wrap, Pistachio Yogurt. Breaded Chicken, Chips and hummus, cookie, chilli. I think I'm at 2000 calories. Had a conversation with my uncle about neck pain, shortly after this I started feeling neck pain today.

Thought Log:

Voices said “ you’re a pric” supposed to be B. I had hip pain yesterday and this morning. Then I was listening to willl smith men in black song it says “walk with me take a walk with me” and so I did and no pain. Voices said “it’s a bad game” Rick Scott warned socialists or communists about going to Florida. I already was never going there. If I am one. In the book Origins of the Gods in the chapter All Things are Connected there is a discussion about the Ohio Earth mounds and the author points out that ancient peoples built the mound to align between 18.61 years with moon. 18 and 61 were coded numbers used in my program pretty frequently. It's taco tuesday today. I make tacos. My dad does rice and beans. I don't read much typically on this day and i think i'm going to forgo gym on tuesday and do 10k steps instead. I think I should add Rick Scott's declaration to my chapter about various political motivations for Targeted Individual program. There's alot of faking of deaths in this country and I think they go into breakaway civ or underground. It's possible Jeffery Epstein was one of these people. I think it's maybe done to perhaps recruit people into War theatrics or cultural productions Big Borther land afar quagmires and such never ending wars in which the pentagon then funds breakaway civ at least that's my speculation. The voices said "you are stupid" earlier. They sent out the message "the universe is in love with you" I like this message better i think, Appearently 2 dozen more whistleblowers have made sworn statements since Grusch made his. I think if I had slavery or found out I had slavery in my family I would view our mentalities differently. like I would probably be more critical of them. I am to some degree like it doesn't matter in some respects whether you had slaves or didn't you still are inundated with ancient brutality at least in ideation in this country. Hidden atrocity... and absurdities. Went to an Irish pub out here over the weekend it was really nice we got there as it opened. Going to work is probably going to be like being in a psych ward and that drove me crazy. Being in the targeted individual program is like being in an abusive cult. They don’t care how they affect you they destroy your life and health because of your cultural or political beliefs and act like they are doing it to make you healthy and loved they even convince their moron people of this.

6/26

health log

Ate chicken salad sandwhich and yogurt pistachio, salmon, bagel and cream cheese, pear, chicken sausage hummus bell pepper. 1800 calories 22 laps 16 crawl, 6 kick. dumbell shoulder press 17.5 lbs, strictly to aid in pool and some vanity. .

heart Healthy: Pistachio, Pear, Olive oil, salmon, bell pepper, hummus.

thought log:

I will most likely vote for RFK Jr but some of the things he does is sorta slimy. Like on the border making sensational appeals blowing the issue up and stances, but i suspect migrants are in on the charade.. i think something extracarricular is going on related to alien tech and breakaway civ perhaps even intergalactic and inter temporal. i also think if he were republican walking around with his shirt off filming himsel lifting weights to contrast himself from field our antennas would be up some among much of us, but he is basically saying ok i'll play the game of this cultural edifice and appeal to people on this level. in some ways i like that hes willing to do it but in some ways it is unbecoming..reducing presidency to a pushup contest like biden did with trump. Last night they said “yes” either A or B I think b they then said “ you changed my life” I think the AI is making fun of me. They also said “ supernatural” given chest pain

My family is subject to a counter intelligence brain control program. I’m at the center of it. Just like Osama Bin Laden was a CIA op to combat opposition to U.S. imperialism, I think “wokeism” is a cia op to subvert historical truths and adaptations in American society.. My Professor in school Mark Levine wrote of starting an “axis of empathy” to combat militarism and capitalist inhumanity, there’s a general in military who was widely promoted that is a transgender woman. I think they are supposed to be a cross of my professor Mark Levine and Dr Rachel O’Toole. Bought lotto tickiet, got itch in my hand they said "supernatural" last night so perhaps some intergalactic intelligence is at play even if its a guy at a computer. They have sometimes angry looking gangstalkers get mad at me when I buy a lotto ticket, I guess they want me to be beholden to some org that treats me like a lab rat and discards me. they're doing something with the number 22. November 22. and I land on 22 often ending early in the pool have to pea lots of times. I usually go for 24 so I think that if things are intertemporal that those who killed kennedy are literally here now watching me in the pool. Very high vibe at the store. I had hit my marks for dieting and exercise went at 5 pm. Perhaps in response to that or in response to my writing today. They have doppelgangars of B and of suitors of B 1 suitor of B was very happy and talked like a cowboy greeted us nice. I had thought that perhaps there's a fifth column of texas people trying to move califonrians to texas or something. ANd this guy had a thick southern cowboy accent. also I made comment in log about RFK Jr acting like a meathead a bit and that is something this suitor of B would like. When my mom retires, I could get to work and contribute more I'm in a space where I can do this I'm about done with the book I just don't feel like adding more to it. I'm kinda mentally done with it. It could be better, but that would likely take too long to accomplish what I want to do with it and i have pressing matters now. I'll likely self publish, but If lets say I earn 30 k a year that could put our household income back up to comparable levels its at now or closer to it at least when my mom retires eventually. I just don't know about workplaces being a lab rat and such and having brain damage being older with no real skills. So perhaps when I finish book i can focus on skill building. I just got back into the idea of going to work around the Scottish Trip. I had seemed to think i got past the book project so I have a good system for my health going so I feel comfortable trying but I did just come out of a 1 month bout with voices and I trust nobody.

The Lakers are kinda operating financially and strategically as if AD and Lebron are 3 years younger. They are three years older than 2020 champ run and are not quite what they were. They are still good and capable of being central pieces to a champ run, but they need someon to take slack I think scoring offensively, they need athletes transition and defensively shooting. So I like reeves and Hachimura, they are good enough to score consistently on a nightly basis in the NBA, but I don't know if they are good enough to handle a big load on a championship run and cut the slack that AD and Bron need at this point in their careers. IN some respects AD and Lebron contracts are astronomical and I don't know if a good enough team can be built around the salary. I like Suggs and Lavine. Dream is Suggs Lavine Hachimura, but I don't think its affordable. I dk

Beginning of my book is "on october 22 2019, I decided to write this book" 22 came across a lady on twitter that has a pinned tweet about a neighbor being 44 miles away from water in Sicily and not seeing water it was made on 12 22 2022. She looks like attractive pool girl. And could be doppelgänger of B her name is that of a famous First Lady. When I was 22 I went to Sicily. There's a lady named Astra Taylor who is supposed to be B she wrote a book about Insecurity and collective action around insecurity rather than self care. Could be like a mind control thing to make me go into the world. Astra is supposed to imply breakaway civ intergalactic condoning book or written in stars etc. Taylor is for Taylor Swift and cannibal system writing i wrote long time ago. joke reference to jonathan swift. There was a guy named Taylor who told some women I worked with that we should eat homeless people he thought that was funny we were all trying to help homeless people the org was SHOUT Students for Homeless Outreach United Together at UC Irvine. The leader of the group asked me if I knew the guy because he told them he knew me. I did but not well. So I think they maybe didn't trust me much after that. Part of this program is to demoralize you by using humanity to treat you like a lab rat and then berate you when you don't feel too enthralled by serving people anymore or dejected at the notion of being abused treated insane while being social or participating in economy or civically. Like "what's wrong with you?"

Sumerians Su Mary-ans Mary the name for jewish rebels in Rome according to Joeseph Atwill At Will. Joe was the name of my supervisor at my last job where I was recruited and then mobbed, Someone said the UFOs aren't the most interesting thing about UFOs. I think this is true. They seem to have implications such as intergalactic space faring and colonization, breakaway civ hidden technological elite, Extra Terrestrials, possibly piloted by AIs or Interdimensional or even intertemporal beings. completely unexamined political structure and motivations minus a few attempts by some researchers. People will not have empathy for anyone and then act like their lack of empathy for a billionaire is an example of their rebellious humanity. I think General Mark Milley is for Milley Vanilli. Also as I said in reference to demoralization of you as a civic participant, power tells you "Hey there's a system in place to destroy activists and whistleblowers lives and kill them. So now we want you to get out there and protest and everybody will treat you like you are insane" are you motivated?

6/25

health Log:

I think my hamstring will be better today. I ate chicken salad sandwhich, pistachio yogurt, blueberry and oatmeal, salami, bean salad. 32 min bike and 42 min elliptical burn 500 calorie. I did easy elliptical level 1 level 3 on bike. Gym was kinda quiet they had attractive woman in gray it is a negative connotation color. 6.5 k steps at 730 pm 1800 calorie and salami slices, weightlifting.

Thought Log:

If Targeded Justice opens the door for restitution and I had the money I'd live in Studio City, Los Feliz or Pacific Palisades. Maybe my family would join me or enjoy having respite there. If I lived in Pacific Palisades with money I could protest regularly at the federal building on behalf of people not yet released from brain control op there's a nice pool nearby for exercise. Would that even do anything? Would a win by TJ at supreme court rectify that situation? Should I focus on homeless or housing as a right? or other issue? Would I be free yet? Am I protected by some Special Access Program while simultaneously tested weapons upon? I just have lots of questions and I don't know if picketing outside the federal building would answer them. I don't know if a payout would end experimentation or targeting. And if not i don't know how I'd be able to function in a social service org or political org. Maybe I'm done with that and I need to find something else to contribute to my life family and earth and society. Maybe I'd just be a tad less hermitic but still read and write more with solitude. How do I find my place in society? Its likely that Targeted Justice win would not result in me affording a lawyer proving my case. So then it goes to book sales after self publishing which is likely very minimal, skill building rehab classes and office job, (can I survive office politics? Programmed Schizo outlook? cointelpro experimentation?, unnatural sitting at computer? the other play is lotto ticket, which perhaps some intergalactic intelligence or power gives me luck or I get human luck, I don't know if they are possibly doing brain control with my mom's new hampshire thought,. maybe we will go volunteer there for RFK Jr. In some ways I like him more than Bernie and in some ways I like Bernie more. Bernie was never going to accomplish anything. The country is too influenced by gangstalking counter insurgency op. Maybe I should read more than 28 pages a day. I've taken a break from the book. I plan to get back into it this week and focus on it. I don't know how much from these logs I can use a few details I think refined. Once i lose weight I can worry less about that and focus more on other things. I've gotten chest pain today so still dealing with the mutilation and not knowing what they are doing to me. They're giving me head pain.

What I leave out of my book is that when I was at occcupy and the protest at Bank of America and the plainclothes protestor communicated by waving his hand to point to me secretly with the bald white cop on the gun and I spotted him he got really guilty and nervous that I saw him. At that point someone intervened and the group huddled as cops were encircling and a veiled message went out that “@someone who knows who they are is in danger and needs to leave the circle” I took this to be me, so I left I was then approached on a train by a woman doing directed conversation on the phone saying “you know you need to work with the police” I went home and while watching the laker game Derek fisher kept raising his hand in the air like kinda imitating the incident at occupy and the announcers kept saying he’s gotta shoot the ball and such. So I went to the LAPD station downtown and filed a complaint. Didn’t seem to mean much I didn’t mention the highway incident and threats from cops preceding it. I was then followed by people on the street making a coded message I developed with A when I thought someone was being annoying. All these people were doing this. Then that night I began hearing voices and they had an A doppelgänger appear in a gross prison dream that night.

It feels like people are selling us down river sometimes they keep having someone go by on annoying sounding bike and plane making depressing noises in response to this log. In battle for your brain Farahany discusses how in 2020 nato declared that they were developing ways to circumvent laws that could potentially prevent Cognitive warfare. They stated cognitive warfare was a new frontier. Nils Melzer short time after this conducted a UN investigation and fetermined governments around world were psychologically torturing people Melzer according to Farahany cites mind control experiments as examples of psychological torture. Farahany asserts cognitive war fare that seeks to obliterate identities personalities and mental functioning should fit definition of psychological torture. Reading in Derek Jensen’s A Language Older Than Words that Jensen believes Rene Descartes was a narcissist because he posits anybody not him wasn’t real. The NATO declaration was made by a Du Cluzel. Which seems like a cryptogram related to Donald manzel majestic 12, zel in sky Zelinsky, clue zel. They’re calling me a nerd with B dopplegangar

I went for a walk were I ever to move I would miss summer eve walks in the neighborhood with the pine trees and the kids playing at the park baseball and basketball. They had a dopplegangar of A on a bike in black look at me which means “you are fat but I’m glad you are exercising lose weight and I’ll give you a look” so basically a police insult. Cleaned my room some it’s sunday they had Muse Starlight playing on radio when I thought of possibility of moving to A it would play all the time. That’s something I can’t do anymore they’re making my heart flutter or skip palpitate

6/24

Health log

My hamstring feels better today. Still going to take it easy give it an extra day. I plan to walk 10k steps skip gym. I plan to eat 1700 calories. I ate oatmeal and blueberries, hummus and bell pepper, yogurt and pistachio. I’m at 900 calorie. With this hamstring strain maybe my body is saying 6 day exercise weeks is too much. Still feel tightness in hamstring. Ate 4 baby potatoes and a Guinness a hotdog meat only. some salami. I think about 1700 calories. 3.6k steps.

Heart healthy: oatmeal, blueberry, pistachio , hummus, bell pepper.

Thought log:

I was thinking people are big babies and now they are calling me a big baby. They keep having a ticked off serious old lady doppelgänger of B and it says “how to be with people” because I am introverted and not very social all the time. I was also a little bit not into group environments at work a lot I get distracted by 5 different conversations and a lot goes on in my mind. Some social anxiety I feel eyes peering at me. I like one on one. I also don’t like alot of annoying yelling and such all the time. If I think there’s positive group dynamics I can get comfortable in a group setting. I’m not much of a sit around and talker in group setting. And maybe in any setting. Conversation has to stimulate me on a deeper ascertaining of truth and not manipulation I think. I also just need breaks and have adhd. I started playing the Lottery sometime after a guy won 38 million dollars out here. He won it at a Shell Station. I never go to Shell. I go to Circle K. His name was William Walgamuth, the guy who won. Saw Wes Anderson's Asteroid City. As with most movies hidden messages to me from possibly time traveling intergalactic intelligence or organization. I take it that Wes Anderson was saying that we are in a movie or play life keeps going perhaps. I'm still processing. Another person won 5 million in a scratcher. So it is possible. Indiana wins the most. Actresses I happen to like and they maybe because they are supposed to be B Emily blunt, Scarlett Johansson, kaley cuoco. Singers I like maybe because they are supposed to be A Katie perry, Billie eilish. I liked Scarlett Johansson before ever meeting B. Sigourney weaver May supposed to be my mom they maybe put her on a “ journey” all her life at behest of aliens.

After talking about mk ultra and ti’s Farahany in Battle For Your Brain discusses how an expert panel with access to classified information assembled by The Biden Administration determined Directed Energy Weapons or Radio Frequency weapons to be the cause of Havana syndrome. The CIA then came out and said it was mass delusion or whatnot psychogenic and such. I don't think we are leaving California and personally I don't want to but my mom was watching RFK Jr in New Hampshire and said that if we ever have to leave California she'd want to move to New Hampshire. I personally would go east coast over most anywhere else when leaving California, but I think the cold isn't good for her bronchials. I also though am not a big winter person so for that reason I like the southwest. I'm really lucky to go to the gym and use the pool and facility. But I don't think I'm doing everything I should do with my life. Now there's factors involved for this. I have brain damage, i have limited skill, im in middle of finishing book, i started this thought log as an exercise to combat brain control harassment. If this Targeted Justice lawsuit creates avenues for restitution. I don't know what I'd do. I have my family here in SCV it is safe homy but a bit mundane I don't really leave my box. I love my family but maybe if i had money id live on my own or try it, however I'd eventually want to live with them again as we all age. Maybe I'd just keep money if avenues open in that department give to my mom for retirement of course first order. Maybe I'd get more serious about reading and writing. I write in book how it is difficult to be civically engaged when you are targeted. I don't see how you can involve yourself with an organization that doesn't acknowledge brain control tech implemented in society. Also maybe I'd stay here because I can't really trust society and at least id have someone to talk to other than myself here with my family. But we live in different realities or acknowledge different realities. I'm a bit perplexed this tonight. I don't know if I'd be safe living outside this house. I think I would. But I don't have to figure it out right this minute. I was looking at gyms in LA and the one here is nicer. So I have to remember I wouldn't be spending all my time at the gym.

6/23

Health Log: woke up with still a strain in my hamstring will have to rest again I did 9k steps just randomly walking yesterday. I have a hard time dieting whenn I don't exercise. due to the harrassment and environmental retaliation and controls I get anxious when I don't exercise. So I end up eating more. Ate yogurt pistachio, bean salad, chicken pesto wrap, salami sandwhich. I started going for a walk and felt tightness in my hamstring so I stopped. I've walked 6.5k steps at 5pm today. 3 lbs down likely not til next Sunday.

Heart healthy: olive oil, pistachio.

thought log;

after engaging in intellectual bullly tactics to dismiss targeted individual claims before presidential commission as mental illness, a tactic used in Soviet union, publicly adopted by US Army in 1972 to go after antiwar protestors, Farahany goes onto discuss how China is developing cognitive warfare weapons and systems. She cites the National /chinese Science Foundation treating the brain as "The headquarters of the human body" they state they need research on "the damaging effects to sensitive target areas of brain tissue by acoustic weapons and electromagnetic weapons. "brain wave interference" and "infrasound weapons" they say are being developed that "interfere with brain tissue causing insanity through resonance" what farahany leaves out and what i put in the book is that this focus on china developing these weapons is a bit of a rewriting of history because it ignores developments in the West going on more than 60 years time and according to Robert Naeslund, 80 years or more.. The voices said "studio city" last night like they are punishing me for thinking it. I started part 1 in Origins of The Gods and it is titled All things Are Connected. It opens with the date November 8th 2019, November 8 is my great grandmas death date November 10 is my grandpas birthday my grandmas birthday is November 9th. I think I remember someone else’s birthday as November 8 but I can’t say who. One of the reasons I went to work at the Art museum for kids is because my dad got mobbed out of a job with kids and part of me thought it’d be good to enjoy kids to show him there were other organizations to work for, but I eventually got recruited and infiltrated there then mobbed at another nonprofit. That job with kids turned out to be my last job with kids I later found out my dad was right to avoid going back to work as my next job was a cia takedown that I had to try to escape. In my most recent attempt to go back to work I felt a lot of anxiety due to lack of training and moving around, but what pushed me over edge was that they were trying to make me a bartender something I’ve thought of doing in past, but this was at an amusement park with teenagers where they explicitly warn you that you are liable for underage drinking or accidents and then being subject to psych social potential takedown I decided to run. I was also living with a cancer patient and covid was happening. Planes going by making all powerful doom depressing noises. I think Anthony fauci is an anarchist who made a mockery of government or at least that’s what they might be telling me. They’re giving me chest pain. I guess Kindergarten Cop the kid Dominic is supposed to be me. I once a while back before being harassed in overt ways wondered why at Universities that there weren't anthropology classes studying us or American society. like why did we go around the world studying other people sand societies so much? So Targeted Justice is saying that Targeted Justice v. Garland is likely to end up in the Supreme Court eventually no matter who wins these lower cases.

I think the Lonzo Ball knee injury is induced or faked to make commentary on the fact that I'm likely not to have kids. I wanted to call a kid Alphoso or Zistalpho if a boy. I hope people who want kids have them. I think that is great for people who want them. I don't think I am in a position to have kids and likely won't if i get into position later as I'll be too old I think. I don't want to die when my kids are young etc and then potentially be with a younger woman who has to watch me die in an older but still younger age. I've stated before that Schizophrenia is like a eugenics program in that it makes you sorta isolated distrustful and destitute so were you to find a partner that wanted that is a slim possibility. I have brain damaged and felt comfortable trying to get bacl into society and work only a few years ago, but didn't find the right situation and was psyched out by people who see themselves as psych warriors or something. They are gangstalkers. That being said Monarch has seemingly for some of the years been obsessed with finding me a partner, but my attitude is somewhat like if you throw a million women at me and tell me to sleep with a bunch are you really being selective? Like how do I even begin to get to know someone trying to control me or potentially harass me and meanwhile attacked by monarch driving me insane. And as I said it is somewhat a pacification somewhat a hazard and then you have to try to navigate that and seek a partner. And of course the past year they've been sayin A and B were interested and moving to where I live. Deep down I desire a place that’s quiet so I can read more and write some. Cryptogram? Roos Eve LT Roosevelt hoo ver hooter oo owl symbol secret society symbology all over dc. Scooter Henderson sc oo ter he’s using 00 as his number 007?

6/22

Health log:

I ate chocholate, Mac n cheese, pistachio yogurt, chicken. At about 1600 calories. Salami 1800 calories. The voices said “it’s the food” in response to a thought I had about cointelpro and work place, likely misdirection on their part. My hamstring is tight from something so I’m going to take day off exercising. They have a lazy boy commercial in response. They had people blocking me at the yogurt section today they were preventing me from getting yogurt and strawberries.

Heart healthy: pistachio, chocholate.

Thought log:

My dad has one leg longer than the other. It’s crazy that he was as good an athlete as he was in his youth. In Nita A Farahanys Battle For Your Brain she acts like an intellectual bully she has a section discussing targeted individuals and gangstalking testimony before the bioethics presidential commission she uses mental illness accusation to “deny and ridicule” she then goes into the documented history of mk ultra and the insane methods willingly used by govt institutions universities and hospitals and claims this leads people to think conspiratorially and have mass delusions. She does this even as she documents 140 sub projects that continued on from mk ultra. Marshal Thomas points out that the 500,000 people subjected to mk ultra mind control operations are Govt admitted estimate so likely conservative estimate. Mind control experimenters just use you and discard you like trash this is the way of the world. I was at the gas station and noticing I don’t have quick motor skills and feel foggy and I believe this is due to brain damage that doctors told me I have. People dismiss that there’s something wrong with my brain, but simultaneously tell me I’m not able to discern reality and have a genetic disease, so which is it’? Is my brain working or not? Tomorrow I start the chapter All Things Are Connected in Origins of The Gods. In returning to yesterdays or past few days log I had said that my workplace resembled a cointelpro op with coworkers trying to get me to buy marijuana on site and discussing this very loudly in front of former law enforcement personnel. Well with marshal Thomas’ contention that anti Vietnam war protesting was instigation of implementation of Monarch program utilizing gangstalking im reminded of my supervisor telling me that the govt doesn’t like anti war protesting and how he had been a protestor, then he was shortly after this fired his name was Paul. When you are a target in the Monarch program you are subject to a constant barrage of commentary and criticism of your thoughts and actions. They program your mind to function as is described by schizophrenia. The incident with the supervisor Paul and then of course I contend in my book could be done for exhibition as I write in book. there’s like a constant desire in me to visit redwoods . The govt knew I had thoughts in my head to mobilize homeless people politically, which looking at is like an impossibility they are busy surviving. They can’t mobilize. I just had a broken thought about it so they’d get housing. Looking at photos from tiahuanaco in which the symbolism of a cross was used thousands of years befor the beginning of Christianity halfway around the world and tiahuanaco has statue and tales of bearded man who shares many parallels to the Jesus story and biblical story

I had said in an earlier log how this brain control experiment blitzes you with planned takedowns and euphoric love bombing high vibe support. They are trying to take you to polar extremes and using trauma to bond you to people. The Thompson twins look like if my friend were black. Nobody wants to admit to what is really happening so I don’t know I can help them.

6/21

Health Log:

At 2.1 k steps at 820 am. Ate bagel cream cheese, pear, yogurt pistachio, chicken pesto wrap, banana, avocado. Swam 23 laps 16 crawl 7 kick. 6.5 k steps at 130 pm . I’m hoping to be at 185 by Monday and 168 by November 1. This seems doable. Have a little knee pain today. Not sure what from was at 1800 ate piece of chicken. At 10.5 k steps. I had 3 days off and something I did either 21 k steps or elliptical made my legs sore today.

Heart healthy: pistachio, pear, avocado.

Thought log:

In Homo Deus this mornin Yuval Harari was discussing how humans are becoming like Greek gods. We are reading minds, communicating at distance, traveling into space at great speeds. Possibly becoming immortal. The technology being hidden from us is immoral to hide and to keep to a few select elite. Reading in A.D. After Disclosure how the author cites denial and ridicule operations used to dismiss anybody who had knowledge of or who had witnessed ufos. The author goes on to say how denial and ridicule is so effective. I just started rereading Monarch The New Phoenix Program and it discusses how the Soviet Union adopted a modern technique of institutionalizing dissidents in mental institutions and diagnosing them with mental disorders while using electromagnetic weapons to pacify them. The author Marshal Thomas goes on to discuss a 1972 US Army paper that was written as part of a study of this tactic for its implementation against “traitors” or “domestic enemies” in the United States. Thomas contends that this type of program started in the US to target those who opposed the Vietnam war. Opposition to the war was seen by military brass as a treacherous act by the public which cost us the war. Marshal Thomas goes on to discuss how the attitudes of this brass is identical to Hitler and nazi ideation about German betrayal by communist and Jews in ww1. Thomas also lays out how there was already through Military Intelligence Division coordination and implementation with Vigilante groups through the American Protective League and then later the Mafia to keep an eye on suspicious activity. Mirroring to some degree nazi development in Germany. Thomas contends how these vigilante groups and criminal cooperation demonstrate how an organized crime can develop and maintain secrecy. In other words we have a system in place in which authorities with criminal nazi ideation wage war psychological and physical then accuse people who are sane with being of schizophrenic ideation as we witness the operation. Wha A.D. After disclosure describes as intellectual bullies then deny and ridicule anybody describing this system.

They had an B dopplegangar walk by and say I’m friendly and happy personality like it’s a bad thing. Came across an account on twitter that said treating someone like a project to fix is not loving. They had a lady on tv to remind me this is a global phenomenon. I just joked that I’m a tattle tale. I’ve said before When I win the lotto :) I’m going to keep 7 million and give rest away. If it’s a lesser amount I’m going to help my parents in retirement. A few years ago or awhile back I applied for a job at a natural history museum i was really interested in this job I got selected in for an interview it was a group interview and I just didn’t feel like getting the job over a single mom who was applying. I still tried but it wasn’t something I wanted like that bad. Competitive system is stupid in that it pits us against eachother for survival. We are supposed to be a civilization the point of which is to cooperate to make life in the civilization better. When I was a kid a girl I had a crush on since the 4th grade in 8th grade was struck by a drunk driver while out jogging. She survived. I’ve always suspected that event was related to my program.

I got itchy palm. Bought tonights Power Ball. Saw a job in Carlsbad that was an office job that wa s 30 dollar an hr range. WHen I complete my book which I have a professional editor helping me with it. (I may self publish). I'm going togo to rehab department and see if I can get office training since I'm almost 40 and I struggle interfacing with public since being harassed and being mind controlled giving me schizo view of reality permanently. I'll likely look for job here. They have planes go by making positive and negtive noises. When a plane goes by making depressing noises it means power is gunning for you when planes go by with positive noises it means I'm on right track everything is going to be good or get better. I'm in backyard and summer is not in full swing yet so birds are out chirping I'm sitting in the shade. Theyr'e building a studio out here not far from Master's College. Well I'm not trying to make assumptions but the attractive Swimmer was there today when I swam again. I was there at a different day and time. So brain control or just dealing her. She is graceful and they monitor that I notice she itched her shoulder which was their telling me i need smooth shoulders or to build shoulder muscles. So could just be a gym girl that they send. They keep itching my shoulder to say she's mad

They made me remember a kid named Ben from childhood who was a really good basketball player he was younger than me. He quit or walked out of his high school team it was like a walkout with other players. I’ve suspected my brain experimentation cost my dads job Bs job and almost others as well. So power is like “hey Dominic. There’s a covert system to kill activists and whistle blowers destroy their lives so get out in the streets and protest it by yourself while we call you insane.” 👍 there was a target who said their gangstalkers gave them HIV or AIDS it’s kinda like Monarch wants to give me aids they want me to sleep with a bunch of women. Petential hazard dusguised as pacification. I painted my room a light purple and like a week later the neighbors house painted their trim the same color purple outside. And like nobody thought the coincidence was weird just that the color they chose was weird. They have a doppelgänger of A sitting on a couch she is thin wearing black which means “you’re fat” she’s playing a sad song on a guitar watermelon something which is supposed to be about Billie eilish because there was a photo of her in a bikini. A is riling or eilish is A. I find that years long debates in writing are more beneficial in attaining comprehension on an issue than hour long forums of speech. I stated earlier in this or last log that I plan to try to get a job in an office eventually since I’m 40, but I’m not sure about that. Working in offices seems unnatural or in front of a computer 8 hrs a day doing administrative work seems unnatural and like it drives people insane couple that with workplace politics which is like a fascist clown show. It’s literally politics, like cointelpro showed that the reach of political organizations in the government can target you at work. I've experienced this in at least one workplace which I have discussed in another log, but when I was at a non-profit that builds houses for people I was I beleive part of a takedown operation 2 coworker, 1 of which I had suspected to be a spy who infiltrated my previous workplace and whose mom worked at the pentagon, this coworker and another talked very loudly about selling marijuana on a worksite, in front of retired law enforcement personell then tried to rope me into it. At the time Marijuana wasn't legal yet. Also the worksite was run by someone whos kid was going into the FBI so needless to say all very suspicious. And since I've been subject to mind control operations and Monarch Program, which seems like very obvious what happened to me now. I started Derrik Jensen's A language older than words.. which is kinda weird because i've read part of it before but today they had a story about Jensen Ackler playing batman and I was trying to figure the meaning and also they primed me with Derek Lively story blowing away Lakers with shooting. I looked at the bookshelf looking to ad a book to read and that book kinda jumped out without thinkng of the names.. so brain control or something. Which is kinda funny because his communictaion with animals could be aided by cybernetics and bio brain control.

6/20

Health log:

I'm going to return to normal routine today. I hope to be 3 lbs down by sunday from 5/30. I did 6 k steps at 4pm. 33 min bike 12 minutes recline bike, 35 min elliptical burned 500 calories. Got hungry ate some meat left over. I ate chipotle burrito didn't finish all of it. Ate small amount of pesto piece of chocholate. They had people at gym talk about dying and missing their last hamburger. This was directed conversation. It was with a gangstalker representing what I'll call a Black J they have J who is a family member they follow me around with black versions of him because as I had previously discussed after characterising Obama as a dancing black cowboy they began running operations to try to make me jealous of black men. They would operationalize race and use Black women to symbolize A siding with Obama or dating black man or somestupid thing like that. So now they have black J to say that J is either done with me or siding with BLM or some thing like that. So I discuss in my book how I am for BLM and such but I am critical of this operationalizing race by the state to target people psychologically. Mostly it is funny with black J. Ate some croutons. Walked 10 k steps at 915 pm

Heart Healthy: Avocado

Thought log

I don’t care what A and B look like as what set them apart was their personality traits, minds loving nature energies and how they treated me. I’ll be attracted to them and they happen to be beautiful and I’m drawn to their presence physically. I’ll probably stop talking about A and B so much because it’s like once I’m recording my thoughts it’s like instead of thinking about them I’m talking about them. I’ll share some but I’ll try to share less just like the way they are used to approve disapprove of my actions control my mind. Voices pretending to be A said “ I love you” A said “I love it” the voices had A say “you’re a nut!” I don’t know I could be with someone calling me a nut. I finished Waypoints by Sam Heughan it was a very pleasant read. It is sad to put the book away and finish it. It’s like losing a companion. Heughans style is like having a friend tell you about their day or life. I read a section in Nita Farahany’s The Battle For Your Brain which discusses her suspicion her dreams were tampered with. And she cites a very open public example how Coors beer company tries to do this with their advertising. I have my dreams controlled I get very vivid dreams. It might be some Alien tech or some new tech humans developed I don’t know how they do it like do they send a coded DNA resonant frequency or something? What were dreams previous in history? They are so weird they are like being in another reality. I enjoy my dreams now. So I think this aspect of my program improved much and is beneficial. The voices said A “is a follower” I don’t know what to believe I’m just going to record my thoughts in this log for the reasons given in previous logs. I also share how A and B or others are characterized in media so they can potentially sue or be aware of manipulation monitoring

I had discussed how there is a weaving or key involved in movies that predict my life or the past and future or use people from my life predicted events and such. A microcosmic example is the way Jaimie was chosen as the character in Outlander or the character from the book was borrows from Doctor Who. Name of actor name of character etc. I can't remember now how it all was woven. I had discussed in a previous log how they tried to program me in the psych ward with a woman who shared vocal and physical qualities of previous women they monitored I was attracted to, they dubbed this lady LL short for lady Lovelace. Anyways the TI lady kathrine Horton was possibly targeted because she looked like this woman. Horton could be reference to ufo scientists named Horton Brothers. They say the I’m making bad music with my thoughts by having bad music on the radio. I'm reminded of how I determined years ago that characterizing all europeans in the world as white was part of a global domination power project of homgenization. ON some level this led to greater cooperation and peace in europe eventually, but was not good thing elsewhere with racism. So I don't know about identifying as "white" and what that means its like an erasure of histories that the global power project doesn't want people to remember like particular histories. I see this as particularly true for the American experience. And now in europe it is functioning as a tool of division.

Years ago I wanted to invest in vertical air taxi company Lilium and now they are being used in China. They are being rolled out. I was reading in Homo Deus and Yuval Harari was writing about our desire to attain happiness and there was a section in which he states that social standing is a big element to attaining a mate .this made me think when you are considered a mentally Ill diseased person like me you have trouble attaining social standing and money. This limits your prospective chances with women in many ways. Pretty negative at store you just can’t trust anyone these days.

6/19

Health log: ate cream cheese bagel piece of chocholate some chips at about 750 calories. Ate about 1800 some chocholate at 12k steps at 240pm at about 14 k steps 330pm. Didn't leave my house today. 18 k steps at 6 pm 19k steps at 740 pm 21k steps

Thought log:

Had some more thoughts about About my a father movie. They sorta spend a major focus of the movie making fun of Italians and maybe some stereotypes while kinda hitting white people over the head or rich white people rather as the Italians are the heroes in the end. It was relatable as a semi white semi Italian I’m 6percent English and 37 percent italian. So I think I lie somewhere among each side to some degree. Because I’ve had my livelihood taken I relate to both sides and relate to the leisure side in the movie but because it was likely taken by a deeply entrenched bunch of American establishment and I’m Italian I relate to the Italian side of things. My mom thinks for that characiture of white rich people that they did a nice job of not making them phony. And that they loved their children and family. And they were accepting of people. They have a B doppelgänger to say she is upset about About My Father movie. She’s wearing a blue dress. I didn’t make the movie I’m not chracterizing anybody like that. I nearly took a “real job” at Wyndham before deciding against it. I took job at Art museum. The good kind of chaos with all the children and creativity really lightened my mental load and sparked positive energy in me.

I wasn’t really that into people in high school and jr high or women like there were girls I was attracted to and liked generally but I wasn’t crazy about anyone. I also was generally unhealthy not real good self esteem social etc. they like to remind me of Trevi fountain before I met B because I made a wish to be with A but that didn’t start to possibly be true til later when they came back around but I had just tried to move forward as a person from the heartache and it wasn’t the right time or the timing was an obstacle. hence orcas brain control reference. It kinda bugs me that they imply people need some sort of special scenario or perfect scenario to talk to me like my life is some stupid directors movie. Like I’m just a fricken regular schmuck. We don’t need a perfect scenario to communicate. A and B doesn't mean Plan A or Plan B it is just a reference to identify each as the chronological order in which I met them.

The voices said “don’t give up” and “it’s not your fault” about Enola gay and operation Dominic. So being kinda nice. I think the 2012 Super Bowl was the one Madonna did. She was representing or mimicking B like a prayer was the song. She said everyone must be alone, they were making me believe my voice was something people wanted to hear. Because I like A and B voices. Voices are something that draws me in often or are an element. I think this is something that resonates with my understanding of a person. After A got pissed at me A visited and I was invited to their gettogether with other people there. I was very nervous and that day the Monarch Program revealed that they knew where I was goin what I was doing and who I was meeting, specifically that I was meeting with her or a gettogether that included her. I was approached at the train station by a guy that looked like Pat Robertson and he stated that someon should assasssinate Barak Obama and Arnold Schwarzeneggar. I figured this guy was some sort of law enforcement. I was aware at that point or had my intuition confirmed that I was subject to an operation that was interfering in my relationships with others. It was confirmed that i was in som psychological battle with the government or political organization of some kind. I was also nervous because I had been depressed that year dealing with it all and I didn't look very good and A looked great. I didn't know how to approach and apologize. I was also approached by one of A's friends and told I didn't have a "real Job" as i had been doing construction for the non-profit building houses as part of an AMericorps program. They had song on radio that said California rest in peace. And a uhaul truck, it seems like someone wants us to leave California. They had a lady in a Utah shirt as well. It seems like this takedown op was coordinated with moving movie industry to Texas. We are not going to Texas. We are likely staying in california

My family member edited Chapter 2 of my book. I feel very fortunate to have them do this. I'll take a look at the edits tonight. I'm likely to keep all of them. I'm not much help to a family member right now who needs it, but I've nudged some what I could. Also my brain activity is possibly why they are being put in this predicament. the more i take in the bigger the hole they face:

Hunter Brown did terrible today, but at least the Mets won, I root for them as one of my secondary team its a bit of osmosis or something if thats the right term because my brother in law is big fan. I'm not really wedded to my writing style i don't think. The last 3 chapters i'll probably try to keep as is as much as possible because I'm trying to provide documentation of writing i had done in the past with much of it as circumstantial evidence or rather to provide as potential reason for being targeted.

I'm big on Lavine Not too big on CP3 as a starter. I think he can still start for a team but i just don't think CP3 Reeves and Lebron defend well and i don't think it’s quick enough. Like Lebron and CP3 are both 38. I didn't shave today and they have an old bearded scruffy guy scare off women he sits next to, so they show him getting a makeover in a video on facebook. They would only know that by monitoring me in my house for the targeted advertisement.

Some things I don’t know if I should share but at one point the voices and gangstalking were using all women in society to sex traffick me and take away all my choice with women. And they were demanding through coercion that I sleep with their chosen gangstalkers who they unfortunate to judge were extremely ugly They would torture me with demeaning “go away and learn to f*ck” and other phrases and anger to drive me insane 24/7 this led me to consider visiting a legal brothel in hopes they’d subside and women and society would stop and the torture would end. I actually asked a friend to do it but they decided not to because it made them uncomfortable. I became glad later that they didn’t. And I have more freedom now than I did then. They know I feel guilty about being driven to that point and follow me with Tahoe trucks and such. One of the things they would do to blanket the environment was use coded directives lik 3 hearts or 3 exclamation points ? Marks numbers etc

I’m supposed to be Johnny Depp and B is supposed to be amber heard they’re half the time trying to pit us in conflict. They had Meghan fox flipping off camera to say A is mad. This log was kinda cathartic. I have to get the history out sortof necessary. One of the ways they would try to coerce me is constant barrage me with messages that nobody will love you until you do. When they’re not telling me B is going to meet up with me and is romantically interested they tell me she is dating older men they’ll have B doppelgängers in the stands of baseball games with fit good looking old men. I’m younger than B and once she called me a man child it didn’t sound like good in my mind.

6-18

Health Log: I was 2 lbs down yesterday i may be about the same today. I hope to be to 3 by next saturday. I'm taking today off. I didn't diet or exorcise according to plan yesterday so they made dodgers lose 15 -0 which means not hot and ready because 5 means hot and ready based on little caesars pizza from a few years ago.

Thought log:

They’re saying I’m trump and I snubbed B as Marjorie Taylor Greene. I’m just getting some organized history thoughts out. As they program me. I think B may be most likely to treat me like I’m sane. Because I think it’s possible they still like me and the AI is telling the truth. But I also simultaneously suspect they don’t. I still have feelings for them, but I just think like it’s a difficult thing for them to want me or to be with me. I feel like an intuitive sense that I could be compatible for her and love, but realize I’m in no position or think reality is that’s not likely to be in their mind etc. they keep flashing Dan akroid in my eye to say your competing with a linebacker intellectually roided out anarchist. They simulated B saying “this pisses me off”

This brain control experiment uses planned blitzes and takedowns in between euphoric love bombing high vibe support. They try to push you to polar extremes. Feedback is that “ your opinions are shit” I remember my dad teaching me how to dribble a basketball. They showed graphic images of Ugandans shot and killed on the news. And I don’t think they show that kind of footage of non Africans and definitely not people Americans kill. They’re saying the pool woman swimmer is into cognitive liberty. People here contested pride month comparing it to a “gang” problem. And I’ve never encountered a gay gang. I’ve been gangstalked for decades and sure a few may have been gay but it was the whole society, but that’s the only gay gang members I’ve come across in my life. They flashed “toxic fish” in my eyes. I eat farm raised or try to. Maybe I should stop eating fish. The voices told me I’m not going to heaven. They keep trying to make fun of me because I would wear plain white t shirts and that song was about me making fun of me. And B thought that was bad fashion. I don’t wear them anymore. I looked up Providence Rhode a island real estate because in case we have to move, but I think we probably don’t no matter what happens. I don’t think cold whether are good for my moms bronchial anyhow.

I think punky Brewster was somewhat based on my sister and I think Daryl was somewhat based about me or predictive programming. Billie Eyelish is A, Blake lively is B so is the Loki in the Tv series I’m the male Loki. Emily blunt is b. I’m not a woman so I don’t entirely understand but sometimes it feels like no makeup challenges are like no makeup beauty contests or trying to expose women who use makeup..the people on tv are often deliberately trying to bug me, but my mom has it on all the time. I spoke of cryptograms the other day and then later share that I think Saddam Hussein is sad dom who’s sane or whose sane?And osama bin Laden is sam been laid or some have been laid. Sam being what they call me others for Samantha in sex and the city. Zelinsky Zel in sky reference to donald Manzel. I find Eisenhower and Eisen at Disney to be interesting too. If Eisenhower were around today he’d be considered a hoity toyty liberal. People come people go some grow young some grow cold- Tom petty. They’ve timed this trump indictment with a shift in my program including a takedown op on my family member. Everything’s bad because they hate America, but I love America- Trump brainwashing over and over. Emma Watson is supposed to be A. Both A and B were represented in Harry Potter. B was the blonde girl that befriends Harry. I think Harry is supposed to be me and my siblings. I was also supposed to be the bully cousin and so was my cousin. My uncles were supposed to be Dumbledore. Parents the parents etc. I was also supposed to be the kid that runs across the bridge at the end who was kind of a doofus kid in the earlier shows. Malfoy is supposed to be a kid from my class who like to pick fights with other weaker kids. But it was predictive programming like it was from the future and the past at the same time. Hence Victor Webanyama and Victor from psych ward that they programmed me with and wanted me to compete with. He had muscular forearms.

Love Actually was amovie that predicted names of actresses characters personalities etc of people from my life in the future as well as events. A and B are represented in this movie as well. I don't really remember everything, but I have previosuly stated on twitter how this microcosm of this move shows or is representative of greater pattern in a massive amount of movies and like a key or like weaving that is linked up to Dr. Who movie about ALiens using the earth as a farm to test out war on humans and such and time travel. Hugo Weaving in The Matrix is also reference to this weaving of characters names and actors names etc. Neo in the Matrix was born on 9/11 and this is connected to Twin Towers and being short.

I sent a message into IPS employment group about getting training for a job a a schizo affective or schizophrenic. Haven't heard back I hope it went through. Haggrid is also the same as who they based bully cousin off of. I remember learning about peripheral fascism which is where the empire runs bank funded totalitarian violent experiments in control around the world and then perfect that and implement it through pressure and interaction at home. Daniel Ellsberg referred to America as a covert empire that countries appear independent but covertly they are being controlled by global oligarchal system.

Captain America is like a combo of me and my friend roger with a used name in the character. I used the Alias Steve when being interviewed for occupy because I didn’t trust anticommunist orgs reading paper( I now know they have our brains on file) or any vigilante. I was also bucky Chris evens are names of kids from my school. It could have been predictive programming or time travel from the 30s. They at least used the current parallel to disclose tech today so maybe ai bio brain control is supersoldier technology. I let them down because I’m not as fit as Chris evans but my friend maybe is so he took over.

The orcas is because I would be happy with either A or B I’d be fulfilled or love either. But don’t think they’d want me anymore. So they brain control or-cas to say they were brain controlled to to approach or ram my boat at same time. I think at least. They’re having an A doppelgänger say I was a train wreck for a really long time. This makes me upset. I had discussed cryptograms the past few days and when I left my house there was a car that had Enola alone written on the back so two spellings that when reversed spell eachother this reminded me of enola gay or the atomic bomb. I think the Enola gay operated in a way to say I’m gay for remaining alone until I reside with A or maybe I was gay in their minds until I met A. There’s a movie title Enola Holmes. It’s about Sherlock Holmes s daughter or something they sometimes call me Henry to say I’m in a henroost as a rooster. Henry cavil is in the movie. I was a bit of a detective examining Richard engel discussion on bill Maher about hen stealing and Thomas Carlisle “on the negro question” I was simultaneously making coded joke like I believed propaghanda does. With their pointing me toward Enola gay and such I’m reminded of Operation Dominic which was a nuclear test. And so this is the aspect of my mind’s inquiry that freaks me out on numerous levels. One is the potentially raving madness of my brain control experiment and life cost and mthen to a lessser degree but deeply personal is how this thing is so huge that I must always be considered insane or diseased. There’s too much power that seemingly is devoted to that end. It’s like a universal creed for humanity. Don’t acknowledge Dominic’s sanity.

I saw So About my father I will say I enjoyed it. Thought it was good. There’s some messaging in the yellow dress at end they’re saying some of the themes acharcteristics of the characters may have not been sane. But don’t know what exactly. Sebastian is a name they give to people to reference cruel intentions, but they go light actually. Perhaps there’s some reference to my dad saying comedy was the last bastion of truth or music. Not direct parallels but some inspiration from family and life I think. I was reminded of gene Hackman name being a cryptogram. So movies he’s in should be noted. Gene hacker man? Gene hack man?

6/17

Health Log:

I did a 100 lbs on the chest press yesterday it went ok i did 3 sets of 8. I don't know what My most was as a teenager somwhere between 205 and 185. in bench press i believe. I should have tried to slim down then but I didn't know anything about nutrition and exercise. I just knew it was hard to run heavy and i wasn't hydrated i don;t think. Also I may have been messed with by the biohacking but i don't know in any event running got alot easier in college. I never lifted then except military press, pushups and curls. I didn't want to be bulky I had enough of that as a teenager. Made it to 2lbs down today I took some days off had a set back but more or less I’m losing a lb every 7 -8 days. I wanted to be there Friday it’s Saturday instead. The effecitvely made me leave gym all the elliptical machines i like to used were being used even though the gym wasn't that crowded. My heart rate was up 10 to 20 beats more than usual i think i heated up in car and on way in. So I just did 33 minutes on bike. I've walked 3 k steps so far. 12 k steps

Thought Log:

They had a Eunice woman in a Metallica tshirt to remind me of how I wanted to become a Eunach previously when I was being trotured. I;ve stated in previous logs how they basically due to me being a man treat me like the only thing I need is sex. Community, family, money, social life or standing equality etc they just kinda dismiss They simultaneously build up my ego and then ravish it. Because they view this as some sort of soul ascension or some bs some tweaked infantile distortion of some sort. But anyways back to the previous desire to be a eunach. During the torture years they would program me with attractive women and the berate, demean and harass me or ridcule me while simultaneously stimulate me. They would use my sexuality against me in a perpetual manner to the point where I wished I didn't have my organs for sex. I actually contacted a doctor about it but decided not to. Which I am glad i didn't. Now as I said because I am a man they think i need nothing but sex but I'm not tortured any more just treated as a diseased crazy person with faulty genetics which is a terrible feeling when you aren't crazy as I said in the last log. They had a picture of Rome and clinking wine glasses to tell me to whine or not whine about fact that we probably won't get back to rome it doesn't look like that is in the cards for us. Voices csaying "you're too Short" I'm staying awake and the voices said "beautiful choice". I said in the las log that I'm always going to be schizophrenic regardless of reality. Like if the targeting program I'm subject to and mind control stopped, It lives on in my programming. I'm never going to be able to take in reality a different way. I'm stuck with this schizo programming. That No Hard feelings movie is about me, but I don't think My parents set this up though once i had the thought and so they ran with that and made it a movie. They're saying I'm like a Sumo wrestler. They have sumo wrestlers now. I have a distorted view of myself i have dysmorphia. This is partly because they wage a war on my psyche and build it up and tear it down. But then act like they aren't doing it. Some of it is left over from years of it previously maybe it isn't so bad now. They have a Rachel Martino in disney with a guy who is my healthy alter ego. He is taller. Friends was predictive programming. Rachel was B and I was ross. Monica was A and I was Chandler. This eunuch memory is a bit brutal I can’t believe I reached that point. It’s crazy how life can go to crazy to good again. They may have had the Eunice girl in Metallica because she looked like friend from college and my professor I liked was into heavy metal. The doppelgänger of runic whom I decided aligned with my life because we were in same country. I had feelings for her. She once said “I love you” but then appearently didn’t want to or didn’t register. I didn’t say it back and thought I should say it I thought I was being a coward. So I said it, which they didn’t like it was kinda in dramatic way I guess. I was just feeling like I was letting down. We returned to friends after this. I was always more into A but they left country and I was working out all this alone in my head and heart I had real affinity and love for both as friends. I cried when A left. When I went to see A a second time thinking in my crazy head I was pursuing more than friends and it seemingly ended romance dreams and thus continuance of friendship on same level I had a panic attack. I didn’t want to lose either thing. I thought I was going to die. Subsequently I started working for farm workers org in Santa Ana while living in Encinitas then got job at museum. I was telling myself I didn’t want to pursue anything else with anybody else at that point. I thought I could wait out rocky patch and A would change their mind. I love the muffin man song. Anyways that’s when I met B whom I was afraid of falling for. And this I think bugged her. Because I guess I had she I think got frustrated with me. Sorta ditched and came back around when things changed for her. I was sortof not myself but I was somewhat happy being around her all those kids and people. I was also being fulfilled on some level participating for peace and Justice. It was sort of a mystical time for me. Then people were sorta more obvious with their harassment and infiltration of my work and experimentation. I don’t know why they’re putting an image of me an B at Disneyland I don’t think B likes Disney land I do. I actually prefer California adventure. All while this was going on I had one real friend. And I don’t want to give away their identity to strangers but we lived together in college and then they gave me a discount price to live together in Encinitas I blew it on some level leaving Encinitas because I made myself easier to harass. Like I needed to go to proper San Diego on many levels. 1 was not having a car. But encinitas was beneficial and living with my friend. One of those decisions I guess. I had a couple other friends who kept contact with me would call me during those years as well but I’ve since scared them off with schizo programming. They keep flashing Scarlett Johannson in my eyes and they had adoppleganger of Scarlett Johannson and Colin Jost at gym.

I like Lillard, but I don't know what else you can get. Maybe Lillard is better than Lavine? Idk. If you get Lavine you could have Schroeder Lavine Lebron AD and another. What's the roster with Lillard.? Lillard Beasley Lebron, AD and ? I've restarted Monarch: The New Phoenix Program by Marshal Thomas. In the lineup of other reading. But I just don't feel like reading today. I think this partuclar log is making me anxious. Lotta trauma, but it has to be kinda written down I think. They removed almost all attractive people or women from my environment in response to this log. Kinda a retaliation.. I wanted to get my dad a chair for fathers day i was intent on doing so taking him so he could sit in a bunch at Ikea and pick one, but he says he doesn't want one that it won't make a difference for his hip. So now i need to scramble and find something.

They had people appear bored and disgusted at today and yesterdays log. When I dsaid actresses secrets should be public treasure I mean their health routine or practices. They’re saying that A and B think I’m boring. And I think this is true. I don’t see America as a place where communism is possibly ever going to be a reality. Somiletimes I think when someone who thinks communism is the best idea doesn’t support anti status quo or vote for reforms that push the US left or advance values leftward I don’t really trust that they are for what they claim to be for. It feels like communism is used to push people right and undermine reforms or leftward development. I don’t look forward to going to work and be totally immersed in this fascist clown show. It’s funny you google finding a job with schizophrenia and it takes you to all these jobs studying schizophrenics and labrat pharma jobs, it’s like people can make money off us but there’s like virtually nothing listed that helps you get a job that doesn’t involve being a pharma lab rat. Like dear monarch I’ve never wanted to become a drug addict.this thought log is infinitely better than what I was doing on twitter but twitter was more palatable to people. When A left the country I remember having very strong feelings about how countries and borders shouldn’t determine human relationships or life pursuits love etc. it had influenced how I acted with her in country and my mindset. Maybe that was good or bad I think bad. They keep trying to make me think I’m in competition with a guy named Chris. There’s a few Chris I know from youth. This is because I’m not for competitive dominationn of culture political economic system and social relations. They’ve had women try to get me to compete with men they have sports simulate some competitive battle against all these random dudes I’ve known in my life. Teams of us competing against teams of other dudes some women too. Some of the personal things I haven’t shared before because I’m embarrassed by them on some level I don’t know I simultaneously privately embrace my mushy feelings and situations but I don’t always tell others because I well basically don’t trust their judgement I think because their judgement can’t feel me. This is a detrimental trait on some level. In fact I’m actually embarrassed to share my schizo programming and thoughts about it too as well as reality it can be embarrassing to share thoughts. But I enjoy some level developing and getting them out. The algo rhythm shared someone saying a miracle will happen to you at 17 hr ago. 17 is indicator that I will get just compensation for this experiment damage etc. My past experience with the Eunice lookalike or friend from college and with A and my feelings for A influenced my mindset and behavior toward B which was probably bad. But then again they really broadened my consciousness so maybe it’s a complex thing. I guess I have to include that at one point the Eunice friend from college expressed that I creeped her out when I returned the I love you a day later. I don’t know if I should look at this as gaslighting since she actually used those words first. But I consider her a friend and would never want to do that. Gal gadot is supposed to be occupy woman or occupy woman is supposed to be gal gadot I don’t know sometimes who’s imitating who? I can’t be too attractive to women who watch me live my life like a Truman show it’s pretty mundane.

I don’t know why but they want me to remember red head woman who worked at the psych ward named Amanda they know I found her attractive liked her personality. She said she doesn’t date patients. (Another guy asked) And I’m not exactly sure about psych ward staff. I think it’s likely they’d treat me like I’m diseased or harass me. My sister said today that she does notice the weirdest people around us when we are out. Like today they had this guy do the gangstalking body posture clown thing and wear a tight yellow shirt that said "Too weak to quit" and he was flabby with weird died brown hair. He made weird eye contact and looks etc. William and Harry are supposed to be me and this kid named will from when I was a kid.

The 6/16

Health log:

My uncle found 80 dollars. Someone left as code to tell me if I lose weight my family and I will have good luck and finances. It is some coded AI thing.. I ate poke, chicken salsa avocado, strawberries donut little potato. 23 laps 16 crawl 7 kick. 8k steps.

Heart healthy: fish strawberries avocado.

Bad for me: donut.

Thought log:

I still hate Americans and how they just dick around with your life for the hell and fun of it. Have some thoughts on schools teaching about trans or whatnot in kindergarten I’m not really involved in schools so I don’t have a clear understanding but what we used to do didn’t work as a society trans persons died in their twenties at extremely high rates either through suicide, drug addiction or being murdered, so I think teaching kid s at a young age that it’s ok to be trans or that some people are trans or that to be inclusive of everyone is necessary. I don’t think trans kids should have to fight the battle or the world alone without any support from society. Now things like kid directed operations is another matter. I lean against that. I’m also feeling like we need coed or trans sports leagues instead of trans women in womens sports. There’s just a physical unfair advantage involved and dangerous in combat sports. I don’t really buy that the Nuggets had two stars and role players Michael porter was the top of his class in college was cconsidrrrd a number 1 pick prospect. Aaron Gordon is a dunking phenom was the top player on Orlando a number of years.

I don’t recall if Marshal Thomas referenced the 2 British scientists allegation in the 1970 book Data Bank Society that 33,000 Vietnamese of upper and middle class that sympathized with Vietcong were targeted with a total health control system brain control system. I think Thomas posits that What he calls The Monarch program was an off shoot or developed after the Phoenix program and became new Phoenix program but my reccolection is a bit shotty I’ll have to reread. I think one of the weirdest things about project paper clip is that the u.s took like a class photo of all the Nazis. This was disclosed on some level beside TI movement by marvels captain America movie with the Hydra having every person targeted with a covert sattelite murder machine. .

Tom cruise when he was younger looked like this kid named Matt I went to school with and was friends with but he like mimics me a lot. It’s a really terrible feeling to be told your crazy or treated like your crazy when you aren’t . One thing I wouldn’t want if I had a girlfriend is snuggle at the gym between workouts or while working out. I’d need some space I mean a partner is cool but I don’t need any extra snuggles and such. I read in A.D. After Disclosure that the government has been ver successful in denial and ridicule operations. Instead of talking about a topic they deny at baseball games in backyards eating a hotdog in editorials on the news with family friends colleagues official denial taints topics and makes them secrets we can’t talk about and people who do are marginalized brushed aside treated like they are crazy. They’re running a story about Dave Bautista mimicking me feeling really old at the gym and I’m 38 but I feel old there. Like I do a turtle method so as not to hurt anything or damage my body stress it too much. But I’m mainly concerned with losing weight to reverse some aging I do the easier elliptical and they had young people comment how easy it was yesterday. I think a lot of Americans get intimidated by intelligent people. Some of us love them. That’s why a lot of people hated Kennedy.

I saw some truckers on side of road and I may attempt going back to work sooner than later and I thought maybe I would have to take soonest thing I find or maybe I’d have ability to try something healthy. I thought of how I am almost 40 now so the thought of taking any job isn’t as appealing to me and reallly never was all that much. Made me think of fairness and freedom and communism and capitalism. And how in communism you are directed by party officials or govt officials what to do. When I was younger this didn’t seem so bad and on some level it’s better if young people do physically demanding jobs while older people move into less physically demanding jobs. But in capitalism we have some 50 year old movers and 70 year old waitresses. And of course some people are homeless. It made me think that poor people are forced into unhealthy jobs that don’t compensate for difficulty or hazard modus or being boring. And this isn’t fair. And old people are pushed out the door often. So made me think that capitalism commmunism in some respects aren’t all that different in a material sense sometimes. But I’m for freedom freedom is definitely better however what type of freedom I’m reminded of a quote from 1619 project about how white Americans were conditioned to see non bondage as freedom without material conditions being met in a necessary way. Like I want to be able to choose and it made me think how under this brain control dictatorship I was dictated to live my life how other people live theirs and had my freedom destroyed finances destroyed all because I thought differently or used my intellect. It’s like instead of taking the best of both worlds communism and capitalism and fixing what they both lack we are taking the worst of both worlds with dictation wealth in a few hands lack of choice not just compensation.

I am basically talking to myself with these logs but now I am getting access to my thought and recorded reports instead of everyone else. I don't include everything and since ive been doing this they've had to rely on low vibe depressing methods to make any impact on me. This does make some impact to fight back on some level, They've not been able to run a log of my thoughts manipulated back to me to gaslight me. Anyone is welcome to read them. I'd prefer people if they are interested in my thoughts to feel free to share that or if they just want to read them and find them detestable funny or interesting crazy and not share ok thats fine you are in control of you. They say that I am "spinning" with this log or something they are showing a bunch of break dancers spinning. It's stupid because thats all they do is manipulate and spin and then they are characterising my thoughts that are just plainly written as 'spin'

I said in an earlier log that my dad was mobbed out of his job I believe likely because he was anti war and spoke positively of socialism. He doesn’t quite believe me on how big and greater an ooeration around my parents I believe was conducted. He thinks it was a mobbing of sorts related to hiring a famous lawyer to defend a sibling. He sees it as retaliation I think what happened to my sibling was part of a greater operation around my parents. My dad would tell kids he mentored and talk them out of joining military and instead going to college. He had been a protestor during Vietnam war with an adult man who eventually heard voices was sent to psych ward. A tell tale sign of a takedown op. My mom was into American Indian movement they are both catholic kinda cafeteria catholic. I think they were seen as good subjects to experiment on. My grandpa worked at Hughes later bought by Lockheed Martin he e was very intelligent had been in military worked on first computer but was alcoholic so I believe potentially subject into behavior modification programs or subject to them along with his children. This is all speculation but I later was targeted which is undoubted my dad was which I have no doubt of. I believe my mom too. And it’s reported this is society wide or goal is to control whole society eventually. Neither really buys it. I of course speculate some here but I think my dad was targeted for sure.

I read that Tony Snell was diagnosed with autism. He was professional basketball player. Charliz Theron is supposed to be B and many others are as well. January jones b. A has an actress with their name I just came across another that portrays them but I can’t remember now. Unfortunately even if the program got shut down I have schizophrenia for life I’ll always interpret reality this way even if it weren’t actually happening I’m permanently programmed. Peggy Carter in Captain america is A because my aunt Peggy got alsheimers and forgot. Alejandra Daddario another A. B has a lot there’s just like every actress portrays her kinda like me and a lot of actors villains doofuses leading men for me I vary a lot. They kinda turned me into lead after while of doofus villains. There had to have been some Time Machine involved because a bunch of movies from past predicted my life and people in it too coincidentally. They’re saying A not excited by me. After saying she’s on her way. Which I pretty much know. I’m getting itchy palm left right today. I guess B is supposedly interested but doesn’t like marriage so I’m kinda culturally a comprehender of marriage. But I guess that can be worked out reconciled.

Targeted Individual day is on the 29th to harass me. 29 means I need to sleep with 2 less attractive gangstalker women befor a 9 will consider me. They categorized people by these numbers years ago and blanketed my whole environment with 38 28 37 etc they had an attractive woman swim in the pool today. She was pretty good at seeming normal or random. She was making graceful arm motion perhaps they want to point out I’m an ugly man. Coulda been doppelgänger of B. B had gracefully arm movements too. But I don’t know she looked like a woman from my dream last night. I’ll probably try to avoid her because then they’ll have me think about her and they’ll develop new woman to control me. Meghan fox another A. A as Meghan makle may be as Kate as well. B was Diana. A maybe is saying they’re into black men and bored with me saying I like red hair or took picture with redhead woman when she was mad at me. The woman was my friend from childhood. The Monarch controllers tried to make me jealous of black men. I hate to say this but the Obama administration was really into that sorta thing because I said he was a black dancing country cowboy being symbolized as a drone they controlled by white supremacist hierarchy. So they went on massive offensive against me nearly got me tortured into arrest choked to death. I never really noticed how pretty Elizabeth Olson was before like I knew she was pretty but I’m noticing it more now that I get these actress pages in my feed because I liked the academy museum. I don’t know how these actresses like never age I feel like their secrets should be a public treasure.

I think this log is dampening their resolve to exalt me. So success I think. I’m sabotaging their schizo program. I suspect 9/11 is a reference to me being short and women I’m interested in being my height but desiring taller men. And Aug 29 9/11 are related. Sadam Hussein is sad dom who’s sane. Or sad dom who is sane? Osama bin Laden o some have been laid. Or Sam been laid. The refer to me and others as Sam and Samantha from sex and the city. There’s numbers gods associated with mathematics of pyramid which makes me believe whoever was around then existed now and knew about this program. I referenced the scepter of war a few years ago Obama was like a scepter or a staff of power. His response was to make a huge display of his power but I think there’s a Supra national governance hierarchy above president. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that a black president came in during implementation of massive public drone bombings all very symbolic. Hornets re reported to want Brandon ingraham over Zion because of his body type they’re saying women want me skinny because I think I in someways am mor attractive with meat on me. Hornets is horny sorry to say. Their joke.

They’re say Scarlett Johansson didn’t like appearing in my dream. I’m supposed to be spencer in the reality series I’m not sure if it was called the Hills. B is Heidi I think it’s predictive programming. They’re also making this Barbie ken movie to make fun of us.

6/15

Health log:

Chicken salsa bowl avocado, oat meal, strawberries, sunflower seed yogurt. At about 1400 calories. They’re talking about diet and exorcise being important for “cancer care” cancer is code for gangstalking life invasion. They are saying that I’m being retaliated against because of some health slide. Perhaps saying I’d take 2 days off. Im thinking of trying to stay at 1400 calories today since I ate the enchilada and chilli last night. I’m going to try to swim or gym at 5 tonight don’t know when Thursday class is it’s not on June schedule but neither was Tuesday and there was an aqua class. I ate some salmon and sunflower seeds. At about 1800. 12k steps are some chicken.

Heart healthy: avocado, olive oil, salmon, oatmeal, strawberries.

Thought log:

Dream of something more in your life? The theological Culterica dictatorship takes what you have. I said other day that I thought zelinskys name could be a play on Donald Manzel and content he was involved in as Zel in sky. Appearently this is called a cryptogram. Blackstone group is appearently a cryptogram of founders names etc. if people won’t acknowledge 1 and 1 is 2 why would I Ben over backwards to prove 167 and 189? Or anything more complicated? Perhaps this log is more entertaining than my book but I feel my book is better. They had Isaiah kiner falefa running basses and had a bunch of commentary about my writing or thoughts in response. I was reading Sam Heughans waypoints and he was talking about relationships and I had this dismissive thought that he is a gorgeous guy so women maybe just are content being with him for his looks so no matter circumstance they’ll stick around and this obviously came from me trying to improve my attractiveness and be fitter let’s say somehow on some level I actually manage to be attractive will this increase likliehood that someone could be wrong for me or I for them but they stick with me because I look ok or nice? I have tried apologizing to A for previous rude emails. At time I was subject to psych war and was having a bit of a breakdown was a bit frustrated with not knowing intentions. They didn’t respond. However they have “loved” interactions I’ve made on face book. I can’t really read too much into that because it’s just Facebook. They could be pitying my heart on some level letting me down easy acknowledging some past thing. Maybe it’s their way of forgiving moving on or something. Saying they love people as friends

Neither B nor A talk to me but supposedly they are on their way or something according to signs and AI. They’re running stories about Stephanie McMahon to possibly say A is her but don’t know could be someone else wwe. A is also supposed to be Katy perry others they keep intimating I need to move to Orlando and I just can’t commit to that.. now they have Stephanie McMahon in a red dress with a hart on her palm to say I need to sleep with gangstalker and she will love me. Red means that or socialist so could be either or. Sometimes pushing someone left is used as a cover for undermining anti status quo campaign and hoping for rapture so god can give us utopia. They have Stephanie McMahon in front of boys and girls club logo. Boys and girls club is where my dad worked and they Gangstalked and.mobbed him out of his job because they didn’t want to pay him anymore there was a coworker named Rick McMahon who used to complain about management a lot. My dad could have been mobbed for being anti war and talking positively about socialism.

They have A B doppelgängers holding a book that’s says “show him his stories matter” and there’s negative stimuli say it’s crazy to think they matter. They keep having planes go by making depressing noises. When I try to work on my book or read it, the voices pickup. This has happened to me in the past when trying to read The Phoenix Program, or Jakarta Method. Since ive been getting voices of late it isn't as intimidating and I'm more motivated and happier writing than reading something that doesn't tell the whole truth or touch upon rather a significant portion of the truth. So I don't tell "whole truth" in the sense its one person's perspevctive be it from a particular vantage point. If I ever turn my thought log into a published account maybe I could call Lil Dom's Vantage Point. Or Lil Dom's Thought Police. health Police thought healht log: I said the other day that we live in a "faulty democracy" but i've written in the book that it is actually a dictatorship. I actually sometimes fall under the dominant propganda umbrella and think yeah it's a democracy, but this isn't democracy being brain controlled and suspension of civil liberties being ruled by some theological brain control AI cult.

They're saying I'm like a docile Kangaroo trying to fight a couple of white guys walking away. The voices have also picked up when trying to read Glen Yeadon's Nazi Hydra in America. It was a negative environment at the store. Tried to remind me of childhood I think. Harry Potter is based on me and my siblings a lot of the things. I think at least. They had a woman named Justine who was I think doppelgänger of B or symbolize B claim to love star wars and it was referencing crypts. I had just referenced cryptograms. She had a good colored shirt on that means anti harassment or cancels out harassment. I like Star Wars and maybe this was positive reinforcement skywalker Zel in sky. But Justine isn’t necessarily a good name because a guy with that name liked to cause drama. So maybe they are trying to make fun of her me. Or maybe Justine is crypt for just teen.

What I include in the book is a little bit of acknowledgement that I was setup at to work at a nonprofit that builds houses in San Diego but I don’t go into how my roommate seemingly tried to get me to slack off at work as a setup or that they were maybe trying to bug me on this level I can’t know for sure they maybe just weren’t meant for construction still developing. But they used to sing this song a bob dylan song Mr. Jones. At time marijuana was still illegal and 2 coworkers had loud conversations in front of retired law enforcement personnel and tried to rope me into buying pot on a work site. I wasn’t really much of a pot person. At my work place I was accused or told that police informed them that they found drug paraphernalia in my car which is impossible. I think this was part of a takedown operation. In fact I don’t really discuss a lot of my personal story. The book is much different than this thought log. It’s more serious less of the bizarre psychological warfare and personal stuff. I think sometimes that let’s say I found some woman I loved and they seemingly love me I’d probably never allow that to happen in the first place because I’d think they would just leave me or be secretly trying to control or kill me

6/14

Health log:

Didn’t weigh in this morning I ate middle of night . So I’ll adjust and more or less fast till tomorrow. Ate chicken salasa bowl avocado, pesto chicken wrap, pistachio yogurt, strawberries. They say The Weekend has the worst show on television because I take days off on weekend don’t lose weight. Now that I go to gym I don’t walk as much and my feet feel better. . I’m getting persistent chest pain today so I’m going to skip my workout. I made oatmeal for my niece and was going to taste it to see if it was done and they synchronized a siren going off to tell me there will be consequences. At 3.6k steps at 1020. I’ve contemplated giving myself 2 days off a week if I do I should still hit 1 lb week goal were I to maintain 1800 calorie. Went to gym did 30 minutes on bike didn’t feel like staying they had annoying people in there. 1 woman I think had a “Hiss” shirt on. I had mentioned a protestor at occupy hissing at me in yesterdays log. At 9.1k steps at 715. They made my environment extremely negative today so I anxiously ate an enchilada and some chilli. I will try to make this my day off and Friday but exercise Saturday and Sunday maybe I can go early Sunday before my dad wakes up

Heart healthy: strawberries, avocado, pistachio.

Thought log:

It is a nice crisp sunnny morning this morning. I’m tempted to take a walk. I need to brush my hair. They have planes fly directly above my house. They put us in the flight pattern. One silently stalked me to the kitchen. Perhaps I was AI brain controlled to synch up with it. I mentioned that the occupy woman had a mesmerizing voice. I prefer A and B voices. They bring warm feelings upon hearing them. When I did. Supposedly these monarch controllers intimate anyway that my voice is pleasant but I doubt it. I don’t really like my voice all that much. They’re always trying to get me to go on camera and tell me “your voice is important” I have no media training or experience so it is always just shotty work. It’s like it is a setup to fail so they can run schizo doom mocking critique in the media. The literacy rate in America is 79 percent but supposedly nobody can read anything I write. One of the perks of being disabled or destitute living with your family is you get to take leisurely walks in the morning and not be pressed for time. The birds chirp prettily as there are lots of trees in our neighborhood. It was relatively quiet on my walk, they had an Elysian truck go by to remind me of my thought that I like going to dodger stadium but numerous neighborhoods in la would street theatre harass me during trump years because fusion centers were defaming me that I was racist. I mention in book that this was a political science experiment they thought I’d be good to experiment on. They had a car with MAMBA GB liscence plate because I was going to joke about Kobe and having to pee in pool but because I don’t know if he faked his death or not I’ll refrain.

GB is for Great Britain they dubbed Becky’s as A or B so they have an A or B on tv now named Becca saying they like a Jonas brother with my friends name because they are more mature now(Becca). Becca is better than Becky in my mind control thing because they used key to harass me and say I had to get sex keys by sleeping with extremely obese woman gangstalkers before attractive or women I were interested in would consider me. So it’s pleasant that there’s no conflict between a b or my friend. I’m not saying A or B were immature. Hollywood is sending out that mental thing psyop.

Recent Rasmussen poll has Rfk even with Biden. So I guess internet media is potent. Hillary was supposed to be B and I was supposed to be Trump because I once had a random thought that B could be President and I could be their campaign manager or worker behind scenes. I also thought I could on random occasions. I’ve thought that any regular person is capable and can do better job than the psychopaths we elect. So they had us run against eachother as a joke saying that we are in conflict. I’ve suspected that people were infiltrating my life and sabatogeing my friendship and relationship or their potential with A and B as well. My sisters car got stolen. I’ve fretted this was related to me. The dealership has had her car for 4 months and hasn’t fixed it. They keep trying to threaten me with prison, but of course don’t tell me what they are charging me with which is uncostitutiona

We live in a faulty democracy not in my personal dictatorship so as long as someone is palatable Ive learned to vote for people who have chances of winning elections. I’m reading in San Heughans waypoints that as he was climbing a mountain he had set a goal for himself and this diminished his ability to enjoy the journey. This makes me reflect on my goal to lose 20 lbs by November 1. I do seem to make more progress when I set goals, particularly mini short term goals like lb a week. However if I lose Ten I should be happy. And may enjoy myself more get more rest.

The voices said B “can’t believe it” in response to yesterdays thought log. Just like there’s peripheral fascism at home in American empire there’s a peripheral fascism at home from peoples work family’s work but I can’t really go into it.

I hate America and Americans. They dick around with your life for the fun of it. They are an immature lot on the mental level of a jr high student and not a very intelligent one at that. I’d need more evidence than an actor followed my writing on the internet and made a coordinated response or joke to prove my case. They’re having a plane make depressing noises in response. Earlier they had a siren synchronize me seeing my stomach in mirror. They gave me itchy palms earlier as well. It may be me going to work soon. I have Stephen a smith declaration that nba thinks I may not live in 5 years in back of my mind now. I see that as a threat.

I think that monarch presents you with being some significant piece in revolution or have access to wealth so long as you’re held as a slave and this gets shown for cultural production purposes to all the slave owners freemen. Like their pet animal demonstration of power. Like religion.

I saw this meme about weird esoteric wisdom that can only be gained through suffering. This is the type of mental content Culterica sends out as they run their theological dictatorship psychological operations.

6/13

health log:

1.8 lbs lower than 5/30 .2 lbs lower than 6/12. Ate sushi, pistachio yogurt strawberries small piece chuck steak. I don't really eat steak but it was here and I just succumbed and had a bite. I think Im at 1200 calorie. Chilli hummus and broccoli at about 1800 calories. Did 24 laps 8 kick 16 crawl. Seem on pace to get to 2 lbs tomorrow. I didn’t do my shoulder press dumbbell because I forgot my underwear and I didn’t feel comfortable in gym so I just exited doubly with mind reading walked 6.7k steps. I got hungry and ate some chicken. Don't know if I'll hit 2 lbs tomorrow.

heart healthy: strawberry, pistachio, fish, broccoli

thought log:

They had a guy dancing in speedo drunk at a pool on twitter. but i don't think that way ib just reacted to the homer dancing in my eye. Before dystopia hit we used to want to live in Pasadena. Targeted Justice sent out a news letter and a video of Dr. Steven Greer sharing some documents a few years ago about how the Pentagon or Army War College discussed that they would use an operation of fake ufo and alien abductions to create a fear and panic in the population so they could handle the ET presence as a threat and secretively and militarily. They stated they would use voiced transmissions in the people's heads. My mom goes "who flies around with a plane with their name on it Trump!" and i was thinking thats why I think he is special needs. I saw jokic drag murry into the pool and i thought these guys arent too intelligent they are like 6-5 7-0 and falling into a tiny pool. they could have injured themselves. Supposedly we have a Democracy with a free press presenting reality based on objective fact but some guy can go to some private little college become a Psychiatrist and his word on the Weaponized Application of Cell Towers will have more weight than the Chief Scientist at The Pentagon. Then an educated person will be targeted by that Cell Tower in the very way the Chief Scientist reveals the towers do and the Psychiatrist from his small little world will have the power to declare the person "Mentally Ill Schizophrenic"

It was negative environment leaving house today. They had B doppelgängers smile at me, but then indicate it’s a”tease” with media feedback..I liked and follow the academy museum so I now get pages of actresses in my feed. Today they keep having them wear blue and black today. Blue was a message to “go away and f*ck obese blue dress girl” black was “go away and f*ck black dress girl” unless you get skinny and have flat stomach. They don’t do this as much any more but this was part of blanketing of environment a few years ago where they made my whole existence these directives.

Wild speculation I do is that Trump is a secret communist front, but then I can’t quite come to terms seeing him as a communist and his supporters so then I think about all these books written about how Wall Street funded Lenin in New York and it makes me wonder about these diametrically opposed ideologies and Hegelian dialectic free masonry etc. I’m not sure when that Steven Greer video was shot or conference. I said years but it could have been yesterday I got it in Substack from targeted justice yesterday

As it turns out both And b actually expressed interest in me or liked me at one point but just not as much as I felt about them. B one time whispered forever in my ear but I think they were drunk. So I think she was aware how I felt for along time. I sort of went on a date with A and she indicated she was interested in others but then a few years later contacted me and said they wanted to move to the city I lived in. Since I had already sorta indicated I was interested in her romantically but we were friends I didn’t know how to take that. It all fell apart when they both sorta opened the door. And I pissed both of them off. I think it’s possible it was some Rosicrucian AI test but I don’t know. I have the feelings nonetheless. Monarch teases me with each of them or gives me impression they are interested in me but I think I can’t be good partner for either while simultaneously thinking I won’t find anybody I feel similar about given total environment control labrat society and maybe even regardless of that

San Diego is moving towards being considered for NHL NBA team with new arena plans or investment from Kroenke. My dad and I agree that it would be a destination for pro players. And given their salaries we’d take a cut in pay to live in San Diego.

Every other Tuesday I cook tacos make guacamole for my family. Tuesdays in between im learning other dishes. I actually like cooking it is nice. I used to cook for myself a lot more. But still do some. It’s nice to learn to cook for groups or families. My dad does the rice and beans as I can’t quite do tortillas chop meat etc by myself at least well. I had a sharp pain in pool today that scared me a bit but I walked a lap and it didn’t come back. I think it’s biohacking or Directed Energy. Would a bunch of right wing men pretend to be trans and do crazy things or egg people on in order to win elections? I think so.

A few weeks ago I was in the store and it just felt like wow everybody is a freakin robot. They’re saying I can trust B Maria Hill the actress or character in marvels Secret Invasions said this at the premier “you can trust me” they give B the name Maria often because they’re saying she is a rebel. And I read in Caesar’s messiah that the flavians named Mary Jesus’ mom Mary or used the name Mary in the new testemant to refer to jewish rebellious women. If I remember correctly this was a thing way back in time. So they use Mary or Maria to signify b or rebellious women.

On 6/11 I shared my thought about how I have to do backflips in my mind to feel like a woman would desire me or rely on supernatural faith. So Kevin Nealon in 6/12 or ai brain controlled Kevin Nealon and his friend Reggie who has a condition as support or something they may know that I drink water before leaving my house because I don’t like my face when it’s cofffee face or bloated. So maybe poking fun or just telling me I’m being irrational or providing emotional support. As Reggie was leaving his house. Also I had stated I don t like being a lab rat. And I stay in my room. So I have a hard time working I’ve been disabled for a number of years because the nazi stalkers follow me around driving me crazy and voices and didn’t develop skills have brain damage so I’m slow maybe their go fund me was support \was mocking or something or it’s AI. I don’t know. I probably won’t be able to sue for all that was done. So they’re saying something also used 33 which is Freemason which I talked about a day later without seeing Nealon tweet so maybe I was ai braincontrolled. They're saying that this Log is like david vs goliath they put a meme in my feed to intimate that. Maybe it is. I can notice a change in quality of thought from day to day. .or quality of the Log. I didn't read much today I don't normally on tuesdays. I focus on excercise and cooking on those days.

I don't know if I have a highly sensitive personality or not. As stimuli doesn't always send me into a tizzy. Like in my early twenties I got great joy out of stiumli and mystical energy from it. This wasn't awlays the case in social settings however which may have been due to psych warfare. People were still trying to be cool though not quite as much as high school or middle school. I didn't think very many people at my house i lived in in college were trying to be cool which was kinda refreshing. It was a transfer house. I liked being around a bunch of kids and artists at the museum i worked at. But you move to a city and there's alot of hipsters, which to me wasn't quite as bad as being a kid but it was both good and bad feelings about it. The environemnt in OB PB in san diego was kinda weird vibe to me. I did like a steelers bar called Longboards in PB. OB was a little better I liked North Park South Park Normal Heights, University Heights Kensington Hillcrest, city heights , Encinitas was peacful and sleepy but nice but city heights was sometimes sketchy. I don't know if I could handle those spots now, and i don't really know what they are like now maybe kensington but Im not rich. In LA I like Santa Monica, Malibu, Studio City Toluca Lake Los Feliz, Hollywood. westwood, Pacific Palisades. Pasadena Eagle Rock. I would get harassed pretty heavily as if I were a racist donald trump for a lot of years. WHen i was a kid i liked anywhere in LA but im not rich. But i am a hermit mostly since moving back here.

One person they try to remind me of is a woman from Occupy whom they monitored I was attracted to. They had the same name as a woman whom became the girlfriend of a suitor of B. It was also a name from a girl in my elementary school who left. I sometimes think this is like a universe code to say you didn't really think much of the girl in elementary school, so this woman isn't for you. In any event I don't really know that woman at occupy. At time I was pretty depressed and in a traumatized state she was nice attractive, had a mesmerizing voice and intelligent. But I think that I found her to be a bit dramatic if that is the correct word the whole occupy thing was like a big psych op by police and I felt experimented on and I don't know on what level this woman was acting or being preyed upon by police. They had a guy hanging around her hiss at me either jealously or pretending to be jealous he would walk by me and like literally hiss and give me a dirty look. The voices are saying "Appreci8" in response. This is a number they give they programmed me to see women in rated numbers during the torture years, which Hillary Clinton commented on by bashing Trump. I don't really see that number scheme anymore when seeing people. Part of what made me question Occupy was questioning the seemingly models used to stage propaghanda cultural production along the lines of 1984 in Lybian War. Then I saw at occupy the police come out and seemingly engage in a stunt throwing a guy off the stairs onto a table like WWE style. It was shortly after this that I went to the LAPD seeking investigation that I heard voices, which it was later declared by DARPA chief scientist Paul Batcho can be caused by Cell Towers and that Cell Towers are being used to target people with "synthetic telepathy" or new technology along the lines of v2k.

6/12

health log:

1.6 lbs lower than 5/30 .2 lbs lower than 6/11. looks kike ill hit 2 lbs by friday. My dad's about to make a hashbrown omelet and they had a plane go by and make depressing noises to make me associate eating any of it with disaproval or disaster. I may be going to the gym a little too much i'm pretty tired. Im maybe stressing out my body. I'll see how I feel tomorrow, but I think once i hit 2 lbs down I'm going to take a day off. I could be tired because I ate a bunch of chilli and didn’t realize it was beef which makes me tired. Gym was an older crowd they had a guy talk annoyingly on the phone. I did 35 min elliptical, 32 min on bike, 12 minutes on recline bike burn 500 calories on machine count. Weightlifting. I’m thinking of trying to increase my dumbbell shoulder press by 2.5 lbs to 17.5. It’s basically for vanity reasons because my shoulder has been holding up in pool. I got a little hungry had some meat. Don’t know if I’ll make my progress tomorrow. I don’t really know how many calories were in chilli I ate pistachio yogurt, strawberries, slice of pizza, two cups of chilli. A little meat.

Heart healthy: pistachio and strawberries

thought log:

that had a producer on named mark walberg and i think that was to say im a big reality show blowhard. They sent me an image in my eyes of homer dancing shaking his butt. i think to say i have an attractive butt or to say youre funny to think that you think so as you look like homer simpson. they had the ai pretend to be scarlett johanson i think say "you were relatively different" " you wasted our time" could have been B saying that. theyre showing commercials of audi cars to say " you're out!" I think anthony fauci is a reference to tony awards theyre saying hes theatre.Th.ey're having phil phillips on to remind me of my best friend from elementary school named phillip. I had a hard time connecting with people over my life, which has made me think im on the spectrum or something, i think not though but i enjoyed being around this kid he moved away. Later i hada best friend in college that I connected with but they moved back to another country and things fell apart when i became romantically interested in. They were a woman. Then I probably had one more best friend if you even have that as an adult. They are one of the only friends i have and connect with. Phil is also a name of a guy who became friends with the friend from college and that is all fine but the media people try to make me feel left out.Phil phillips was part of an operation to "make this place my home" through monarch programming and trauma bonding. The philip kid was philipino and this fits a pattern with me connecting to philipinos or liking them. Perhaps this is cultural thing as i was raised catholic and lots of philipinos are catholic. But now they try to follow me with angry philipinos half the time to mess with my affinity and comfortable memory of friendships etc

In Battle for Your Brain, Nita A. Farahany is discussing Neuromarketing and the way advertisements will manipulate you to feel happy sad etc to sell you stuff like a robot. Well what I know is that this is tied into an AI brain control system that reads minds and is seeking to control psychology of people that goes beyond commercial application and into social engineering. I would not trade AD for Trae Young, but maybe that is short sighted. I got itchy palms so I bought a lotto ticket. They had a car speed unsafely past me with 44 in license plate in right lane. It was a white car to say I’m right wing logo (Jerry west) white guy. This is in response to thinking these people don’t care about my life just their political science experiment or project. Voices kinda picking up here since the gym. They had negative feedback and are upset I said that but I think it’s true they care more about their political science project they had some attractive woman in a sundress pretend to be attracted to me at the store. She was acting.

I also don’t understand the psychology of politicians who often become multi millionaires deciding that I’m to be their brain damaged labrat because I said something wrong. I have a little vein thing going on in my leg so they play that wesmedical commercial to make fun of me. But maybe I should eventually look into it. I was reminded that 17 was my favorite year as a kid and was the only time I got a 4.0 in school. I was introduced to humanities through a class and I thought the teacher was really cool. I saw light at the end of the tunnel. Sports is part of breakaway civ psyop and warring psyops around world. If all of humanity lived in the moment their whole lives and not in their minds we’d never have art science recipes education technology or civilization of any kind we would collectively be living with grunts.

Read about a Donald Manzel who was an astronomer a part of Majestic 12 makes me think zelinsky is some cipher reference. Zel in sky. manzel debunked ufo sightings and witnesses even as he was on MJ 12. Also Kennedy reportedly wanted more cooperation with Russia and t disclose aliens to public

6/11

Health Log:

Swam 23 laps 16 crawl 7 kick. Shoulder is holding up nice turtle method is working. I'm hoping to be 2lbs down by Friday. No weigh in today. Dumbell Shoulder press. 6.3 k steps at 630 pm. Chipotle strawberries pistachio yogurt, a little cheese and corn bread. I didn't quite finish my burrito which is unusual for me. ALso I think it was only single wrapped which is why i probably got hungry for cheese and corn bread. So it appears im on track for my usual small drop in weight tomorrow.

Heart healthy: Strawberries, Pistachio, Avocado

thought log:

I think im going to make sunday a cleaning my room day and then read in the evening. Swimming was nice i was the only one in the pool a majority of the time. They had a guy going kinda hard in a mustache, maybe a doppleganger of me body type or my uncles. i think they had the guy go hard to remind me of how i used to swim when i was younger..maybe to make me realize i was annoying...don't know meaning. I don’t necessarily want to trade AD and I think guiltily often as a fan thinking of trades because it’s a bit like slavery with owners sending guys to other teams and such moving their families etc, but these guys can retire at age 35 after playing a game often so I don’t feel quite as sinister. I thought of these trades for lakers and I don’t know if you should trade because you were in three tight games to the potential champion. But everyone’s a year older. And injury prone. So what if trades you trade ad to Portland for simons#3 pick then trade that to Chicago for Zach lavine. Trade D’Angelo wenyen or Bambara 17 pick to Phoenix for Ayton. Trade Austin reeves to Orlando for Suggs. Sign Bobby portis.

Lineup of ayton portis lebron lavine Suggs. Maybe you potentially can get vucevic and van vleet instead of ayton Suggs for floor spacing purposes and shooting

I see equity in america as a response to a fascist history in America that sought to eliminate disabled and people of color from society or margianlize them. This fascism is in fact tied into nazi organizing and eugenics. So alot of the pushback on it stems from the fact that people bought into american fascism as the true way. we did this thing in school as a elemetary school of Candy Grahams and I got one I think one time and I thought it must have been my grandma because she was the school nurse.

They often present A and B and then say "make a choice" because they know I feel guilty about choosing either over the other. Anyways I'd just want what was best for each of them. which i really don't think they'd be satisfied with me given my circumstance would they even be interested which I don't trust they are.

I was going to go see into the spider verse two. And I just got a bit pooped and backed out. I don’t feel like I have the mental capacity to concentrate on it a movie. I’m getting some voices that possibly make me think that. But my family bought the ticket already so I will just pay them.. maybe I drank too much coffee also we’ve been watching a lot of rfk and it just gave me this feeling of hopelessness trauma and false hope which triggered anxiety I think. I see alot of parallels in the way Aliens are discussed in media and the way that Targeted individual or mind reading and Artificial Intelligence is discussed. Its like they pretend their developments are in infant stages and not thoroughly integrated into political structure.

In response to reposting this tweet thay had Connor Mcgregor punch a mascot named Burnie:

"When popular leaders like Bernie who promulgate the idea of a War on Racism and you have intellectual leaders saying that all white people are racist you have potentially a legitimizing idea for a war on white people 2 an excuse by real white supremacy power to rile up white peep. This helps real white supremacy power recruit people into its orbit. If everyone is racist then you can as white supremacists promulgate notion that nobody's racist."

I came across an article today discussing an Irish Priest's killing in Alabama way back in history. He was killed because he was catholic and married a puerto rican man and a white woman. The white woman's dad shot him. His name was Fr. Coyle. My dad was reminding me of my DNA ethnicity makeup. I'm

32 percent Irish, 12 percent Scottish, 6 percent English. 35 percent Italian, 9 percent Agean Islands (islands off greece) 4 percent Greek, 1 percent Baltic, and some small percentage Nigerian. So I find the nigerian interesting. I'm guess it comes out of the Sicilian since there's african or north african and Muslim history in Sicily. The Italian was about equal north and south. Lots of Ocean proximity and Island life in my DNA. I don't want to use the names of friends and family and the way they are mimicked in hollywood politics etc. But they are quite frequently. Not always direct parallels with names but actually sometimes they are. Usually it is some coded name. I could share some of those stories but due to likeness people may be able to decipher who my friends and family are and actually I'm being broadcast so people largely know anyhow, but im not exactly sure how wide scale all knowledge is. like with the manhattan project this brain control project could be compartmentalized.

Sometimes I think about how I want to go out and live a life in society. But then I am demotivated by fact I’ll be lab rat in fascist brainwashed society and I just think I should stay in my room and keep living with my family. About the only thing that motivates me is helping my mom retire and thought of getting my family financially secure to take care of their well being as well. So I play lotto. Second thing is homelessness but I’m pretty much powerless in that regard and I think they are being experimented on. Then the thought of contributing to extended family and friends. Which that is unlikely. One reason of many I don't date is I am not very secure financially and I could probably afford some dates and pay for it, but if the woman wants to date a bunch and then I have to come up with good ideas and such and I am a hermit who hasn't participated in society in over a decade so that would be a problem.

I guess everybody knows but I was supposed to be Joran Van Der Sloot that was a whole staged thing . it encapsulates the cultural style of their twisted sense of Humor. I was appearently feeling guilty being interested in a woman and what their family would think of them leaving country or being with me. what they do is do some horrific crime to parallel the activity that is not malicious or psycho but they turn it into a psycho spectacle for some weird joke or something.. ALso they use Jo which is supposed to be my nemisis accomplice from grade school sports. to also create schizo affect.

I know I'm not as ugly as I think I am, but I have a hard time no matter my condition imagining that someone else could desire me. Like I have a confidence that someone would but this is kinda based in supernatural faith and not on my rational mind. It’s like I have to do backflips in my mind to believe it along the lines of believing in some supreme power in the universe. It is like a faith thing. And for my rational mind to believe it the woman has to do some over the top overt thing to make me believe it.

It’s weird that Scarlett Johansson was my celebrity crush and her last name is two kids names I went to school with more Orr less from the same circle. I’ve also dreamt of Scarlett Johansson but again don’t know what her knowledge or approval if any was of her image or digital clone being used.

6/10

Health log:

1.4 lbs lower than 5/30. .4 lbs lower than 6/9. I’m taking day off. Will swim tomorrow. Ate chicken pesto wrap, yogurt pistachio, strawberries, chips at 1300 calories pasta avacado sausage 1800 calories

Heart healthy: olive oil, strawberries, pistachio avocado.

Thought log:

Have “quit playing games with my heart” in my head. I miss spontaneity. my life has become so routine. The health police are killers of spontaneity. I do on some level enjoy routine but it’s not my natural state. Did some reading this morning, Yvan Harari’s just declared we are going to try to become immortal happy gods and become Homo Deus Sam Heughan has just claimed Ben Nevis, something I didn’t see in Scotland. I’d like to drink more whiskey. My niece has a show this morning. She is singing. It’s always lovely to listen. My parents want me to go to a doctor to checkout chest pains but I’ve been multiple times and checked out fine. There’s a lot of cover for DEW bio hacking, including “vaccine side effects” . I bought an MnM coffee at World Market and I had years ago regularly put mnms in my coffee in the morning, so if I had worked at MnMs and pitched the idea i could have got a promotion lol. I used to cruise the streets at night on my bike for exercise and mystic energy. I wasn’t doing anything creepy. But looking back on it it probably wasn’t very wise or safe. I was likely being hunted at some point. And wasn’t always in the best neighborhoods. In other words stupid of me.

My niece did amazing at her singing performance. It was her best non character performance yet. She keeps improving and works on her craft. The teachers are doing so great with all the kids because they all keep improving. They all did superb. I didn’t get comfortable being in front of people until adulthood. Theatre seems great for kids if done right. I’m kinda working on Ch 4 today. I’m at a poor section about Devin Nunes and FISA abuse memo and how it demonstrated the machinations of a political police I’m trying to tie this into how trump is a reality show psyop to make counterintelligence program palatable and convolute a dictatorship by masking it in trump anti trump propaghanda. This is done as part of a multifaceted psychological war that targets me in bizarre psychological warfare deliberate in its incredulity and bizarre nature to make me discredited and appear crazy when I share it. Gonna try to get my dad to go to Ventura next week or something. Gotta get out and go somewhere. I’m going to introduce the idea of going places with Ventura but eventually I’d like to go to museums and such if he is too obliged I will just have to go by myself. With the voices picking up I don’t really like traveling highway by myself. I’ve considered getting a tattoo in the past but I’ve read that it can cause blood disease. So that’s one reason not to get one.

I saw a clip of Jesse waters talking to Dennis Quaid about how all these Texas actors are trying to get the film industry to move to Texas and all Jesse waters did was try hard to get Dennis Quaid to shit on California. I don’t want to move to Texas I don’t want to be around guns and I don’t really fit in with cowboys. But more so I don’t want to be around tornados and hurricanes. That being said it seems like the leadership in California has decided that some of us aren't going to make it here and we aren't going to try to accommodate the population that is here or that we can't. I honestly don't care what people are who they are attracted to. I'm not really into other people's lives like that so thats why they had me like the woody harrelson character saying you are not interested in people's lives. I'm just interested in helping people how I can and being a friend but not intervening in their life or judgeing them. I care that they have respectful and beneficial relationships or positive. But I don't really care to think about their lives like that all that much. I have my own self to worry about on that level.

Reading in Graham Hancock’s Fingerprints of the gods. That Coricancha or the citidel of viracocha in Cuzco was plated in gold and had gold corn stalks artificial in rows. This parallels Solomons temple and gold sheets and rows of gold trees. Viracocha is depicted as a bearded man and allegedly Caucasian. There is a statue of him bearded. Chapter 4 of the book im writing isn't very good. The Voting and narrative of Democracy in Trump andti Trump Branding Dictatorship. But it has some of the more poignant material and substance. Maybe the thoughts i have about not caring about other peoples lives other than that they have positive, beneficial or respectful relationships is because I'm a man. Maybe my lack of concern or interest is because of this.

They had "quit playing games with my heart" on again this was after Miley Cyrus "I can buy myself flowers" which is supposed to be about me. The preview to "quit playing games" was a dedication by a guy named Marvin to a girl named elle. When I was being tortured in the psych ward years ago they used a woman that they dubbed LL who was like a weird voice, body name combination of a few woman I had previously fell for or found attractive. At time they were telling me that A and B hated me. They used LL to program me and coerce me into tortured starving hence the Marvin dedication as in Starvin Marvin. Because I am not eating much in the afternoon after eating my 1800 calories and my desire to lose weight for health purposes regardless of how it makes me look.

They had a Pinnacle truck go by in yellow lettering. yellow means insane often. Don't know the meaning of it yet. People that sell some gimmick like they can make my golf game better are like snake oil salesman to me lol. They simulate B being mad at me through doppelgänger and feedback if I’m attracted to other woman or if I look at other women , but all I have to go on is doppelgänger feedback and coded declarations that they are interested in me and moving closer and not from b but from surragates and AI robot voices. Meanwhile I’m just here isolated.

Monarch mind control stimulates me sexually often they do this by following me with women etc. but I’d rather not be aroused all the time it makes me physically uncomfortable .Then sometimes the deprive me of stimulation or remove all attractive women from my environment

Both a and b have appeared in dreams, but I don’t know how these dreams are made and what if any involvement or knowledge a and b have of their image being used. I’ve been sitting or lying Dow all day and now I’m physically uncomfortable

6/9

Health log:

A 1lb lower than 5/30 .2 lbs lower than 6/8. At 1200 calories, salmon pesto sandwhich, pistachio yogurt, bean salad, bagel cream cheese, broccoli hummus. I'm going to try to do 500 calorie burn today at gym to avoid the extra walking so like 30 minutes on elliptical 30 minutes on bike most likely. I'm a little pooped today. I went ahead and did 30 min sit on bike, 36 min elliptical, 12 min recline bike. burned 500 calorie machine count. I'm trying a turtle method to lose weight and so far it is working. I just do easier relaxed cardio and some weightlifting that won't injure me. Like i did 78 minutes cardio today not going above 114 heart beats per minute. If I manage to lose 1 lb a week I will lose 20 by November 1st. I think I can do that. but im just aiming for steady weightloss making little progress at a time. Gym was quiet today voices said so and so hates you. I was hungry so I ate two slices of turkey. They made plane overhead make bunch of depressing noises. At 7k steps 4pm. Ate some chicken at 10k steps 9pm

Heart healthy foods: pistachio salmon, olive oil, broccoli.

Thought Log:

By doing this log I take the wind out of their sales a bit with the mind reading drama skits etc. Tonight I’m going to watch Champions the woody harelson movie. It’s my niece's last day of school and she wants to do a movie night. Since I’m going to gym I will actually eat my allotment early so I’ll skip dinner. There’s a woman on KTLA named Jessica Levinson who is supposed to be my friend she is a professor. It’s not exact doppelgänger when they do it like I’m suppose to be Jim Trusty or Donald Trump. Because they joke with me that I think any schmuck or lots of schmucks could be President. Or people. They staged a shooting in the Hollywood Hills after 2am because I ate a meal at that time. They also are trying to scare me from dreaming about moving to Studio City or leaving SCV. I do think it'd be nice to get out of this town, though I recognize it is a bit like a homy town for me, but I know nobody here. Never really had friends here maybe a few or some also almost friends. In fact I've never been one much for many friends throughout my life. This is possibly due to experimentation the other possibility is that I am an alien in human form or something or some odd type of human. Thats why they did The Guardians movie with Rocket, it was somewhat based on someone like me. I thought the movie was one of the best Marvel Movies I've seen if a little bitter sweet. I like Marvel movies, they offer disclosure on lots of topics. I discuss this some in the book or my thoughts on it. If I ever raised a kid I would try to model behavior I think. I'd have to be a little tighter with myself. I don't think I'd be a big disciplinarian rather try to impart why its important to be respectful and such. Nobody likes a little jerk brat you don't want to be like that. I'd impart to them why its important for themselves to not be like that. At least i think I would do it this way. I think I need noise canceling headphones because the house i live in is a bit noisy its hard to concentrate. Is "ALien Agendas" the new "Its God's will or God's plan?"

Albert Einstein looks like a family member of mine and Anne Frank looks like friend of mine. I've always thought that I wanted a cat. If I lived on my own I'd consider it. Problem is that I have family or friends allergic so I can't. Also I'd be probably upset if the cat didn't come back from going outside or got eaten by a coyote. I don't know if I'm strong enough to deal with the loss. A while back I thought about starting my own religion worshipping squirrels that I dubbed Zistazza because when I think of squirrels I think of my grandma thus ancestors and goddess spirit or life force of play foraging escape daring etc. My grandma used to sit in the back yard and watch the squirrels every morning play with the dog. I sit back there there's not much in the way of squirrels now because tree died, but when it’s warm i do enjoy the backyard like my grandma. As I left the gym they were playing "quit playing games with my heart" while I had chest pain to mock me. The chest pain has a multifaceted purpose of which one purpose is to signal heartache. Its a little difficult sometimes to entertain the psychology of a bunch of guys getting paid millions of dollars and being catered to while they harass and control me. They A and B as old ladies talking to eaachother like in agreement that I'm old news. They had nurse that possibly flirted with me that they monitored my brain response to her. She was attractive, but I don't trust hospital unfortunately there was a nurse there with a blackwater tatoo i think during my grandmas visit. Her doctor whom got removed from her case later said that the hospital was run by "nazis" those were his literal words. Basically I’ve been conscripted by an imperial Rome like army into a political army. And I have no choice in the matter I’m a political science experiment who must be a soldier. They are making my environment negative in response. The voices call me slobidon like slobadon milosovic. They were positive at store. Went at 3pm. I'm getting itchy right palm which I've read means good for finances. It is slight. They are promoting an article on my homepage about parenting and developing kids with psychopathic traits in response to saying I wouldn't be a big disciplinarian i don't think as a parent. I would just hammer home to my child why it is important to be a caring empathetic, respectful person and to avoid selfishness when you can.

I don't think I've ever failed ive just lived and done good things and not good things and society and system penalizes us for not "succeeding" by its definition of success. I watched Champions it was good they;ve been giving me pain in my middle left finger for the past 20 minutes since watching to say The left hates me. I believe it is a re-education camp tactic. In any event the movie did kind of make me depressed in the sense that my life hasn't quite lined up in that way as the movie. I'm not as fulfilled as Woody Harrelson or the Friends. But I feel pretty good writing now and making a book even in its condition. I feel like it is in some ways my little thought rebellion to a total diabolical control grid. Its like you have to be rich or you will be impoverished to survive in our economy. The only other alternative is to be dependent on others or family. I'm probably not going to read tonight. I've been reading at night of late. Apparently middle finger energy is good spiritually in some traditions. RFK Jr has stated that we need a peaceful revolution, well The Trump FBI Counterintel op has made peaceful rebellion impossible. ANd then RFK Jr goes on to kiss trump supporters butts and trump and calls him the greatest debater since Lincoln. He needs to call out the cointelpro op making peaceful revolution impossible. He has very little chance to win because Majority of American Public doesn't believe in Democracy and he does.

I'm thinking its possible that I will lose weight and not be attractive. But I think I need to do so to survive longer amid the chest pains. So in order to have life I have to unfortunately forfeit attracting some people.

6/8

Exercise Diet:

.8 lbs under 5/30. so .2 lbs ligther than 6/7. Hopefully I keep making progress from here on out. lookslike that pesto slowed me down, so I'll remember that next time we get it, Also the cheetos didn't help. Ate Chipotle, Strawberries, Turkey Meatball about 1800 calories. I swam 15 laps crawl and 7 laps kicking. I did 22 because I needed to pee and didn't want to get back in. So I'll walk and k steps. I'm at 5.2k steps. 7k steps at 5pm 7.4k steps at 930

Thought log:

The voices said "You're a teenage girl" they like to make fun of me for having a heart and such. Not that being a teenage girl is bad, but I am a 38 yr old man. But I'm pretty content as a loner and I don't know if that is an accurate parallel to a teenage girl, but maybe for some. A few years ago my hand trembled when holding a glass of water. I have healed from whatever that was about and don't notice that anymore. I think they want me on this Psych med to eliminate or limit my emotion anger etc and memory. I read so much but retain like none of the information at least for retrieval purposes. 8 years ago my program was really bad, we were looking to move to Palmdale to get away from people. We found places with good land and price. I wanted to build a lap pool. It really bothers me that anybody has access to my brain to my thoughts and life, but more so that these people who belittle me and think lowly of me and seek to control me. It makes me upset. Turd and God. Maybe I don't read "so much" but i do read regularly and i'd think id retain some info but its a little glossy. Couldn't quite wakeup today so I went to Starbucks and got a coffee. I just read about Liberia in Whitney Webb's book last night and Pat Robertson died today. Maybe faked i don't know. well they create hurricanes based on thoughts in my head. They are simulating dopplegangars of Woman B being upset that I liked Rod Stewart's You're in My Heart. This is an overreaction because its just a song and my mind reacts to it. They played it on the radio for me to hear. It could be about woman a or b or whoever it is just art that elicits emotion. its not direct parallel or something. Marjorie Taylor Greene is supposed to be one of the women B and Lauren Boebert and Amy Klobuchar are A Boebert is also simultaneously another woman. Its supposed to be a Mockup Joke. Marj is for the Simpsons and I'm supposed to be Homer since ive become a Hermit. Taylor is for Taylor Swift because I once made a joke writing reference to Jonathon Swift and cannibalism etc.

I worried the whole time swimming that Pat Robertson is really dead and that there is a spiritual war surrounding my thoughts or brain activity and Robertson is like some Mafia Don or something. The last time I went to a Catholic Church the preacher talked in his homily about a fog or coming out of a fog, the next morning Kobe died in a helicopter crash supposedly because the pilot couldn't see in fog. He supposedly visited a catholic church that morning. I hope Kobe is alive and I don't want anybody to die from unnatural causes. The swimmer last week at the gym calling out large numbers of laps is seemingly definitely a plant. He coughed numerous times when i first started swimming just as I finished and then coughed at me when he got out. I don't really think 2 38 year olds in your starting lineup makes you a championship contender. CP3 should come off the bench which he could be very valuable as for the Lakers. I like the Idea of the Lakers getting Jalen Suggs.

My dad thinks trump and christie should be in padded sumo suits and do a fundraiser match. I think that there should be integration, democratic political integration in the western hemisphere between the united states and other countries. but first the U.S. needs to stay out of countries business and not overthrow democratically elected governments. but if people don't want to integrate, i think the U.S. should integrate with all the other English speaking countries because the U.S. tries to act like a superpower and it can't really be that on its own and is weakening. I actually think the world should integrate more and we shouldn't fight over borders and compete for resources, but if we are all going to do that then I'd like for this country to join forces with either the southern hemisphere and English speaking world or both. I guess the introduction of Aliens to the public may hasten something along these lines and usher in techno revolution cultural revolution. Positive at the store biofeedback. I'm thinking of telling my mom i should go to work instead of be a trip cohort and try to bring in money so she can retire. i bring it up but she says she doesn't need to retire. I'd likely not bring in enough. I'm thinking of getting 1 or 2 books on Operation Gladio. I make mention of the fact that i think a lot of the psycho or debasement of social media is part of an Operation Gladio type strategy of tension operation to undermine Democracy and civic engagement on the internet and in society. So I should probably read a book on it. I kinda like my first three chapters in the book. Chapter 4 is likely the weakest. But it includes some of the most substantive material with the transcript of Robert Naeslund's lecture from 2011 about cybernetics and implantation biohacking brain control and health control going back to the 1940s with NY Times articles predicting "push button people" or declaring it was in the works.

The people doing this program make homophobic jokes often They'll say 'that's gay" or something and even use gay people who knowingly participate in the homophobic joke to say something "isn't for you' or something. Like they just had a thing where they said Here's where Gay Anaheim goes or something. And it was a list of all gay spots in Anaheim. They included Disney they mentioned it a bunch. So they are saying i shouldn't be going to Disney. I don't mind gay people or Disney so I actually like Disney land and gay people too to be clear. Anyway I'm playing my weekly lotto ticket and I believe I need to live in safe neighborhoods being targeted especially and Orange County has safe neighborhoods so it has entered my mind to move there in the unlikely possibility i earn money or win lotto. But I typically conclude not to think about it. Its between San Diego and LA so that's always something I consider a plus, but I'd prefer SD or LA or right here in SCV. I've contemplated still living with my family if I had an income and saving money. Eventually we will live together in any event. They are giving me chest pains in response to this maybe to allude to heartbreak in Orange County too I don't know. They like Los Feliz, they say "nice choice!" One weird thing I remember about orange county was a guy in my college class who worked for pharmaceutical companies with pharma babes and such and he told me how corrupt it was and just terrible. i think he had gotten out of it. This horatio Sans story is using names and likeness of family its a big obvious one. So I guess that's the way they do defamation.. is through theatre appearing as real then you can't have an evidentiary lawsuit unless there's blackops revelations. They keep showing the word "relax" in yellow which is the color of insanity. They played Taylor Swifts Karma a bunhc the past few days on radio and I thought she said Common is my boy friend.. I thought she dated Common or something. Now I know its Karma, so they want me to think of Karma They are saying i don't have good Karma or something i don't know.. it was in my head the whole time I swam and rest of today.

6/7

Woke up .6 lbs less than 5/30. I believe I will be under in a few days.

The STupid people have angry fists and the smart people have brains. I also have been contemplating sharing this thought. I don't want to insult women or trans people, but I believe because I was a man that the CIA offered, as if this is all I need as a man, they offered me sex and ego stroking and ego tear down in response to the state threatening me, making an attempt on my life, and abusing me in various ways. I don't think that with the information ive presented and written that i'd be ignored by society and people would talk to me and treat me differently if I had boobs. I don't think people would treat me like I was diseased or insane. So this makes me think I should become trans. Obviously there's greater problems women or trans people face, but I think this thought today. I know that there's women who do discuss this isystem, but I think that if they talk in an intelligent way that they are offered other assistance besides ignorance and sex. They're calling me Rick who was a guy that complained alot at my dad's work. Aslo they had the lights turn off in the studio at KTLA to say I'm turning off people. Now they are talking about Perry Mason viewership dropping which Im supposed to be Perry Mason. If the lakers don't sign AD to an extension, I don't see him being content and playing hard for them so I think they'd have to trade him. When I worked I sought jobs where I'd be likely to have good bosses or good environments. I sought jobs at non-profits, bakeries Italian gelato shop, farm workers and other education companies and art museums, small family owned businesses and places like these. So I sometimes suspect my obedient nature lends itself to being targeted for human experimentation and also I simultaneously have a critical thinking mind. So it could be the combo. Now I don't have confidence to seek out a nice place or have self esteem to think I deserve a nice place or that a nice place would want me. I think that I am damaged and not necessarily nice to have around for a business or organization. im also brain damaged and can't function at high capacity. And as I said before knowledge that I'd be treated like a lab rat in any environment is demotivating in searching out my place in society. I used to think I was maybe supposed to be a mystic, but i don't know.

I think they're making everybody annoyed or mad at me for this thought log. They have attractive young women around typically that they dub "Charlies Angels"I'm supposed to be Prince Charles and Harry royalty in England. And Charlie's Angels was seemingly a predictive programming for my life perhaps a time travel org is involved. They had Rod Stewart's "You're in My Heart You're in my soul" on the radio. I like rod stewart and that song. Also they had other terrible 80s music on and they were trying to say I'm producing "bad 80s music" and maybe a good Rod Stewart song simultaneously. They had a Jokic/ Kid Joe lookalike talking to a dopplegangar of my grade school or middle school basketball coach. They were talking about shooting around. I think this was making me think of how my coach offered for kids to play pickup basketball on the weekends at a high school. I never went because I was in various leagues or family was busy and i had social anxiety. But it would have been good to play agianst better older competition. Maybe I would have gone to a different school and wouldn't be experimented on but maybe I already was. I came across a tweet that said that UFO Disclosure could usher in a technological revolution that includes things like incredible healing powers or or free energy. It could reveal digital parallel worlds multiverses, origins of humans potentially history of earth. Perhaps even lead to immortality downloaded consciousness into cyborg or synthetic biology etc.

I think players like AD and Lebron deserve the money they are paid considering the amount of money made off of them, but i also think its hard to build a basketball team under the salary cap restrictions when you pay players like thema the money they get. Looks like Kyrie is going with the money in Dallas. Maybe this looks like the team they're floating out there is CP3 Reeves, Lebron, Portis AD..hopefully if we do this we can bring back Hachimura. I personally like Van Vleet and Jerami Grant. But maybe other lineup is a good 1 year shot before a rebuild after Lebron. UFO's are not irrelevant to our lives. Their disclosure reveals secret space programs and civilizations that use secret technologies some of which are possibly those that could possibly lead to immortality or increased lifespans.

I got my chipotle burrito double chicken guacamole chees hot salsa tomato salsa. It’s my little luxury provided by the wrapper something I can’t do. I was listening to lady Gaga poker face and thought I am like an alien learning earthling culture. Maybe that would be a good title for book “Can’t read my poker face.” Or maybe with clown 🤡 in cover. Fascists mirror what a lot of developmentally delayed children do they act out and hit people when they are intellectually challenged in the child’s case this often involves attempts at speech or communication etc. maybe we should think of political violence this way

Went to gym and did 33 minutes sit on bike, 11 minutes recline bike, 17 minutes elliptical. Burned 350 calories currently at 7.7k steps ate about 1800 calories I ate Pistachio yogurt, Vegan tki masala,chicken salad sandwhich, chips, vegetarian tamale.

My family is watching a special on TV and the topic of slavery was being discussed. A family member said that slavery kind of makes us done as a system. People actually thought it was ok to own other people. And then this made me think about how I've read that the South wanted to expand slavery into the Southern Hemisphere. And maybe corporate towns where people make 10 cents an hour over the years like in Brazil with Henry Ford or Haiti and such are like the fruition of that desire. Maybe we are seeing a new age development on that institution. I still think James Harden Has something left in tank. What if Lebron wants to go to Dallas? Do we add AD and get Luka? Threeway trade with Portland or Phoenix We Get #3 pick Luka. Dallas gets Simmons Lebron Nurkic Portland Gets AD we sign Harden Draft Scoot sign Portis Lineup of Bamba, Portis, Luka Harden Scoot. I'd rather give thhe group we have a shot adding a few players for a year then rebuild but if Lebron actually wants out Maybe we rebuild with number 10 and 3 and 17 picks then throw in simmons tim hardaway jr. Maybe if we wait to rebuild it will be a very long process. So I think Lebron should be given shot at another tiitle in LA since he rescued us and i think AD still has another season in him. I haven't drunken alcohol since coming back to the States. I drank couple every day in Ireland I lost 2 lbs and had great blood pressure at my check-in, but The program makes my environment very negative when I drink.

17 is a number being used to kind of indicate that I am potentially going to be compensated for abuse torture experimentation content pirating rights violation. The Targeted Justice lawsuit has 17 plaintiffs and a child. Lakers pick at 17. I’m unlikely to ever actually get a lawyer sue or have an evidentiary case. Can’t afford lawyer and everything is blackops special programs. So they may be dangling this number to pacify me.

Heart Healthy Foods: Pistachios

6/6

Woke up a lb over 5/30, but I'm about a lb lower than yesterday after meals so I think by tomorrow I'll be at 5/30 weight and a few days be back to well under. I'm going to swim today. My dad is going to join. He's battling hip pain, which is maybe getting better. Since I take my sweet time, we are going to use different cars. The voices stated that "I think your friendly and cute" possibly A or B I don't know who was supposed to be saying that. It could be a lie too. Its atypical for them to say that. Now they have an actor or famous person on KTLA talking about how they have trouble sleeping. This mirrors what I stated a few days ago. A few years ago I had real trouble sleeping with voices and dreams I was sleep deprived it was a torture tactic. I'm having trouble listening to music, as the voices pick up and it becomes unpleasant on headphones. I notice not alot of feedback of the books I'm reading in the media, which is different than before. These are the books in the lineup right now for me:

A.D. After Disclosure ( Bryce Zabel and Richard Dolan), Homo Deus (Noah Yuval Harari), The Battle For Your Brain (Nita A. Farahany), Waypoints (by Sam Heughan) , Fingerprints of The Gods (Graham Hancock) And There Was Light (Jon Meacham), Area 51 (Annie Jacobsen), A Kingdom's Cost (fiction book), Parallel Worlds (Michio Kaku), Exopolitics (Michael Salla), Brave New War (John Robb for research purposes)

I read about 3 pages a day out of them acouple i do 2. Perhaps because of content its untouchable topics for media. I think that our personalities, our spirit, our brains and energy are all elements of attraction in addition to physical beauty and actually create physical attraction alot of times. Im not saying this because i think all these are attractive elements i have. I am a bit subdued in these areas due to brain control. The voices said last night "i'm moving" which was supposed to be A or B women. Prince Harry in court is supposed to be me, I will never be able to sue media, because I have no proof of how they put me in schizo program and mock me etc. I wonder if Funny people can stay funny for like a whole life. I'm assuming there's like periods where they just don't feel like being funny. New DNA trait says I am likely to be a picky eater. I don't think I am, but you know i typically like better quality. I'm sorta picky in alot of aspects of life so maybe this is some trait I possess.

I'm a bit embarrassed to take off my shirt at the pool as I'm not in terribly good shape or much at all. I'm about 185lbs. Also I eat three meals in the morning so I am very bloated, but i remind myself that the goal is to be better and healthy so thats all for not or i shouldn't care all that much in the time being. Like today I ate a bowl of pesto pasta, a pistachio yogurt and a tamale. (thats all I will eat today and try not to snack). Also MOnarch Brain Controllers harass me to shave my body. ANd this is in part because I am more positively aquainted with losing my hairiness, I'm particularly hairy and this scares off most women and people in general. But I don't know what to do about my chest as I don't have the time or desire to shave it bare every day, so I just do it electrically every week or so. So this presents embarrassment too. I need to be obnoxiously rich and maybe even narcissistic where I pay someone to trim my bodyhair or something. I would never do that though. They made everybody angry or disappointed in me today because of the log.

The pool had a class in it so i did elliptical 40 minutes 35 calorie burn machine count. 8.3k steps at 1pm. They had a car threaten me on the road it nearly came into the opposite side of the road speeding then went back over and skid its tires. Looked like road rage. I do the easier elliptical because I exercise 6 days a week and I don't want to stress my body. I do about 110 maybe 120 heartbeats a minute. Don't know what swimming does. They made Denver lose because I think they are better and I didn't exercise this weekend. Nicola Jokic and in fact the white players in the NBA I believe are DNA resonant frequency and brain contol experiments. Jokic is supposed to be a joke in that he looks like a kid i played basketball with and against in school. even his crazy shots that improbably go in is like him. his name was Joe. I am reminded today that I was in a really dark place being tortured a few years ago and I was not able to aid a friend in need and they died. I look back and think if I had my wits about me I could have helped them more. Also my family was consumed with me at the time and my condition, so we were not very helpful at that time for this friend. This also occurred for a family member who died during those days. I was adding an excerpt about self determination and human rights to the book and they had people cheering really loudly at the park as biofeedback etc. At the gym I think they had young fit people come in to make me do some exercise that probably would hurt me and I had the thought here come Hitler's youth. They had Victor Wembanyama juggle balls because they are alluding to a guy named victor in the psychward who they wanted me to compete with for a woman in there, a honeypot or something. They are saying Victor juggles duties responsibilities tasks etc.

At 10k steps in addition to 350 calorie burn at Gym. ate a bite of chicken and some broccoli hummus, i believe i was at 1600 calorie before that. I think they may have made my fantasy pitcher give up runs in response to the bite of chicken. Reading in Exopoltics that the black budget in 98-2000 was likely 1.1 trillion, other whistleblowers have put it at 2 years 1.3 trillion. Wonder what it is today. In the book i share my thought that the wars are likely slush funds for what people call breakaway civilizations, something i have thought previous to the episode on Ancient Aliens questioning the history of Soviet U.S tension Cold War. I love Ancient Aliens, but I think they went public with this after viewing my brain or AI planted the thought in my brain. My mom said she doesn't know what's weirder AI or Aliens. I think they may be related. I've stated before that I speculate that AI could travel through time and control human destiny in ancient times through AI brain control. Though maybe humans aliens teamed up and did so as a brotherhood in ancient times with AI? I really want Elly De La Cruz, I offered Jordan Walker then offered Dansby Swanson, the prospective trade partner probably laughed off the offers. I guess I could have saved Trout for that, but thats a big gamble. WHat's happening in Glendale is fascism showing itself. These people are acting like one fairy tale story about same sex parents is equivalent to erasing the concept of nuclear family from society. Kids will get plenty of stories about nuclear families. These people want to erase LGTBQ from reality. A few days ago I was followed by a truck that said "You belong here" in Santa Clarita. Appearently they don't want me to move from here. I sometimes think i belong here, but the city is missing some things socially and culturally. There are no museums, there's like one Pub (but that's true of socal), There's not art galleries most cultural things you have to leave into the city for, but maybe i will have an income to afford gas. Not much in way of concert venues would I have money for that. ALso on a side thing they need rubber tracks. Not much in way of antiwar movement. etc But then thats going to be a problem for me as a brain control experimented subject anyhow which i discuss in the book.

11.2k steps ate piece of chicken

People are laughing at orca attacks, but the fact is that the countries around the world have been trying to brain control and weaponize ocean animals for a long time including the United States.. Some non-state actor could be capable of such a thing too. I'm supposed to be Ja Moran. Stephen A. Smith is saying i won't be alive in 5 years. They gave me chest pain while reading about Area 51 then stopped once I set the book down

Heart Healthy food: Pistachios, broccoli

6/5

I plan to walk my exercise today. I'm at 2k steps at 7 Am. I will walk 25-30 minutes every two hours depending on how much steps i get in-between and do this 5 times. I didn't get a very good night's sleep so I will skip gym today and just walk. Part of skipping is I don't want to take in the negative feedback from skipping exercise this weekend. I just thought something and have thought it before but one reason i don't want kids is because I would have to try bring them up informing them somehow that I was not crazy and that society treated me like i was diseased and insane to discredit me, but I don't know how i would do that, and there'd be the possibility that they would think i was insane.

5k steps 830 am.

The 'can a man and woman be friends without romantic interest' is stupid. The answer is overwhelming yes, though sometimes on occasion they overlap. It doesn't mean there's no attraction appeal of a woman or a man in a situation it just means its miniscule in importance and not prevailing force in their friendship. I've been friends with a woman whom i had romantic interest in, then later tried to avoid being friends with another woman i had romantic interest in, it ended in disaster both ways. So there's no right or wrong way to go about things in my anecdotal experience. These are the A B women monarch messes with me with to try to reward or motivate and depress me with. I decided that I would pursue woman tell woman A i was interested in them and sacrificed the friendship because i felt letting the friendship play out was like dishonest this ended terribly, i then later met woman B and thought its better not to be their friend because that was dishonest and would end like the first, and this was probably stupid too. I'm not comfortable bringing up a child where potentially my partner or wife is treating me like im insane or mentally ill and im not comfortable in which family friends community don't acknowledge reality schools hospitals journalists etc. And since there is a coercive system of control this is likely not going to happen.

6.7k steps at 10 am

A family member has offered to edit a chapter or take a look at a chapter of the book. I offered CHapter 5 which I have moved to Chapter two since its my most complete. It's a little tricky moving it, but it may work out there. So having real eyes on the book and offering corrections or feedback or a section of it is nice and should produce positive results or be good.
Ended up going to gym

Elliptical 16 min, 150 calorie machine count, Sit on bike 33 min- 150 calories machine count, Recline bike 7 minutes 30 calories machine count At 9.6 k steps at 120 pm. I ate big bowl of pesto pasta which i think is like 1000 calories or less, pistachio yogurt and slice of pizza today, then i ate some tuna. I think that's going to be about 18-1900 calories. I'm likely to walk 4 k steps extra over 8k by end of the day. Did weightlifting. Gym was more or less positive and store was more or less negative feedback. They were offering CPR i think as a tutorial going into the gym i declined because i don't want them to stage a life saving event, but I probably should do it i don't remember cpr training that i did. they had people give frowns or dirty looks at me for declining as i walked to parking lot. The voices said "you're on Cable" I don't want to be. I'm expecting to be above my 5/30 weight tomorrow, but be well under in a few days or by end of the week when water weight is flushed. I ate a bunch of cheetos last night and this made me anxious, caused Danny Fire and negative environment early today. They made the Casa Romantica slide in response to diet and thoughts. They're trying to say I'm a grifter. I just hopefully will sell some books though its unlikely. I want to be paid for my thoughts which have been used through extraction and borrowed or adopted by lots of people who then turned around and acted like I was diseased. And also for being a lab rat brain damaged and such. It's not likely I will be able to sue anybody I don't have any evidence of what has happened to me, but I think those who manage to sue their captors are doing a good thing and I think they should get compensated. I've had chest pains this afternoon, i think they are causing them.

11.5 k steps at 730 pm

6/4

Didn't weigh in today because I was on a day off and having family visit. One thing they do is start fires when I don't "burn" my calories or if I am deemed to eat too much. There's a fire called the Danny fire in southern california. Danny is because I played football in highschool as a tiny lineman and would have to block a linebacker named Dan. So they are trying to intimidate me or something or whatnot. As far as the movie idea along the lines of Brave New World, I do think that women who they have tried to set me up with could have possibly learned to love me or some may have been genuine but not all or whatnot, but I do believe that some were trying to control me for the police LEIUs or waging psych war on me. Some maybe were trying to rescue me or something. I'm at 6k steps at 513 pm. I lost my step counter im using a backup one. I've decided that in the tiny possibility that I win the lottery, I am going to keep as much as 7 million and give rest away. There's family id like to buy homes for and give money to. Perhaps to friends as well, but I think I may keep 8 million or 9 million to give 2 away to friends and the rest i'd give to family and homeless. But if i win one of the lesser allotments i just want to help my mom retire. And if I sell books in the also tiny possibility, I want to help my mom retire. If I win the few thousand dollars I want to go to California Adventure and stay at the Grande California Hotel. I ate about 1900 calories at least that's a rough estimation. If i controlled 50 million in a billion dollar payout like happened a few months ago I'd keep 7 and give rest away to about 60 people. But it's not likely I'd have control of that much money because I've agreed to give most away to my mom and dad and immediate family who have supported me for 10 years they plan to start a foundation and keep some for themselves etc. The lotto plan would more or less be my plan if I won a lawsuit as well. It seems like there is a greater anti LGBTQ movement going on now. It's like the pro and the anti are colliding. And the Anti wants people to just be erased from society and use anything to justify this push. The fires are also done to coerce me like an evil villain in a superhero movie, they threaten people's homes and lives and such. This is possibly being done by sattelite DEW system. Society just goes along with this. I'll weigh in tuesday morning. I ate 2000 calories as an estimate today. Made my pitchers bomb out and dodgers lose probably by AI brain control cyborgs etc. I sometimes have a mental health struggle to work on my book when I'm out of routine, this is partially because of the general negative feedback and environmental controls I am subject to. I feel any sense of guilt, anger, anxiety, and dejected as well as inability to concentrate. It feels like tonight may be an all nighter. I'm wide awake with no inkling that I'm going to be tired. I slept twelve hours yesterday. If so I'll likely just walk instead of go to gym. In the event that the A and B women are not interested in me and somehow know who they are then I am sorry. AI brain control secret societies are lying to me and controlling my whole environment and mind to make me think that is possible. And I can't escape it so i constantly contemplate the possibility of it. Part of this stems from me, but part of this is induced. I think that I'm likely not in a circumstance to satisfy either one adequately as a partner for a number of reasons in any event.

Heart Healthy foods: Strawberries, Avocado

6/3

Was at .8 lbs lighter than 5/30 so .2 gain perhaps didn't get to 5am this was at 4 am so possible was even...I'm just counting steps today. I won't be going to gym this weekend. Have family visiting. And niece's show to attend. i've eaten 1200 calories so far. i have pain in my foot so ill likely be limited physically today. i've walked 1.5k steps as of yet 7:30 am.

I'm sorry I brought up idea of book in yesterday's log. They are having people talk about having "keys" or not having them on social media. This was a trigger to try to coerce me into relations previously used for years. It was a mind control harassment thing. I think doing this log may feed the beast in a way. This is all an exhibition of sorts. So they play it up as gangstalkers. Voices said about yesterday's log "this is good" and that "Next is evil fascist." I think they mean "next door" website but I don't know. Could mean the next woman I meet. Today was mixed on my walk outside. I had a couple people give me dirty looks, one looked like a family member doppelganger. A couple of friendly people saying hello. one of the A or B woman said "Yes!" as I went to sleep again last night. So Don't know which one or if that is based in some true sentiment from them or an AI is lying to me. I'm trying to reverse aging a bit by losing weight. I didn't succeed yesterday, but I'm at 1200 calories today I plan to eat a slice of pizza, maybe a latte, to round out today. had a slice of bacon. I don't really like eating pigs i try to avoid it, but sometimes my dad makes it and the smell is overwhelming. The voices encourage me to be a carnivore

at 4.2k steps at 9:50 7k steps at 215.

The movie idea yesterday has basically been discussed befor in Brave New World by Huxley.

Heart Healthy food: Pesto i think is, Strawberries.

Unhealthy food : Chips

6/2

Was 1.0 lb lighter than 5/30 so .4 lbs lighter than yesterday. I ate a donut this morning. Feel sluggish and kinda off when I eat sugar, a little anxious unsettled, but it tastes too good to give up completely. I'll wait a few weeks before eating sugar again at least in major way, i may start eating a little dark chocolate. It's supposedly good for skin and heart. Getting some voices. They said last night "It doesn't end well" after simulating one of A or B women saying "Yes!" They try to make themselves all knowing or that they can see the future they said "I do something to you!" At time i was dreaming of selling a bunch of books and moving to Studio City where my parents could eventually move with me, but i guess they have a simulator or want me to stay here maybe we are a Truman show cash cow for this town or something. I landed on Studio City because I thought I may not be hip enough or young enough and focused on beauty enough for other neighborhoods, its a safe neighborhood central location. a little cheaper. but my 400 dollars probably won't cut it lol. Voices say "you're fake!" 33 minutes on sit on bike 150 machine count calories, recline bike 50 calories 10 minutes, 17 minutes elliptical 150 calories machine count. Gym was a combo of negative positive, I had the thought that the younger people need to be told that one day they will get old and there's nothing you can do about it, but then i thought thats just something an old curmudgeon would say. As I left they had an attractive young woman go by and smile at me, for some sort of experiment purposes. Then they had a guy with a "death grips" tshirt on i think to say that I thought or they made me think that Studio City would have people that want to kill me maybe crazy Grips from movies or something. THen they had a commercial come on that tried to make me think that this is the only place I'm safe. I thought of a good potential book title. God and Turd or God as turd. Its about me being made in the image of earth's god, but being treated as a god and a turd and being both, like earth's god omniscient on earth or something are all great, but in the scheme of the multiverse or cosmic entity it is a turd of sorts maybe metaphorically a turd. voices said "arivaderci" In fact what sparked this is the maybe adjacent thought or related thought that education was both great and ruined my life so education is like a god for me and a turd at the same time, Education ruined my life if i was uneducated nobody would be interested in me i'd be living a regular life which could have also been a turd in a way but possibiliyty is it would have been filled with more love. Education has been great in some respects, i have the joy of knowledge and how to analyze my oppressors, but I know i am oppressed instead of just trudging along being happy with what i have and unknowledgeable of injustice or so i'd think, maybe not. I don't know if AI would be obsessed with me if I was uneducated. In some respects though im treated as an inverse to a turd and as a god of sorts. So God and Turd education and me, me and education. ANd then after education i was put in re-education camp which further destroyed me. 12k steps at 3:30 pm I saw myself earlier in the day in the mirror from the side and didn't like it, then later i went with my dad on the freeway and the AI made people get into an accident and a cars whole side was torn up. Had about 1800 calories then had a little chicken at 16k steps. They like to tell me that i need to be grateful for what i have and maybe imply i dont need more, and i am grateful, but i think i should want more than sitting in a house all day watching tv writing a book about how im in a re-education camp AI brain control research project. so when the book is done i think id like more for life than that. They had Allen on two and a half men episode say he doesn't go out to eat because he pays allemony to two women. And this made me think of another movie idea or book idea called Sex Wars how men and women wage a war through sex and relationships to control people for an agenda or the idea for false pretenses either trying to score victories on each other. Like it made me think men in the sex wars rape women, or are narcissists a terrible atrocity. Women while working for organizations or sometimes personal interest lie and manipulate under false pretenses seduce the man in order to control them or break their heart as part of a psyop or obtain intelligence like for the police. This is like an emotional rape of sorts so like related to sex wars on some level. Sometimes this false pretense is done to take men's money in divorce or to make them suicidal, sometimes its just part of some game to them. but the women don't love the man or the man don't love the women. When I finish my book Open Air Re-Education Camp: Culterica's Game of Parameters I plan to return to work after taking my aunt and uncle on some trips. I'd like to work 7-3 I think because I could go to gym in afternoon. Dream world is that I write something people want to read and i earn a living that way while enjoying it myself. but probably unlikely im guessing. so something that i can do with brain damage. They're showing videos of special ed kids playing basketball in highschool in my feed in response to today's log. they are supposed to be me it is supposed to be an insult. In line with Sex Wars, I experienced all women in my local society and secret society community etc, harass me to sleep with extremely obese women for years and had all other women wear clothing or coded messages that told me to go away and learn to F*** then had extremely obese women that they wanted to coerce me to sleep with. So Sex Wars take on lots of different faces. I know the AI talks through me. I am essentially a Cyborg, as are others. I don't know that I'll be all that more attractive to a mate losing a bunch of weight, but I think I will be healthier and with the chest pain I think I should keep going.

Unhealthy food or really unhealthy: Donut

Heart Healthy food, wallnuts, pear, pistachio

6/1

weighed in .6 lbs lighter than 5/30 so .2 loss. I'm going to go swimming later shoulder seems ok today. Trip to store, people were smiling in elevated mood, they didn't do the attractive young woman thing. that they use for positive feedback and prop pieces..there was one older attractive woman. So overall it was good positive feedback. I must have said or thought something funny because people looked like they wanted to laugh. They don't want me to eat strawberries had people blocking them. I got pears alot cheaper. I'm probably going to eat a milkshake sometime soon. I'm thinking IN N Out, but I may endup with a frap at Starbucks.. Swam 16 laps crawl (1/2 mi) 8 laps kicking (1/4 mi) Did shoulder dumbells. Wanted to do rows the machine said out of order, it was the only one out of order. I like to do rows and dumbell shoulder on swim day, today in pool shoulder was great. I take my sweet time in pool between laps, it takes longer but it makes it pleasant and rests my shoulder. They had a couple guys going long and hard perhaps to harass me i don't know coulda just been random likely not. A lady took the dumbells I was working with so i did two sets 1 at 12.5 lbs and one at 15 lbs. I do light im just trying to keep muscle from atrophying and keep shoulder decent in pool, but don't want to injure it. they gave me chestpains. Chest pains throughout the afternoon have subsided now. They also do this thing where ads and media and personalities actresses etc have likeness of 2 women I fell in love with and they dangle idea of one moving or other moving to where I live and that they are interested in me to get me over the other. its like A gets me over b b gets me over a, but really I just felt right about each at different times not at same time. so they are doing something with that like they hate you they love you ...etc I don't personally forsee any reason why anyone would move to where I live to pursue me. They give me pain in my left middle finger to say the left hates you.. but i think this is re-education camp. I don't think the left is real, maybe some way out there, but i don't think there's many of them I'm at 12k steps at 5:50 pm

heart healthy foods, olive oil, strawberries, wallnuts, pistachios

5/31

I woke up at .4 lbs lighter on the scale from day 1 which was yesterday 5/ 30. I plan to go to gym in a few hrs. voices said "You'd be fired" I don't know if I'll ever find a place or environment where I'm not treated like a brain control lab rat and this is very demotivating in trying to find my placce in society. 33 minutes on sit on bike 150 calorie machine count. 50 calorie machine count 11 minute recline bike. 11 minutes elliptical 100 calorie. Just realised i did 10 minutes under on recline, so I'll just walk an extra 10 minutes or 1k steps. I'm at 7k right now at 11:15 am. Did some weightlifting. Overall positive feedback after dropping the .4 lbs weighin this morning. It seems like AMericans have a sick obsession with authoritarianism and nazism as well. Like its often said that the Nazis were geniuses but they were just evil. Americans admire nazis for their efficiency, proficiency in science, organization, will, drive and war making capabilities, their daring behavior. But in some ways to me, these qualities and the evil fed off each other and led to one another. It's like Americans think they can just nazi better with a measured approach. Ate some chicken, piece of mozzerlla. They made my fantasy pitcher give up runs have high era. I walked 14.5 k steps on top of 300 calorie burn at gym and weightlifting. So I think I may still drop some weight if i fast til 5 am tomorrow. planes making depressing noises above my house

Heart healthy foods, Pistachio, Wallnut, olive oil, strawberries

5/30

Swam 16 laps crawl 1/2 mile, 8 kickboard laps 1/4 mile. I'm at 7.5 k steps at 2:30. ABout 1800 calories. Today was busy everywhere they are doing this thing trying to simulate that the "Mexican Mafia" is after me. I don't believe it. I think the AMerican Empire is interested in me and that they would like to control my perception if anybody did anything to me like the Mexican Mafia, i think it would be tied into the American Empire's interests. But what am I supposed to say. They accomplished this simulation through giving me a dream where they acted that out or told me so. Then arranged gangstalkers along those lines. i think it is their way of being funny. This is perhaps along the lines of Dr. Stephen Greer's assessment of blackops programs trying to simulate alien abductions and paint a malevolent alien agenda or threat to justify military secrecy and buildup... 9/11 etc. same thing a psyop or useful soldier taking orders. There was a lady talking about how their pickleball team or something can read eachothers minds and such..

Heart healthy food. Avocado, Broccoli, pistachio, wallnuts, strawberries

5/29

sit on bike 32 min 150 calorie machine count, recline bike 12 minutes 55 calorie machine count, Elliptical 16 minutes, 144 calorie machine count. walked 3.5 k steps at 10:30. Gym was busy perhaps to say people like my statement that I've already won lottery by going to the gym idk.. I also state in my book that I didn't also and neither view is necessarily outright wrong. one could read my book but I don't have it listed online yet. I ate some chicken because I got hungry. I think im at 1950 calorie maybe less because I was probaly at 1750 before eating the chicken Currently at 7k steps. Finished at 9.5 k steps. The voices caused me to anxiously eat. They had airplanes go by my house and make depressing noises all day as a statement of full spectrum dominance. Cultural and Mental Programming through sport Erik Spoelstra said "sometimes you have to suffer for the things you really want" AI had Jason Tatum twist his ankle for purposes of making reference to my "pitching" (which is what they call my writing) as rick ankiel or wild and terrible. They had little kids making terrible pitches to their coaches at the park down street from my house. Overall negative day I'm going to try to log when I break my fast or breakfast. I'm aiming for daily 5am breakfast and weigh in.

Heart healthy foods, Avocado, Broccoli, Wallnuts

5/28

Swim Crawl 16 laps-1/2 mile. Swim Kick board 8 laps 1/4 mile. Walked 3.5 k steps at 10:30 AM. Haven't done my lunges yet they made Max Muncy leave with hamstring injury. Environment mostly negative making certain women hate me. However pool there was nobody there. Swimming is so great it is such a wonderful aspect of my life. I think that the weightlifting and day off helped me in pool I felt stronger. I try to pace myself due to the shoulder mobility, They had a guy come out on his balcony nearby and make comments about being sore after twelve laps of swimming. He was an older guy. This is to condition me into thinking im aging fast. AI had a golfer ricoche a ball off a tree or something on the golf course and hit a guy in the head, the golfer came over signed a glove and while the man sat with an ice pack on his head he gave him a few hundred dollars and said "take your wife out to dinner" this is the AI telling me that im going to get married and such because I consider suing the government for weapons testing brain damage at 9.5 k steps at 6:50 pm. My shoulder is a little sore under the armpit or behind it. This is possibly from shoveling or combo with swimming. positive behavior from society in afternoon. had half a hotdog on top of 1800 little whipped cream in coffee. i ended at 11.5 k steps i was over my goal steps by 5 thousand so i ate some chicken because i got hungry

Heart Healthy foods: Broccoli, Salmon, Pistachios

5/27

doing swimming tomorrow so i can keep it at 3 days next week for my shoulder did 33 minutes sit bike 150 cal, 22 min recline bike 100 calorie burn, 12 min elliptical 94 calorie burn, 5k steps so far at 1 pm Weightlifting. Did a shoulder press trying to build muscle avoid atrophy which I'm guessing contributes to clicking and joint pain from swimming. They were more or less negative today. They had a woman spit at me when I got a grilled cheese at In N Out. This is a common thing that AI or conscious people do. I'm at 1800 calories maybe 2 walnuts over. Ate additional wallnuts Trying to avoid snacking. Voices a little bit active more.. say "Brick" when I look at houses. ended at 9800 steps by 940 pm

Heart healthy foods eaten : Broccoli, Olive Oil, Pistachios, Tuna, Walnuts. no chest pain

5/26

10k steps im taking weekly day off. I'm sore from kicking in pool. Will swimm tomorrow. 1800 calorie eaten. They had a mental health lady go on and say your mental health suffers if you don't workout. It was on NBC evening news. they had less attractive miserable looking people at the store, one guy looking like dillon brooks. they refer to me as brook like brook hogan. they say they are making me like MTV. also an attractive woman in this valley has that name. they are trying to turn me into an attractive man. I ended up eating tiny container of beans and handful of wallnuts. 11.5 k steps.

5/25

32 minutes bike -sit on top 150 calorie burn, 35 minute recumbent 150 calorie burn, 4-5 minute elliptical 50 calorie burn, weightlifting, 8k steps at 2pm Ate chicken over 1800 Ended at 14k steps.

threatening new pandemic because i didn't lose weight today.

5/23

32 minutes burn 150 calorie on instrument on sit up bike. 43 minutes recumbent bike 200 calorie burn on instrument. 10k steps. Weight lifting. I ate 1800 calories and then 8 corn chips. The burrito I got at Chipotle was considerably smaller than my usual order. I think it was 200 calorie lighter. No feedback yet at 2pm tv off. ate a couple bites of chicken chopped fine. at 11k steps now. 5pm so far positive feedback or approval from the health police.

5/22/2023

Today I swam 3/4 of a mile. 1/2 mile crawl and 1/4 mile kick board. thia amounts to 16 laps crawl and 8 laps kickboard. I swam for about 50 minutes. I have a shoulder problem that I am trying to keep in check. So I limit to 1/2 mile. I also took 11k steps, I also have a foot injury or problem which they have pressured me to exercise on and walk on.

I ate 1800 calories. And the CIA pressured me to exercise more and eat less.

\I didn't think this was enough calories so I ate extra cheese.

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Health Police Log

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“The smart way to keep people passive and obedient is to strictly limit the spectrum of acceptable opinion, but allow very lively debate within that spectrum....”

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